The Narcissist´s Stare

#narcissist #narcissism #hgtudor

Have you experienced the narcissist´s stare? If so, which one, since there is more than one. HG Tudor explains to you the different stares used by the narcissist at different stages of the narcissistic dynamic, what they are used for and also how is it that certain physical changes occur with regard to the nature of the narcissist´s stare?

[Elephantintheroom-ti]

the stare they give you, has multiple things going on;

You surprised them; you challenged their ego-knowingly or unknowingly; they want to get you back in line; they want to keep you off balance and unrelaxed.

It’s basically envy and wounded ego. And trying to regain control of you. But they can’t show it on the outside! So it’s like an implosion within them.. that stops at their face and that’s the look they’re giving you… it’s goal is to intimidate you due to all the aforementioned

I’ll never forget that look. It’s not just a stare. It’s predatory.

[IreneBeauville]

Once you experience this, you’ll NEVER forget it. Scary AF.

[tamasitarod]

This physical change in the face is no joke.

[cynthiafortier]

One time while raging we were eye to eye. I had never seen such hate directed at me. Next day, it's all good. They are nuts!!

[vladm]

Incredible, it’s mind blowing how accurate these descriptions are and how universally applicable it is to all narcs.. A girl I dated during the golden period once had that fixated stare with so much adoration in her eyes, it worked like a spell on me, I didn’t know how to react so I just kissed her. Other times she had that blank face, like there was no soul behind her eyes, no emotion, not evil, but gave an eerie feeling. As if I was looking at a beautiful stuffed doll. We never left the golden period as I initiated a break up. I had a strong urge to do so, as I felt manipulated and sensed that something was off about her from the start. I had no prior knowledge of narcissists whatsoever. And me being a total empath I felt regret and remorse for doing so, like I betrayed her, I started blaming myself and apologized in every way possible, tried to explain myself and my feelings, what led me to it.. but all for nothing, I think she realized that trying to control me was not worth the effort so she decided to disengage. We were in different cities at the time so she probably felt like she wasn’t getting enough fuel anyway. She just ghosted me after and did a few nasty things to make me feel worse, it was sadistic even, I never deserved that. I really fell for the trap, been 9 months and I still haven’t recovered. The feelings are there and I just can’t get rid of them no matter what. Knowing that it was never real doesn’t help. Anyway, since we were in different cities at the time I didn’t get to see those other stares. Though, funny enough, we somehow managed to kiss for the first time at a photo booth that recorded a video of us. When I played it back later, the first 0.5 sec of it her face looked freaky, like a totally different person, ugly even, and then back to her normal smiling face.. and she’s probably the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met in my life, so that shift looked totally unreal.

Another stare that perhaps exists in narcs, and I don’t think you’ve mentioned it, is that malign, condescending and amused stare that they give you when you’re looking away.. one time I was telling her about a topic on spirituality (apparently one of her favorite topics) and I looked away, when I looked back she had that condescending smirk for a short moment, as if I was a total idiot and she couldn’t believe I was telling her that nonsense.. and then she would snap back into her mode of being an attentive listener and carried on with the conversation.. never really had that with anyone, so these little moments made me come to a realization that something was off early on. For most people I guess it takes longer to catch onto. And she’s a really good narc too, she plays everybody around her; friends, family, coworkers.. they all think she’s an innocent angel, she looks like one.

p.s. Thank you, HG. The amount of wealth you bring to us is remarkable.

[stolensilver]

I was subjected to the malicious stare repeatedly as a child, by my father. It had a profound and lasting effect on me. I never showed my father any emotion whatsoever as he would weaponize it against me.

[Kyanite]

That black stare is rough, I know it well. I shudder to think that about the longing stare and how I fell for it. I can remember particular incidents where it caught my attention and I felt flattered. Eerie af.

[tawanawilliams]

It is always unsettling to me, not normal and that’s when I know what they are.

[triplejmom]

Thanks HG. Now I know what my ex narc was thinking when he looked at me on our last date. I also know the danger I was in, how pissed if I’d unintentionally made him, & what a miracle it was that I escaped. Wow. Chills.

[candycanes]

I have a few top choices that are my favorites.
This is one of them.
It hits every nail on the head with precision accuracy
Unfortunately for me I have witnessed all of these stares
with ALL of the narcissists I have been in contact with.
I passed the knowledge on to friends asking them if they had ever seen it and I think everybody thought I was crazy. No one knew what it was.
Thanks to your work and sharing with us.
I feel like a fly on the wall who gets to SEE all.
Thanking you again for the 50th time.

