How to break up with a FRIEND - A guide to ending it

How to break up with a friend:

Friendship can go very wrong. Sometimes you grow apart because of core differences. Other times, you should never have been friends in the first place. When it's time to break up with a friend, how do you do it without severe drama?

In this guide, attachment specialist Adam Lane Smith shows you how to break up with a friend. Together we will go through the how, when, and why to break up with friends. This method reduces the stress on you and boils your whole decision down to a single factor that has nothing to do with feelings. If you wonder if you need to break up with a friend and walk away from the relationship forever, this video guide will show you how to make that decision and have that conversation. Adam also includes helpful phrases you can use during the conversation. All to help you get through the breakup and back to living your life.

This video is part of an ongoing series about attachment.

#attachment #adamlanesmith #attachmentspecialist #attachmentstyles #friendships

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►Slaying Your Fear: A guide for people who grapple with insecurity.

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Other ways to find Adam:

[StrangerInAStrangeLand]

Yeah I ghosted someone who was a constant drain on me and my family after years of trying to get him to improve. I regret doing things that way. Good advice.

[ilianalopezsalado]

Thank you Adam for this. My best friend recently expressed resentment towards me from an event that happened 20 years ago, that I was unaware. I have been sad about it, but firm about giving both space. Braking up with her. Your videos are truly wonderful.

[LiamG-txme]

Thank you so much for this Adam, I was looking for someone who would tell me like you did, and this really helped. Thank you once again.

[AuntViv]

This is incredibly helpful. My best friend and I have outgrown each other and I can't agree with all of her lifestyle choices - the most important being the fact that she is in a relationship with a controlling, manipulative, ego maniac for over a decade. Our values and principles are very different and I can no longer subscribe to being okay as every encounter is a dark, looming cloud of misery. I cannot be myself around her and thought to myself - this is not the friendship I want. Thank you so much for your words.

[valerianotval]

As the person who got ghosted, I certainly would have appreciated this approach. I did manage to get an explanation from the friend after dropping off a letter acknowledging that I surely must be at fault for something and offering to make improvements, but the response was devastatingly unspecific. The key grievance was stated as, “It takes a lot of energy to hang out with you.” I had suspected that this might be the case in general, as this was my only peer-aged friend, but was and still am somewhat at a loss as to what specifically I should work on and in what order. I wished her the best then and still do. Haven’t attempted contact since, as I doubt I have sufficiently remedied my personal flaws.

[CmoIsDaNami]

This is interesting. After dealing with a sudden break up from a "friend" after something he wasn't even directly involved in and also trying to see if I was that person, and dealing with a toxic father and having to do this *exact* thing with him (Although it was far from pleasant seeing it was face to face and invovled a lot of drama and crap) it feels pretty good to know I was at least doing a lot of this already.

Weird place to be in for me tbh. But feels alright. Just different I guess.

[patrikbaca]

This is very useful content, thank you Adam.

[kara]

I just did this. I always felt like any improvement I made in myself was belittles with backhanded comments. She knew everything and I could never help her. I got Covid in December and had a nervous breakdown. Another friend and my husband and me told her what I needed her to do to help me, she never helped me, she flat out refused. I felt like I didn’t matter and was less than her. I was having negative feelings about her and I didn’t know if it was anxiety or how she responded to my illness. I asked for some time and space to figure it out and she blocked me on all of her social media and from her phone. 🤷‍♀️

[markusschaffer]

Oh boy. I’ve had to go through this a couple of times, the last little while. Last time, the dude was headed downhill and doing it fast. I tried to get him to think about what he was doing and it all turned into me being an as()(;!e. total energy drain and not very great to deal with.

Actions come with consequences.

[stephenhutchins]

Is it worth apologizing to a friend I ghosted in the past? I don’t like that I did that but I was afraid he would become spiteful and vindictive

[hspinnovators]

There's rarely good advice out there on this it's such a strange topic

[annwethenorth]

You can't change anyone. Stop pretending you can, you're not God