Five Parenting Mistakes I've Made

"There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one." — Jill Churchill

No parent is perfect, myself included! In this week's "Sunday with Sarah," I discuss five things I would do differently if I were to start my parenting journey over again.

What mistakes have you made as a parent? What would you do differently if you could? Please share your comments below!

If you found this video helpful, please give it a thumb's up above and don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to my "Sunday with Sarah" channel!

[charmyj]

Thank you Sarah

1. Choice of toys
2. Screen timing
3. Helicopter parenting
4. Movie rigidity
5. Fear

[CenteredlParentingTV]

street sharks! hahaha. If I had a do-over I would not let my kids choose so much of their own foods. I gave a 'variety' and let them choose. I thought eating carrots, applesauce and yogurt were just fine. All items were organic and I thought that was 'well-rounded' enough. It wasn't. When I read GAPS when my youngest was 10 I realized I had made a huge mistake! I should've had MUCH more fat and probiotics in their diet and not let them choose their own foods - because their gut was not healthy enough to provide guidance. It was working entirely off of a sugar addiction- even though we ate no candy, no juice and no artificial or processed foods.

My second one is rhythm. I found Waldorf when my girls were in preschool and I finally learned about rhythm. OMG, my life became INFINITELY easier! Before that I had no rhyme or reason to my day- I would head the grocery store at no particular time, attend playdates whenever anyone called and had no plan to my day- other than "I need to get to the store at some point today and naps happen after lunch if we are home." Once I established a strong rhythm, my life transformed and literally 90% of all meltdowns and problem areas of my day magically disappeared! Imagine, not taking tired kids to the grocery store and the entire trip being enjoyable! haha. It's the little things! :) .

[whitneyc.]

Thank you for sharing this information. One thing I have been doing is inviting boredom into my children’s day. It’s amazing to see their creativity! I hear so many moms talk about how busy they are with soccer practice, swimming, jobs etc.

[IsItNaptimeYetVlogs]

I love this video! I am currently pregnant with my sixth baby...and my other children range from toddler to late teens. I have noticed that I am definitely more open to letting my kids be kids in recent years. The other day my husband rushed into the house, all out of sorts, asking if I knew that our 18-month old was playing in mud puddles with her older brothers...in her brand new clothes. I laughed and told him that both babies AND clothes are washable and to let her play. I never would have said that when my oldest two were toddlers. Thank you for this video! It is truly appreciated. ::hugs::

[jayzeigler]

Wow thank you for your honesty. I made so many of those same mistakes raising children that are now in their 30s and 40s, I thought I was the only one that now sees things differently and wishes I could change things and maybe rewrite history. My daughter is such a great mother using Peaceful parenting ideas. I read and study those ideas to try to come beside her as a support. Not easy but so much more fulfilling . My daughter even encourages me saying I am too hard on myself and she and her brothers are able to build on my shoulders. I was raised in a home with parents that both drank, then at 8 when my dad stopped drinking my mom left and I was left to help run a household with my brother and our long distance truck driving dad. He was a great dad when he was home and after he stopped drinking. I totally broke the drinking/leaving cycle and was there for my three children but still made mistakes similar to yours. Thank you for sharing and lifting a bit more burden from-my shoulders. I too watch your you tubes each Monday.

[bt]

I love what you said about fear, it is so true. I would say I am guilty of the same things you are, and slowly trying to overcome them. It's hard once a child receives a plastic toy or finds a TV show they like to change things without an extreme detrimental change. I didn't let my son watch TV shows until he was two but it was a nice distraction for him while I cleaned the house so I could make some headway, or so I thought at the time. Now I know how I could have just involved him in my housework more, it was a foreign concept to me then and I didn't know how to involve him.
He is now almost five and I keep making small changes one at a time, but it's hard when he goes to play with his cousins and they watch TV and plays video games while he is there at their house. Then he comes home with all kinds of bad habits and I have to correct them everytime he gets exposed. I hate that family visits are something we have to overcome over the next few days afterwards. I guess I just need to find some like-minded families to also go play with too since my son is an only child at this point. To give him some other exposure to the kind of play I hope for him to experience.
I applaud you restricting your son's movie exposure when it comes to rated-R movies. I feel most people don't and it has a detrimental effect on the still-a-child's perception of the world. My parents did not restrict my brother's movie watching in high school so I was able to see first hand what poor images can do to a growing mind. I've seen it in roommates in college and even adults and on and on. When we see poor behavior, language, and disturbing images on a regular basis we become accustomed to them and even begin exuding the same behaviors and language that were previously uncomfortable for us to behold.
I do not believe that imitation is strictly a behavior of toddlers, I would say that all people unconsciously imitate whatever they are regularly exposed to as they start to accept what is on TV as what is going on in the real world around them. The more TV and movies we watch, the more our world becomes like the characters portrayed in them. The more tolerant we are of crude language, behavior and humor, the more our world becomes like an R-rated movie. That's my experience at least.