[MargaretM-vdbb]

Now I understand the Stare, Thankyou HG, I Appreciate these Educational Videos, they help immensely to bring Clarity to the lived experience. ❤️🌻

[goldentrunnell]

The first time this happened i was 5 years old, it's the only memory I have of my mother being "kind" to me. I woke up one morning with measles and she was over me pointing out the red spots on my skin.
The look in her eyes is something I'll never forget.
The next stare burned into me was at age 7, my father was beating me as he did to all of us growing up. I was terrified and desperately looked to my mother to save me.
The cold dark stare from her face told me how disgusting I was, how worthless I was.
She just stared at me while my father whipped me with his belt and kicked me with his boots.
Over the years i avoided these people as much as possible but i stil took plenty of beatings.
Finally at age 17 my father was in a complete rage once again, for no real reason as usual.
He started with my youngest brother, slapped him around and sent him to bed. Then my little sister, more of the same. Instilled the terror and sent her to bed.
Then the real beating began, my 14 year old brother. As he took him inside he looked at me and told me i was next.
Hearing those sounds of my brother getting beat from inside i decided to run.
After wandering around for an hour or so i had my first true defining moment of my life. I decided I had nowhere to run to so i went back home.
A peace came over me that I'd never experienced before, I'll never forget that.
I decided to stand up to him and fight back.
I had the same terror from all the previous years telling me to run but I also had this peace. I literally believed this could be the end of my life and i accepted it. No matter what he would have to take it from me, i wasn't going down without a fight.
It was over in a matter of a few seconds, i had my father face down in our front yard with me on top of him grinding his face in the lawn.
The most pathetic words I've ever heard came out of this whimpering man I'd been terrified of my whole life, "I give...I give, I give"!
I've never had less respect for any other man since.
I'm 61 years old now, I have two daughters that love me dearly and i love them. My son their little brother lived to be 29, he endured things by his mother i wont speak of but yes, i picked quite the abusive woman to be their mother and my son paid with his life for it.
I never repeated the things my parents did to me, to us. However i did repeat the sick relationships I'd grown up with. Ive seen the different stares from women that mesmerize you followed up by the disgust similar to my mother.
I live alone now, its peaceful this way. I have 9 grandkids who think I'm the funny grandpa and my daughters and I respect one another.
They're doing a much better job living life which makes me happy. Without a doubt i should have become a horrible person.
To some i suppose i am.
I don't think of myself as narcissistic or abusive, the lines get foggy sometimes when you come from the depths of it.
I would never hurt or use someone on purpose but if you cross certain lines I'll protect those i love.
Thanks Mr HD whoever you are. If you're getting fuel for yourself by doing this and people like myself can gain some knowledge as well i can think of worse things in life.
It's beyond me why narcissists exist along with people like me who are drawn to them?
I do think its fair to say neither of us come from good places though.
I suppose thats just part if life.

[kyleghettzz]

The blank stare is scary! The mask is temporarily off 🙈

[bcazz]

Ah, teh memories. I grew up with that stare across the dinning room table.

[macuss]

Bravo HG that seductive stare description.
You have a hell of a way with drawing people in.

[tammy]

The last (and final) narc I escaped who was a lesser showed up one day with everything he owned (3 boxes) and needed to stay at my place as he had been kicked out of his last place with the person he was devaluing. Reluctantly I said ok as I felt sorry for his situation. Many terrible things followed, too many to list but one day I was taking a nap and I had started locking my bedroom door because he would always interrupt me. He picked the lock on my door and I awoke abruptly to find him standing over me staring with a look that made me feel like he was a stranger who I didn't recognize. I knew at that moment he had to go but it took some time as I was now fearful of him. I had to get creative to safely get him out. Later, when he was gone I was still engaging with him out of pity, buying him food and other necessities. Once I finally stopped helping him he said he should have stabbed me when he had the chance. So glad for my knowledge of narcissism. I can't thank you enough HG.

[ntombifuthiyika]

The stare doesn't bother me anymore.

[PabloMuerteUno]

I saw that stare and it gave me a lot of satisfaction to be honest. It depends on context

[Dominq-vz]

I know one thing, they sure don’t like you to stare at them. I got cursed out by my ex narc for staring at him.

[jonnywoodall]

During the devaluation stare his lip snarled. So much accuracy in this video that it brought me back to those dark times.