Intimacy Issues In Marriage and How To Overcome It

Having intimacy issues in a marriage can be a difficult experience all around.

Intimacy is defined as closeness, familiarity, or an intimate act. Many people think of intimacy on a more physical level, but there is also emotional and spiritual intimacy as well in relationships.

The quality of how comfortable you are with shows the level of intimacy with that person.

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In any type of an intimate setting, there must be a sense of mutual trust between two people, or else allowing oneself to open up and become vulnerable will not happen.

Common Causes Of Intimacy Issues In Marriage

1. Poor Caregiver Attachment

Sometimes when our needs are not met the way we needed them to be as an infant or a child, the idea of intimacy is very scary.

Many people are often extremely fearful to be intimate with someone because they are taking the risk of not getting their needs met again which can be extremely terrifying.

When you learn not to depend on your caregiver when you were extremely young, it is very difficult to do that in adulthood as well.

Often times intimacy can be quite uncomfortable for people who have experienced a rough childhood. It is not uncommon for people in this category to sabotage relationships as well.

2. History of Past Hurt

When we have been hurt in prior relationships, it is scary for many people to jump back on the bandwagon and risk getting hurt again in their next relationship.

Many times avoiding intimacy is a way to protect yourself from possible pain in the future.

3. Poor Self-Esteem

Sometimes we do not feel we deserve intimacy when our self-esteem is low. If we don't love ourselves, why would anyone else love us?

Many people who don't believe they aren't worthy of an amazing relationship with amazing connection can often find themselves uncomfortable around intimate moments.

4. Poor Role Models

We often learn from what we are exposed to. And if we grow up in homes without out caregivers showing us what it is like to be intimate, we will not learn how to do that as we become adults.

How To Overcome Intimacy Issues In Marriage

Be Honest With Yourself

The first step in overcoming intimacy is to be honest with yourself that you are struggling with this. Often times this is a topic that many people choose to ignore, thinking it will just subside on its own.

The truth is, overcoming intimacy in marriage takes an active effort to do so, or else the problem will continue to fester.

Take Action

Once you are honest with yourself that intimacy is an issue in your marriage, it is time to take action. Do something about it.

There are many self-help books, educational videos, seminars, counseling, and coaching services you can do to help overcome the intimacy barrier.

Be Patient With Yourself

Remember that increasing intimacy is a process, and does not change overnight. But making efforts to change the level of intimacy within your marriage is a great start in meeting your intimacy goal.

Don't allow this intimacy barrier to come between you and your significant other. You can overcome this.

Be Honest With Your Significant Other

Being open and honest with your significant other about your struggles is important as well.

This helps keep the sense of partnership and connection strong as you continue down your journey of being comfortable with intimacy.

Creating intimacy and being comfortable with it is a process for all couples. Often times it can be quite painful for certain people to do this, but the gains you will get individually and as a couple greatly outweigh the struggle to get there.

Trust yourself that you are strong, and take actions now to get yourself in a happier, healthier place for you and your relationship.

[KristinCoaching]

Thank you for watching. If you have any questions or comments,
leave them below and I'll get back to you.

[jefflane]

I'm curious - what's the difference between coaching and counseling? Thank you by the way for posting this, I found it interesting that you used the word victim. I whole heartily agree with that.

[nefelibata]

this is even harder when you are homoromantic, because of more lack of partners to practise with.