Parent Psychologist REVEALS Top 3 Parenting MISTAKES (DO THIS to RAISE Healthy KIDS!) Dr Becky

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and renowned parenting expert. Dr. Becky discusses her innovative approach to parenting, emphasizing the importance of understanding children's emotions, managing parental triggers, and fostering a nurturing environment. She shares practical strategies for parents to connect with their children, set healthy boundaries, and break unhealthy cycles. Dr. Becky also addresses common challenges such as screen time, social media, and maintaining work/life balance, offering insights and solutions to empower parents and support their children's growth.

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0:00 Intro
00:04:09 - Changing the Narrative around Parenting
00:07:47 - The Identity-Behavior Separation
00:11:33 - Understanding Bad Behavior: The Foundation for Effective Change
00:15:24 - The Goal of Childhood: Resilience over Happiness
00:19:18 - Building Resilience in Children
00:23:04 - Teaching Resilience to Children
00:26:35 - Building Resilience in Kids
00:30:08 - Believing and validating emotions in children
00:33:58 - The Power of Belief and Connection
00:37:32 - Time Boxing Worry Time
00:40:57 - The Importance of Engaging with Different Opinions
00:44:48 - The Flaws of Traditional Parenting Strategies
00:48:26 - Questioning the Effectiveness of Timeouts
00:52:05 - A Different Approach to Parenting
00:55:37 - Responding to Coaching Criticisms
00:59:11 - The Terrifying Pilots
01:03:11 - Violating Boundaries
01:06:54 - Understanding the mindset behind punishment
01:10:20 - Understanding Behaviors and Building a Good Identity
01:14:05 - Teaching Resilience through Uncomfortable Scenarios
01:18:11 - Rising Above Heckling and Building Identity
01:22:02 - Leaving Behind Three Truths
01:26:05 - Intergenerational Trauma

#greatness #inspiration #motivation

[lewishowes]

Thanks to Dr. Becky for sharing her wisdom with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again YouTube.com/lewishowes

[genta]

(summary)
Parenting Insights and Actions
1. Understanding Kids' Behavior:
- Principle: Kids are inherently good; their identity is separate from their behavior.
- Action: Distinguish between the child's identity ("good inside") and their behavior, which can be addressed and corrected without labeling the child as "bad."
2. Effective Communication:
- Principle: A parent's words become a child's inner voice.
- Action: Use affirming language and avoid harsh criticism to foster positive self-talk in children.
3. Raising Resilient Children:
- Principle: Resilience is more valuable than temporary happiness.
- Action: Expose children to challenging scenarios in a supportive context to teach them coping skills and emotional regulation.
4. Dealing with Challenging Behaviors:
- Principle: Understanding the root cause of a child's behavior is key to addressing it effectively.
- Action: Instead of punishing, seek to understand why the child acted out and work on developing the missing skills or coping mechanisms.
5. Setting Boundaries:
- Principle: Boundaries are what we will do, not what we expect others to do.
- Action: Clearly communicate your actions in response to certain behaviors, ensuring the child understands the consequence is a result of their actions, not a punishment.
6. Modeling and Practicing Scenarios:
- Principle: Preparation and practice help children respond better to real-life challenges.
- Action: Role-play challenging scenarios with children, providing them strategies to handle situations effectively (e.g., walking away from taunts).

Personal Growth Insights

1. Healing and Self-Reflection:
- Principle: Healing from past traumas and reflecting on one's behavior are crucial for personal growth.
- Action: Engage in practices that promote self-reflection and healing, such as therapy, mindfulness, and journaling.
2. Building a Good Identity:
- Principle: A strong, positive identity is foundational for healthy behavior and relationships.
- Action: Work on separating your actions from your identity, affirming your inherent worth regardless of mistakes or failures.
3. The Importance of Repair:
- Principle: Repairing relationships after conflicts is essential for growth and connection.
- Action: Actively seek to address and resolve conflicts through open communication and empathy.
4. Embracing Discomfort for Growth:
- Principle: Growth often comes from facing and overcoming discomfort.
- Action: Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone in safe and controlled ways to build resilience.

