The Secret to a Happy Life — Lessons from 8 Decades of Research | Robert Waldinger | TED

The happiest and healthiest people are those who have warm connections with others, says psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, who leads the Harvard Study of Adult Development -- one of the longest-running studies of adult life ever conducted. Exploring the crucial link between social bonds and quality of life, he shares wisdom and insights into how to identify and strengthen the relationships that impact your well-being most. When it comes to the people in your inner circle, "Turn toward the voices that make you feel more open and more inclusive," he says.

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[Sonzoul]

Good relationships starts at home and when you come from a dysfunctional family where you had no one to talk about how you feel; it becomes harder to develop healthy relationships anywhere you go. Overcoming trauma comes a priority and sometimes at 40 something; we are still trying to figure out how to connect with people in a healthy way. This theory is amazing for people who have stable family dynamic.

[wailenhalen]

I just wanted to say that when I got into rock climbing my social life exploded and I have been so much happier ever since.

[CaMi-hhre]

Thank u for speaking slowly. I'm from Latin America. I never had the opportunity to study in an academy. All that I know It's because I learned by myself making translations of series, music and more. I really appreciate your calm and the way that you explain, thank u so much.♡

[usaloveme]

Learn to enjoy your own company and you'll never feel lonely. Sure reach out and lend an ear or hand to lift someone who needs a friend but be your best friend first.

[robinr]

It's not always easy to find those relationships. Growing up with trauma also sets you up for feeling isolated.

[jedilady]

I am so lucky to be bestfriend with a group of women since university days. Some of them I already met in highschool. Fast-forward 3 decades and we are still very close. And we have healthy arguments and discussions but in the end, it's our love for each other that prevails. One thing that really kept us close since was Laughter and having our own inside jokes. It really made us close! We also look so ferry young for our age because we are genuinely happy when we are together! So for those strict parents, please allow your children to hang out with friends even until late nights. Let them travel together and give them the chance to build stronger relationships. Because I have observed that most real friendship connections start young! It was when u had nothing yet, no success or money. Then you know that these friends are not using you!

[circleoflife]

All good relationships start with a healthy relationship with yourself.

[Muhdah]

I'm glad the Dr addressed introverts and explained the difference basically. I'm an introvert who has learned how to be extroverted, but I have a low tolerance for people who talk or complain too much. That negative energy has a draining effect so sometimes I can only stand talking to a stranger for a few minutes, or a co-worker. I don't have as many friends as I did in my childhood through to my 30s but I've maintained a lot of old relationships and do keep in contact with relatives. I just don't require constant interaction as some might and I'm happier knowing my limitations and how to manage it.

[susandoan]

So true. I am 76 and have no one to talk to, to turn to. Fell very lonely specially when sometime I ended up in the hospital alone and no once to call.

[michaelcliffe]

This man just radiates positive energy. I could listen to him for hours on end😊

[astonmartin]

The golden key in all of social relationships is nothing to lose...Just making a simple conversation and enjoy the moment...No begging extra attention ...just spreading loves from our mind, our heart and our bodies...😀😀😀

[elsagrace]

It’s not really the “warm” relationship. It’s that people who feel that they matter are healthier. The relationship is just the place that most people derive most of the feeling of mattering. Feeling of mattering can also come from pursuing a goal that aligns with your intrinsic values or caring for a person, plant animal or project.

[marcuswarren]

Robert radiates happiness. I felt happy listening to this talk

[xxluaxx]

This is how I feel about nurturing my babies. They know if they call out at night, mom is there. If they get hurt, mom is there. No matter what they are feeling or what they do, mom is there and loves them.

[Queenbean]

I am an introvert and my spouse is an extrovert I believe:) I am always encouraged to make an effort to meet with people, I do enjoy at least 90% of time after I do so, I think for introvert, it doesn’t need to be a huge set up, if you are invited to a small gathering, it’s worth getting out, the outcome and feeling is worth it. 😊

[happyhappyhabit]

This really makes you think about the relationships you have in your life and how they can impact your well-being. Especially as an introvert like myself, it might not come easy, but it's so important to seek out and surround ourselves with those voices that bring positivity and inclusiveness into our lives. It's a valuable effort to make, and the benefits to our happiness and health are well worth it.

[pamelamolina]

I learned the art of casual conversation from speaking with this 80 year old fine lady. She had a way about her. She always found a way to get people to talk about themselves. They volunteered so much to the conversation that way. Also she was very polite. Basic good manners. It was wonderful

[jaymiller]

Reached out to a childhood friend just as Robert encouraged and before the video was even over, I'd heard back and we are planning to meet up in April. Grateful for this wisdom!

[lysan]

For most people, this may be true. But not all people are the same. I know quite some people, myself included, who live happier and healthier lives in a more solitary way. I am tired of being judged by the number or intensity of my social involvement with others, as if a more solitary life is unhealthy. Once, I read a report about a psychological study of so-called "excentrists", people who did not fit the expectations of a rich social life but were very happy and healthy in their own solitary ways, even happier and healthier than quite some socially more interactive people. I specifically remember a Japanese man living alone on an island, a British scholar mainly living with his books, a woman living alone in the Australian outback, and a Buddhist nun who made silent and solitary retreats for several years at a time. I was so relieved that, finally, a more solitary life was acknowledged as one way to happiness. I, for one, am very content with how I live. I am single and have very few friends, which I don't see very often - once or twice a year at most. I feel truly happy and very content, and at over 60, I am still very healthy and have never had any major health problems.

[totalfreedom]

*_Without love and sense of humor there is no happiness and life is meaningless._* 💕☮🌎🌌