MONTESSORI AT HOME: Responding to Toddler Tantrums

MONTESSORI AT HOME: Responding to Toddler Tantrums

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#montessori #montessoriathome #montessoritoddler

[sarikatimmi]

“ All emotions are acceptable, but not all behavior is” so powerful

[MariaandMontessori]

I want to add the importance of tone and volume of our voice. Speaking in a loving but firm and not loud voice. It's amazing how well kids will actually listen to us even if we are speaking in a low volume. Much better, actually, than if we are yelling. It shows them that we are calm and in control of the situation, that they can rely on us. They listen more intently to hear what we are saying and in turn start to calm down. One of the most effective guides with positive discipline that I observed pretty much whispered... it was phenomenal to witness how much more effective it can be than just yelling!

[szherman]

Thanks for this video! Definitely worth watching. Steps in short:

1. Calm yourself- Take a deep breath 3:15
2. Get down to their eye level - you’re on their team, not a threat. Establish connection 4:01
3. Validate child’s emotions and experiences “I see that you are having so much fun playing, you are mad and don’t want to stop. I understand, it is okay to feel that way” 5:15
4. Set the limits kindly and firmly. Follow through with your limits. It helps kids feel safe and secure. “It’s okay to feel x, and it’s time to leave the park. Do you want me to carry you or do you want to hop to the car? “ 😊 6:55
5. Offer them a choice 8:02 Can help to be playful, give something to look forward to. Not about distracting from feelings, just giving a coping skill.

[RebeccaChekeleleeBrambila]

The "we're on the same team" mentality changes everything for the caregiver! Thank you for sharing such practical, specific responses.

[balesshippolova]

For us a great way to help prevent a tantrum is to give a heads up before an activity change like " we're going to leave the park in X minutes " so they can finish whatever they were working on amd it seems less abrupt.

[JA-vvwy]

Giving my son a countdown helps minimize tantrums. “In 5 minutes, your going to get a bath”… “In 1 minute you’re going to get a bath”.

[kittylikesmilk]

being a good parent requires creativity and brains. sometimes, i feel like i am not smart enough. all these steps sound so logical and intuitively right, but, in the moment, when my toddler smacks me in the face, i can't seem to think back to any of these steps. lol.

[haniyyahahmadbonvini]

I watched this with my husband and we both emanated immense gratitude to you and your beautiful family for changing our lives with guidance like this, in addition to the courses and literature you’ve provided over the years on positive discipline parenting. We have been PDP for almost the entirety of my daughter’s life, and at 2.5yo this sweet soul still has tantrums but they’re highly predictable and manageable now. I can attest to the magic of positive discipline with our child. I’d also like to add it doesn’t ever end- we should always lovingly and respectfully parent throughout our children’s lives well into our greying years.

I have no problem connecting with my daughter, getting at her level on my knees in a grocery store or at the playground to help her through her emotions. I have shed all social stigmas when it comes to my child. Nothing matters but her emotional and mental well being. Part of guiding our children to reconcile feelings is reconciling our own, and embracing feelings as part of who we are and who our children are.

Loved every bit of this video! Thank you Ashley for continuing to change the world for the success of our children ❤️

[mandyjoi]

Wow! As a 1st time momma, this video helped me realize how well Im actually doing with our little one. I've picked up little tips and tricks along the way that mirror pretty much everything you've said here. I always just try put myself in his shoes, get down to his level and explain that I understand how he is feeling. Parenting is work but feeling seen after watching this feels great. Still have no clue what I'm doing (most days) but hey, little our man feels loved, heard, respected and is super happy! This mama is smiling and feeling proud 😊

[behappy]

I always see videos discussing this but never see someone actually prove that this method works by seeing a video with a child throwing a tantrum and how they calm them down. Please share! 😁

[tommypatton]

Honestly this is the hardest part of being a parent, at least for me. But how can I expect my kids to react well to stressful situations when I can't even keep it together for a tantrum. I'm going to write these steps down and mentally practice it, because being calm only lasts so long when she doesn't react to my calmness the way I think she should 😅

[aprilb]

As a toddler mum and a primary school teacher I so wish every parent did this with their children!
🥰🥰🥰

[constancemaymiller]

I am so glad you added the bit at the end of the video about the process not working because I feel like this happens to me everytime. I guess I must be doing something wrong because I always end up having to physically take my son to do whatever it is that he doesn't want to do. And although I do it gently I find his rough physical contact really triggering and it is so frustrating!

[ansonjones]

Your videos inspired me to look into teaching at a Montessori school and I have an interview tomorrow with one! I just love the philosophy of this so very much. Thank you!

[strongwaterfallwoman]

Omg I love the confidence mama!! I started watching your videos 2 years ago and it helped my son thrive and grow. I’m thankful for your videos so much!! I’m happy to see you published your own book and now have e-courses! ❤️

[MsSadie]

Thank you Ashley, the timing of this was perfect for me! I’ve been struggling so much w/ tantrums from my 3 yr old lately.

[MikkaRoqueJacobson]

Ashley!!! I just love you! 😂 thank you for being the kind of parent you are. I have been watching your videos for almost a year now since i was pregnant and realized what i want for our children and family is supported by the Montessori approach. Thank you for sharing your learnings and experience in a way that is so easy to digest. 🥰

I am so excited to see how your kids grow into such kind and compassionate human beings because of you!

Also i felt like an A+ student when you brought up your book and i already have it.. and am currently reading it 😂🙏🏼♥️

[Serve]

Whenever I reflect on my kids emotions, it’s just makes them more upset. Then the tantrum just gets way worse.
I’ve started keeping it very brief. I say, “I understand this is upsetting to you, but we need to…”
It helps my kids if I’m vague, otherwise they are reminded of why they’re so upset and it makes it worse

[steveburman]

By far the hardest thing is to stop and take a breath. My wife and I stay on top of each other when we see the other needing to be brought back in. I will say this is the hardest parenting style but will pay off so much in the child's confidence as they get older.

[TDBee]

Perfect Timing on this video for me! My daughter just turned 18 months old yesterday and she is an independent knows what she wants kinda girl, and let me tell you, I was NOT ready for this beautiful strong willed free spirit to embrace her independence. Today she was NOT ready to leave target and for the first time she went all the way off on me and did NOT want to go to the carseat AT ALL, literally body flailing and I was in shock because I had never seen my cute sweet, wittle baby do this. Today she was officially toddler lol We got threw it, I was calm and we got buckled and I think we both were silent on the way home trying to figure out what in the world we both just experienced lol

I know she is just trying to express herself but doesn't have all the words and tools to do so, but little did she know, we were on the way to the park after our target run so she was sooo happy and excited once she was released from the carseat lol (once we left the park, she did not meltdown she behaved very well--but i think the sun today drained her, I had no idea it would be like 80 today in Denver area, whew!)