Help! My partner isn't motivated! (12 things to try, 1 thing NOT to do)

You've started your fitness journey, but your partner hasn't! What to do??

Today, Coach Matt goes over a dozen different ways to help motivated your significant other (and one BIG thing NON'T to do!)

-----

⚔️ And check out our fitness app - Nerd Fitness Journey!

🧠 Get a ton of free guides, including "15 mistakes newbies make", when you sign up for our newsletter!

🔗 LINKS in the video:

🤝 CONNECT with Nerd Fitness:

#weightloss #motivation #goals #nerdfitness

[isaacwheeler]

Great video, Matt! 💪My 'Big Why' came from almost passing out from running up a flight of stairs to catch a train. Not only did I miss the train but the sight of a very active father and daughter playfighting reminded me of the kind of Dad I'd want to be i.e., not struggling to keep up with them lol!

[TR-wmsg]

I've tried everything under the sun over the past 30 years, good and bad, to no avail. She will occasionally go on a walk with me, but that's about it. One time, though, I suggested we try a cardio drumming class. It sounded really fun, and it was something completely different that we had never done before. She said no, so I said I was going to go anyway (even though I dreaded going by myself). As I was putting on my shoes and about to leave, she said, "Maybe I will come." We went together and had a great time. Baby steps.
The bigger problem is that she's constantly bringing junk food into the house. It's really frustrating, because I'm trying to eat healthy, and it's so much harder when the pantry and fridge are filled with tasty junk. I have started making some of my own food for dinner when I just don't want to eat what she wants (while still sharing in as many dishes as I can, to not appear high-and-mighty). As for the crud she brings home, I'm thinking of asking her to keep it in a special place for herself, separate from the rest of the food, where I won't have to see it.

[mbuhtz]

Great video! My husband is not at the same point I am, but at least he's supportive of my efforts. These tips were all great reminders.

[kyleroussel]

Hooboy did this video ever land. I've tried many of the tactics here to no avail, but have also fallen into some of the "don't"s. Long story short - the only path forward I can see for myself is that I start on my own and as much as possible try to make my reasons for doing it clear...hopefully the benefits will begin to become evident and I'll have a partner to travel this path with....

[shaneduquette]

I love this video. The three things that have helped me become a fitness patient zero are:

1. Get impressive results. When people see you accomplish a dramatic positive change, they'll know that it works, giving them confidence to invest their energy in it as well. When I was a skinny guy just starting out, nobody was asking for advice. I was in it alone. After gaining 20 pounds, I was able to recruit a lifting partner who wanted those same results. After gaining 50 pounds, most of my friends and family were asking me for help, eager to give it a try.

2. Be patient. As a skinny guy, I'd work up the courage to bulk once every year or two. If people bugged me about at other times of the year, I'd hate it. I didn't want to be reminded of my skinniness. I was focused on other things. But during those moments of high motivation, I really appreciated support and encouragement. So with my friends and family, I wait until they bring it up, even if that takes years. And it might take even more years for it to become a permanent part of their lives. (I think it took me 5 years and many failed attempts to get into the habit of exercising.)

3. Make it clear that they're already in a great spot. As a skinny guy, I hated working out because I hated my body. It wasn't until I started getting some positive compliments and seeing some positive changes that I started enjoying my body and enjoying working out. If someone comes to me feeling fat or weak, I try to find the positives about their current position. Usually they're already doing great in a few ways. They can build on what's already working.

[monikak]

In my situation I’m a fitness nut and my bf is overweight. I got him to lose 60Ib but he still needs at least that much. He came to plateau and was draining my energy at the gym. Didn’t learn anything to continue by himself so I got him to sign up for boxing. 5 months in, no results. He started CrossFit. Again, I make him sign these things cause he wouldn’t do it himself. To him he is good the way he is. No results again because he only shows up there to show up and doesn’t really try his best. He eats pretty healthy tho, same as me but he needs to build muscle to burn fat and weightlifting is most boring to him…idk what to do anymore and it’s so important to me 😭

[mommyrivers]

My "Big Why" is I'm tired of not being able to breathe after a simple walk. I'm out of shape, (I know, I know, circles are shapes too)and have a hyperactive 12 year old boy. I gotta keep up with him.

[Travelwith_Adrienne]

I don't have a partner. However, my mother lives with me. Her husband passed away, and I got divorced. It just made since at the time that we live together. We share all the bills and cooking. Before COVID19, we both were very motivated. But she doesn't seem to as motivated as me. We have a big trip coming up in May. I am worrying she will not be able to do the walking. We have been doing this dance video few nights a week. She said she trying to get walk in during the day. I might try some of these tips on her.

[shaianderson]

Great vid. I *JUST* sent my upcoming OCR partner, who’s interest in waning day-by-day, a motivating video I made to help her … but yours is better!

[MagicianGoddess]

Hey, I'm Jordan. I'm a mom of 5 year old and I'm about 30 pounds overweight. My husband is sweet and kind to me but I know he has not been physically attracted to me since having our child. I haven't loved my body either since then. In my heart of hearts I want to change for him and myself. I have work out sprees where I'll workout for weeks or months straight and then stop even though I'm seeing results. I have this reoccurring self sabotage. I want to look good for him and another part of me screams I should feel fully loved despite my imperfections.
These emotions are overriding my will to work out for anyone including myself. I don't want to be in this vicious cycle anymore.
On another note I also believe I'm a candidate for a tummy tuck due to having a child, therefore extra skin (we're low income). I feel like no matter what I do physically I won't change my body enough for his preferences.
(He likes skinny with some muscle.)
I just want to feel beautiful again...

[peterreed]

Just not going to happen. My wife goes cycling, hiking and to yoga on her own. And when she's out I can enjoy a few beers without her disapproving looks. Also I now do all my own food shopping and cooking, that way I can eat and drink all the cookies, sweet treats and soda I want, whilst avoiding eating fruit and veg (which I just can't stand). If I have an hour or two to spare I get a quick nap on the couch.

[burtneyr]

🤣 Don't fall victim to the classic blunder!

[TotalyRandomUsername]

How to get a woman to work out? "Honey, have you gotten a pound or two" Well you have to sleep on the couch for two days, but she will work out like crazy.