Why Forgiving a Narcissist Will Backfire On You

In this video I will provide 5 reasons why forgiving a narcissist will not lead to change.

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It's my intention that everyone who watches gets at least one important take-away. 🙏

About Me
Hi! I'm Lise Leblanc. I am a therapist, life coach, and author of 9 self-healing guides. I have over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

Introduction (0:00)
The Impacts (0:37)
1: They Are Still Hurting You (2:36)
2: It is Their Nature (3:13)
3: They Do Not Feel Bad (4:00)
4: Weaponize Your Forgiveness (5:10)
5: Use It to Reel You Back (5:46)
They Did Not Love You (7:35)

#narcissist, #NPD, #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder, #covertnarcissism, #femalenarcissist

[jcnlaw]

As a divorce lawyer, I have seen the huge swath of destruction narcissists cause. If you get a whiff of narcissistic personality disorder, DO NOT MARRY. RUN. You can thank me later. P.S. - you cannot change or save them. RUN. FAST.

[skffingtonai]

"A relationship with a covert narcissist is like being fed small doses of rat poison every day. You get sick over time. It's subtle and you start to forget what is was like to be healthy." That thought is pure genius, Lise. Thank you for that, you nailed it.

[MinouMinet]

It’s not my job to forgive them, it’s my job to survive them. Forgiveness is only for myself, for having been caught in such a dreadful situation.

[emmagrove]

I can tell you from experience that any remorse they seem to exhibit is false and short-lived. Even if they do aplologize, in a day or two they'll twist things again to be all your fault and start attacking you again. Think of the cat: "Sorry I ate your goldfish." Two days later: "I ate the new one but it's your fault for buying another one."

[stefanopezzoli]

You nailed it. Big issue is you don’t realize you’re dealing with a narcissist until you’re out of the relationship. So it’s hard to act as you should with a narcissist as they gaslight you so much that you lose your identity and cannot act accordingly.

[pierremarshall]

They're never sorry or accountable for their actions

[buicklincoln]

Worse than a narcissist partner, is a narcissist parent. You can be excused it you break off a relationship with a lover, but parents have "immunity" that lovers don't. We're expected to love and respect our parents. It is a horrible experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

[mlantieri]

Also, never show vulnerability or weakness to a narcissist……they will use it against you forever !!

[kazkellyquest]

If you forgive the narcissist and reenter the relationship in any way, they’ll use your willingness to come around as proof to themselves and others that they aren’t the problem. YOU were always the problem and THEY are the ones taking the “high road” and doing the forgiving.

[maryriley]

Too true. It took me 58 years to figure it out. I still have ptsd.

[joelblackford]

Lise is correct. The more I forgave the more I was abused by her. They are grooming you to be abused. They will abuse until you are emotionally bankrupt and then discard you. You will empower them by forgiving them.

[suzanneadamson]

Forgiving a person for intentionally torturing you is not possible for me, but indifference & not giving them a single thought works.

[casper]

Forgiveness is for the offended not the offender. Never reconcile with the narc.

[catherinerhea]

I got ALOT MORE than 5...
***NEVER FORGIVE THEM***
FORGIVE yourself for allowing it!!!🖤

[allisonwinterbottom]

To forgive a narcissist is a violation of your boundaries. It’s a step towards danger! Do not reach out, do not be available, you will be hoovered up all over again. Even to forgive them in absentia allows them back into your mind. Boundaries.
Turn and do not look back…

[borisi]

I cannot forgive somebody who doesn't regret truly the things that were done and continues to to.

[cyncin]

Forgive yourself. Do not forgive the narcissist. Grey rock them or the vicious circle continues FOREVER.

[gregorycarlson]

As a professional who has been in the “people business “ for many years, she is absolutely right. Once a narcissist. always a narcissist. This leopard doesn’t it’s spots.

[GeorgiaPresti]

Great feedback. My almost ex narcissistic husband was verbally abusive and difficult to live with. He was so destructive in our 33 years of marriage. I could never make him happy. I finally gained the courage to start the divorce process. The house is much more peaceful without him in it.

[JamesPetroff]

Forgive and forget them, but not their evil ways.