MONTESSORI AT HOME: Responding to Injury or Fear

MONTESSORI AT HOME: Responding to Injury or Fear

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DISCLAIMER: This video was not sponsored. The recommendations and opinions expressed here are completely my own. Some links included in this description may be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide, I may receive a small commission, but there is no additional charge to you. Thank you for supporting my channel so I can continue to provide you with free content each week! :)

**NOTE: This video is NOT intended for viewing by children. It was designed ONLY with parents of young children in mind, to offer helpful ideas that they can incorporate into their homes in alignment with Montessori parenting principles.**

#montessori #montessoriathome #montessoritoddler

[xXxDinEnesteEnexXx]

I saw on a Danish makeover show (I live in Denmark) that the host was cleaning out a shed with a child, and the child saw a spider and screamed "I HATE spiders, I really don't like them". The host said "yeah that's a big spider" and then he picked it up and continued to explain that spiders live in quite places while he talked about it in a positive way. He then asked the child if she wanted to hold the spider and she said yes, and ended up holding it. I thought that was a really beautiful way of acknowledging her fear, while showing (and not telling) that there was nothing to be afraid of.

[JA-vvwy]

I read that telling someone how to feel or minimizing their feelings is technically gaslighting so I try to apply it to my son. I try not to say, “You’re fine”.

[hannahward]

I am a Montessori Toddler Teacher and as you can imagine there are many "boo-boos" in our class on the daily😂. Typically our "script" is 1. Get on their level. 2 Acknowledge you saw what happened. 3. Acknowledge the emotion the child is feeling 4. Offer a comfort item or coping strategy. 5. Move on from it.

For example this often sounds like "I saw you fell down and scraped your knee. I'm sorry that happened to you, I see that it hurt. Would you like to come with me to pick out an ice pack/bandaid/etc?" Some other coping strategies we offer are sitting on our lap, a hug, holding our hand and going for a walk, doing a work together. It all kinda depends on the child and the situation. But I can attest that this works and very often after following the "script" the child is quickly able to self soothe.

[Kyla_Will]

I have noticed that when I just hug them and tell them I know that hurt and it didn't feel good, go ahead and let it out they usually do not last very long crying and sit there for a min and then are off playing again.

[emilyjohnson]

I have noticed in my circle of associations that it is common to hear parents brightly say “you’re fine!” when accidents happen. I understand that approach but always felt it was slightly off and that I was made to feel that my approach was upsetting to the child when I reacted. This great video emboldens me to respond to the child w/o dismissing their feelings.

[CharlieRobo]

A great thing I once read was to get to the child and ask them "oh, are your feelings hurt or your body?". Then they can say (or point to) what hurts OR when they realise they can't point out pain, you can followup with did you get a fright? This is great for not identifying FOR the child that they got hurt or got startled. With my four year old, I've always kissed her boo-boo and said "Mama's magic kisses" and "heal yourself". A kiss and a cuddle for the minor hurts always, then the disinfectant and or plaster for the bigger ones...

[littlemoonshell]

It is very helpful. Sometimes I feel like I know all of this on paper, but there are still moments I could not relate very well, and I could feel that I was not comfortable with her crying (or whining) and was not providing the support that my little one needed. I will do better.

[achanwahn]

This is why I keep telling my husband we don't tell our poor 18mo baby that he's fine and just ignore him. I'm like, acknowledge him and offer comfort and ask where he's hurt and he'll talk about it and then go on.

[erikacornet]

something I did not like when I was younger and still do not like is that teachers/ my parents would say: see your all happy now.
when I would stop crying.


sometimes I just want to keep crying I am not always happy right after stuff happends but I feel like I need to be

[heidijepp]

Thank you, that's a really great example to make adults understand what we are doing when we dismiss our children! You always explain everything so well, thank you, I love your videos!

[lovelypastelpuppy]

In my early 20s for seasonal jobs I used to work at the Santa or Easter Bunny set where kids get their pictures taken and in the back of my mind I never understood exactly why some parents get frustrated when their kids cry when they are Santa or Bunny's lap. Some parents wouldn't even accept the crying pictures. Of course the babies and young kids are going to cry when they sit on a strangers lap lol. I remember we would have to distract them with toys to have them stop crying or sometimes the parents would have a favorite toy to try to distract the crying baby or kid. But deep down while doing that I always felt kind of bad doing that...Just let the baby or kid cry and let him or her experience the emotions. Thank you for the video. 🙂

[rosaliepeter-isenburger]

Such a great video ! Have an 11 months old here and definitely trying to implement it. Also wanted to add that sometimes it helps to show the child what happened. Sometimes they hit their head and are so surprised. So after acknowledging the feeling you might show them "you hit your head on the door here - ah man that came out of nowhere for you, huh." -- ❤

[parvygovil]

Beautifully explained!
To my 2 yr old, i hug her, comfort her saying that i saw it and it must be painful and then continue to hug as long as she wants and then ask her «is it better now?» she says yes if it is and then goes back to play.

[sallybee]

I hope your girls had a wonderful 4th and 6th birthday! Congratulations🎉

[mori.kurogawa]

Very well said. Thank you, I've watched many of your videos and it helped my build a concept and not be so insecure about children.

[taniamedina]

Thank you so much. The explanation will help me to share this response to my mother that helps me take care of my baby son but isn't completely familiar with the Montessory and gentle-parenting aproaches.

[sistersantiago]

Another thing not to say is "Oh it makes mommy sad when you're sad, don't cry." Children are not responsible for our emotions and shouldn't be shamed/blamed/burdened with our feelings.

Ashley, I have a question. Is it okay to say "I'm sorry that you're...." For example, "I'm sorry that you're sad. Mama is here for you.."

[rashmiashok]

Really miss kylie and Mia.
My daughter who is same age of Mia grew up watching your videos. Wish they would flash by sometime. Your videos with Kylie and Mia helped me as a parent a lot. Used to follow the activities and everyday things you do with them now we really really miss them.

[gotchaa]

We had a school accident last week where a tree fell :( this is perfect timing to get this video out. Thank you!!

[brittanyreid]

Very helpful! My son is 3 and we're struggling with daycare drop offs - on and off for 6 months. I'm thinking about how I can try this strategy tomorrow morning. I think shyness is the issue for us, but that's definitely close to the scared category. Wish me luck 😅