General Actions for Improvement

- Reflect on Your Interactions: Regularly take time to reflect on how you interact with others, especially children, and consider if your actions align with the principles of understanding, resilience, and positive identity building.
- Seek Resources: Look for books, workshops, and other resources that offer insights and practical advice on parenting, personal growth, and emotional regulation.
- Practice Empathy: Make a conscious effort to empathize with others' feelings and perspectives, whether in parenting or personal relationships.
- Cultivate Self-Compassion: Recognize that growth is a process and be kind to yourself as you work on becoming the person or parent you aspire to be.

[KarenH]

Can we please have her back and have her speak about teens??

[norfe]

Parent words become a child self talk… so powerful!

[Carlyaila]

Funny some adults say that it doesn't make sense, but it makes perfect sense to children when we apply these techniques.

[britt]

I don't have kids, but I can certainly remember one of the most hurtful things in childhood being when your parent doesn't believe you!

[alyatkins]

The best thing my parents did for me was tell me no to a lot of things. I'm very resilient in that way and I'm extremely resourceful, too. Also, I'm so grateful for grandparents who were connected and vulnerable. It made all the difference and now hearing Dr Becky talk about this, the MAJOR message they gave was "I believe you" and "I see all of you and love you the same."

[OneDayataTimeautism]

Didn't hear about connect before correct... But I do it with my boys and even share with them my precious growing up memories... It works wonders every time I connect to them even before I correcting them

[koorizfynz]

She's honestly brilliant and I understood everything she talked about, it's so refreshing to see someone that knows this stuff and articulates it so well.

[Lucrative_]

Wish the messages were clearer, I know she knows what she’s talking about, but this feels like I’m eavesdropping on a happy hour conversation.

[vanwin]

Also love ‘connect before correct’. When they feel you relate to them, they feel you understand their experience too, THEN they let down their defences.

[SydneyBristow]

41:41 Feelings have a time and place, and don't always need to be public. I'm glad she didn't call her style gentle, because I perceive that to be weak and generating children with poor emotional regulation. Sturdy = balanced. She is teaching that emotional regulation at home, so they can survive and be a good example for others in public. 👏

[aishakhan]

i am relistening her book again and again
one day while bringing my teen daughter from school
had such a great conversation
i am so glad we are taking about this
it’s very important
i believe you
i saw my teen open up to me briefly, we are working on connection
will keep working and not give up on my child
thank you

[carolpaino]

This is also GREAT info for grandparents! I was brought up differently, I raised my kids in a different way than I was raised, and now I want to learn even better ways to interact with my grandchildren. This was so helpful, Dr. Becky. Thank you!

[GargeeBhandareWadhwani]

I am glad I stuck around because the first few mins sounded dull. Gratitude 🙏🏼

[lunat]

As a mama with 3 kids 6 and under, this episode is so helpful ❤ I knew alot of it, but since no.3 has arrived I absolutely needed these reminders!

[emesezitasomoskeri]

This is such a great topic. Parenting and the cause of behavior is an important argument and I would like to see more of those conversations.
Thank you for your great work.

[elizabethmadness]

For parents of gen alpha kids I have noticed that these kids are more independent, brave, and less ‘controllable’ than any other generation. At first I was thrown by this because it is so different than how I was as a kid but then I started to see the beautiful future that they will be shaping and it all made sense. The world needs them to help fix and corse correct not to follow the path that has led us to where we are. We need to empower our gen alpha to be the leaders that they are and encourage their revolutionary ways! This can look like chaos when they are three and four but in time the fruits of these shift in perspective has helped my children shine and thrive. It wasn’t them that had to change to make it happen but my perspective. Hope this helps someone ❤❤❤

[samanthasmith]

I freaking love this. Thank you. I'm 6 mo ths pregnant with my first child. Soaking it all up and hoping to apply these skills and to have grace for myself when I forget. ❤🙏 Thankful for all the parents who are trying to change and shift old programming ✨️

[aishakhan]

Lewis is my all time ever green hero.
when i am stuck i literally type lewis Howes ——
i loved Dr Becky’s interview with Dr Huberman
did not know this one came out with Lewis
literally typed Dr Becky Lewis Howes
soo happy to another great resource for 1.5 hrs
ecstatic
listened it —replayed it and memorized the script

when i said to my daughter i believe you in the car while driving
i saw the barrier come
barrier that is standing between me and her
thanks