[MetamorphiKate]

I have a 10 month old son and worry about doing right by him in our current world, and what you said about fear really resonated with me. Thank you for making these videos, Sarah. I look forward to them every weekend.

[mollymiller]

I enjoy your videos! “Do not be afraid” is written over and over again in the Bible. I agree that fear and worry can plague us as mothers and disable us from loving our children. When considering homeschooling I talked with a friend and told her how afraid I was of my children being unsafe at school. She told me not to make this decision (or any!) out of fear but out of wisdom and prayer! This changed my entire perspective about decisions I make regarding my kids. To be wise and not afraid. Thank you for reminding me!

[Sybillebrasil]

What a powerful message about love and fear. Thank you for sharing! ♥

[abarnhart]

So beautiful. As my oldest daughter is almost 9 it is good to hear the lessons of your heart. So valuable.

[sherilwoehl]

Thanks, beautiful video. I love the meditation part and I truly believe that with the right steps since early childhood, time by time, we can trust little by little, on what our children can protect themselves. We won't be with them all the time and everywhere, so we should build this place where love and trust are priority 😊❤️

[vanessamercado]

love what you said " the opposite of love is fear, is not hate. this is so true.

[annalisabognanni]

Thank you very much for your sincerity. I also raised my first child until three years without knowing anthroposophy, I also made mistakes. This is rather life. I’m Italian mummy. Thank you for sincerely sharing your experience.

[brittanydumoulinful]

I try and bring my little ones somewhere safe to play often does not even have playground 2 of the children I care for are on the spectrum. I find this so valuable even a open field as they just instinctively run and play and explore. I also provide what I call a neutral zone in my house. This is for open safe unassisted play. I find it helps with behavior, anxiety, sleep and creativity. Thanks for sharing your great insights and bit of wisdom Sarah, I find hindsight is 20/20

[elisbedore]

Thank you. I made and keep making many mistakes with My sons

[annabarham]

I’m not a parent, but I’m an aunt and I still live with my parents. When my niece was born, I was really still just a teenager, and I only have half siblings from both sides, so I already had nieces I didn’t see very much of at all. I’m also neurodivergent and have a visual impairment. When my elder half brothers had children, I didn’t realise how fearful I was and how little I actually understood of the situation, because of the fact that my mother was becoming a grandma and I knew that those kids are growing up with both sets of grandparents when it wasn’t long after I’d lost “grandad Jim”, my mother’s father AND my “grandad Barney” my father’s father and his second wife within a year of each other. I somehow had a fear that my mother would have less time for me as I was away at blind school and Uni very often and she was also very busy at her work as a teacher. The expectation was that I’d just drop those fears and “step up to the plate” as a loving auntie to the kids, but I just couldn’t and didn’t want to do it. To my parents, this was “selfish” and “you’ve just got to learn to share my love”, but to me it was sharing her love with a kid who’s not my full blood relative.

[marleenhoogendoorn]

Dear Sarah, what a wonderfull video. Last year we changed school for our elderst daughter. She goes to a Waldorf school now. I had so many insights since then. I learn more and more about the waldorf ways and I often feel that I already did too many things different to really change them now. It's really comforting to see that not starting from the moment of birth, doesn't mean you can't start doing otherwise. And so comforting to hear how many 'mistakes' we all make and what a wonderfull mums we are at the same time. A really regognizeble video, thank you!

[anamariaflores]

Sarah, I just discovered your channel, and I think I am going to be glued to it for the foreseeable future. Thank you so much for such relevant, insightful and inspiring content x

[ayseceliksagr]

Your voice and the way of talking is so relaxing, i hope you will help me for being a better mother.

[oliveatearthenaurora]

It makes me feel so great hearing you only discovered Waldorf when your son was about to go into kindergarten (or thereabouts) as I have recently chosen to follow a Waldorf curriculum for my homeschooling for my son who just turned five. I felt disheartened that I had waited too long to start Waldorf values and create a Waldorf home, so your story gives me hope and helps me to realize that my son IS still a little boy and that there is room and time for change even though it feels like he is half grown already. Initially I instinctively kept my son away from tv and tried my best to only have minimal non-plastic toys (without even knowing about Waldorf.) But it was hard to get family to understand the toy request and then when he turned 2 his grandmother came to visit and started him watching youtube nursery rhyme shows. As they say, the rest is history. We are about to move onto a converted school bus that we have been converting for most of his life (nearly four years) which we started because we wanted a life closer to nature and to have him be an outside kid. We never expected it to take this long and as a result, most of our free time has gone into working on the bus, which the past few years has involved letting him watch shows while we work to keep him occupied and safe on the jobsite. I want to make the move onto the bus a happy time and not traumatic, but I also think it would be a great time to implement a lot of Waldorf changes since so much of our life will be changing anyway, I feel like maybe I can sneak them in, lol. Of course I will have to try to keep some things the same for some stability, but I want to try really hard to make it a transition that feels joyful.