The #1 Reason A Narcissist Has Power Over You

A major problem in your relationship with a narcissist is that in the early stages, you didn't know what you don't know. Psychotherapist Dr. Les Carter discusses the need to overcome a pattern from your early developmental years so you can confidently break free from the power a narcissist may have originally had over you. In this video, you'll hear his heart in a way that can bring out a resolve you can build upon.

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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 40 years he has conducted over 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

[sheilajac]

I'm going to take a stab at it....they have power over us because we project our good qualities onto them (while they project their bad ones onto us). We all see others as being like ourselves. So if we are good-hearted, we assume others are too. We keep having hope that we are wrong about them, that they will snap out of it and change....after all, we can change, learn and grow. But they can't because they refuse to acknowledge they are anything less than perfect.

[dyoung]

Our mistake is that we genuinely believe that the narcissist will change when in fact they're incapable of changing.

[borgward]

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - Maya Angelou

[LyndieLouWho]

Being in a relationship with these people is like having a slow, steady and continuous drip of emotional acid dripped on your heart.

[wranglergirl]

My dad, being a narcissist, purposely kept me and my siblings in state of weakness and fear. Now that we are all adults and figuring him out, he can’t stand that we are standing up for ourselves and setting boundaries. All his hard work going down the drain 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[ivorybow]

And the last and most important thing we say to a narcissist, is goodbye.

[katarinatibai]

When one of your parents is a narcissist, you have a lot of training - you are trained to be a doormat.

[nelumbonucifera]

We hand our power over to them in the name of love, fear or even to maintain peace and it becomes the fuel for them to thrive and control us.

[cymbolichuman]

It took a long time for me to train myself to realize...I can run my own life.

[smokeywhale]

They played a role in my life. They pushed me towards self love. They showed me what I dont want in my life. I'm no longer a victim . Great compassion and love to those going through this. Life gets better after you free yourself. Blessings to dr.c for all you do to help others. Much love to all.

[leilasmama]

Was married to a narc almost 25 years. Didn’t know it until the end. I run into narcs and manipulative people constantly. I’m educating myself non stop so I don’t ever have to deal with it again ! Thank you

[michaellangley]

My awareness is finally clear to me but I am pushing 70. Better late than never. Thank you Dr. for this video as well as all your others.

[geoffb]

It’s NEVER too late to take control of your own life. If you feel trapped in a relationship with a narcissistic person, just start to make inroads into learning to be yourself and not made to feel a door mat and caged in like a lion. You are not a lesser person nor do you have to prolong the agony. Narcs are like a screaming little child who can’t get their own way.
I have learnt NOT to fuel their supply by arguing or entering into their manipulative ways. Just simply pick your battles with them and slowly take back your life. You have a right to be YOU.
Thank you Dr Carter.

[korencunningham]

I came to an awakening about 3 years ago when I finally realized what my family dynamic was rooted in: Narcissism. It took 45 years. I was in the role of giver/fixer. Basically, a narc's dream of supply. My eyes began to open when I met my hubby and he saw the dysfunction. He almost bought into their entitlement and selfish ways by trying to be accommodating in order to be accepted. But when my youngest brother pushed past certain boundaries, hubby established himself and had his say on the matter. From then on, he was regarded as "challenging" and "disrespectful." Fast forward 12 years and during those 12 years, I was still slow to see my family for who they are. I'm a Christian and I thought by turning the other cheek and being forgiving would allow for them to see themselves and see a need to change. I was misguided in my thinking as to what turning the other cheek and what true forgiveness is. Narcs interpret humility and forgiveness as permission to continue being they way they are. In 2017, was when I finally saw the light and realized there is no hope without a change of heart. Your videos Dr. Carter have been a Godsend! Thank you for unpacking what narcissism and all its dysfunctionalism.

[tracyross]

THEY'LL NEVER TAKE CARE OF "YOU", and DISTANCE YOURSELF from THESE LOSERS ❗❗❗🤗❤️

[tbd]

Because we were never taught self love.

[lisarochwarg]

Society loves these people. The world is narcissistic.

[WisconsinWanderer]

My years with my ex wife narc we’re totally wasted years every effort I put into that relationship didn’t matter one bit because it only was about her and what she could get out of it. Now I’m trying to mend my life back to some semblance of normalcy. This thing hurt me to my core but I will get past it you can count on it!!

[marierose]

I believe that they have power when we hang onto a naive optimism that your shared history means something, that their words are actually meaningful and that they will change. And of course, we have had the years of love bombing that we believed were real.

[PreciousRegalos]

"I'm strong. I'm capable. I'm determined. I'm ready."