Mourning the loss of the child you wish you had

Are you disappointed that your child no longer asks your opinion about things? Maybe you are sad that your child doesn't answer your calls and doesn't attend family gatherings. Perhaps you are disheartened and at a loss that everything you invested in your child is lost, gone and you aren't able to control and influence that kid who once looked up to you.

These are normal and natural feelings of heartache - but, can lead to deep despair and estrangement from your child unless you mourn the loss of the child you wished you had in your fantasy - respectful, obedient, following your values, keeping family and religious rituals, acting responsibly and mixing with the right crowd.

Your child is being who they are and not who you want them to be. That split is so painful for a parent, especially if they are excluded from the process and feel discarded. This video talks about how mourning the loss of the child you imagined having as they grew up is a necessary and vital step in creating the right environment for your child to WANT TO communicate and interact with you. The video points out the problems in using your kids to fill you up and how to mourn the loss of that ideal child.