How should you handle a marriage without physical intimacy?

If you’re in a marriage where you’re not practicing physical, marital intimacy with your partner on a regular basis, what does that mean for the marriage and the relationship?

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[catello]

She doesn’t want any intimacy, no holding, no touching, no sex. She always has some excuse. I’ve never cheated on her. I feel so disrespected and rejected. I’m at the point of giving up on my 25 year marriage. God help me!

[selohcin]

Depriving one's spouse of sex is a form of infidelity. It is a renunciation of the marriage vows. It is outrageous that the spouse withholding sex still expects and requires the other to fulfill all the duties and obligations of marriage and still denies them intimacy.

[m_jay]

A marriage without physical intimacy needs to be met with divorce! They signed up for a spouse, not a roommate!

[limburgercheese]

Does this sound familiar? We have been married 14 years, married later in life, her first, I lost a spouse to cancer. We were married in the church complete with pre-marital counseling. Filled out a bunch of quizzes and it seemed we were very compatible in every way. I am physically fit and active. She is overweight and sedentary. Sex was ok at first but quickly dwindled into me initiating and getting turned down a very high percentage of the time. She has never once initiated sex with me and even avoids touching of any kind for fear it may escalate, I suppose. Our relations eventually went to zero because I needed to avoid the constant rejection. Even with the missing element we function fairly well as roommates and I am not interested in trying to start over. It is however a very lonely place.

[formicapple]

15 years? My marriage has had no intimacy for 22 years. I’ve given up. We remain room mates. Marriage is now over.

[ficknfish]

At least my wife told me after marriage that she's not into me and just wanted a Baby and be Married. Cold Blooded Honesty is better then faking it a couple of years...

[myvotedontcount]

Ten years in September. Told me that the skin I have after a multiple pregnancy is an issue. He is unforgiving, gaslights and angry. He ignores us claims he is depressed seeks no help and blames me for his walking away from our marriage. I have tried and prayed asked if there was abuse and have no response but why didn't I get surgery. He doesn't touch me, gives no kinds word and he has abandoned his leadership role. I have had to pick up, I go to church alone and fight daily to keep peace in my home.
I am now counting down the days where I am able to leave. And I am broken. It effects our kids and I spend my days trying to show them what they need to learn from the mistakes made. Went to my church for help was told if not physical abuse. What about emotional and mental?

[Hippiegoatchik]

What do you do when you want to fix it but they don't see that there's any problem and you love them and don't want to end the marriage you just want a mutual relationship. I feel trapped.

[sed]

My husband told me that it's best I get my own apartment. He doesn't show me he wants our marriage anymore. And this been and off and on thingvvwith him. Mo matter how hard I try. IT'S just not there in him. It's nothing between us anymore. And we don't live like we married since he told me this January 22 2023

[marvinmiller]

When my wife and I first got together. We didn't get married. We were drinking buddies. A year of drinking, I became a diabetic for thirty eight years now. She was messing around with a lot of other guys. Then she got pregnant with our first daughter. We had three girls and two boys, I'm not sure if their all my children. After almost seven years and five children. I developed E.D. We got married in nineteen ninety-nine She left me sixteen years ago. There was a pastor that did a lot of bad things to my wife daughter mother and other families, men and boys I've been alone for almost sixteen years. The bible says I need to forgive or the Father won't forgive me. I believe the Father YAHUAH & YASUAH Son that was before Constantine and the Catholic church changed the bible. The Sabbath Friday evening half hour before sunset to Saturday evening half hour before sunset and feast days

[squid_mtb]

What about if there are physical and mental issues (from the very beginning of the marriage) that haven't been resolved after 6+ years? Asking for a friend...

[cryptojihadi]

It's just as much of a violation of the marriage covenant as infidelity.

It's abandonment. Divorce the person if they won't get help.

[gersonc.]

We are there but i dont wanna be there.

[JohnnyDFG]

Problem is that the mother taught that sex is bad and then the daughter is frigid and generates arguments out of nothing, about nothing, to drive a wedge in the relationship. Eventually the other party stops trying because reality is reality whether you want it to be or not.
Add on "no sex before marriage" and one man's life might as well be over.

[iusvhfr]

If I didn't have sex when my husband wanted, he would have an abusive tantrum. One night in an argument, he kicked me out of the bedroom. He never directly asked me back in. I enjoyed not having that obligation, since he would want sex at inconvenient times for me. Eventually, he cheated and divorced me. Since, he seems so angry at me.

[Star-of-truth]

What if it’s not sexless but at minimum once a week and often twice in a week and your Christian husband still says your marriage is sexless

[TP-vutc]

Your not missing out on something you never had

[bobak]

Old Testament God had a different idea of what a marriage is. I seem to recall Godlly men having multiple wives and even concubines. But that bit is a bit too uncomfortable for the New Testament Christians, who worship a celibate Jesus, who even with approval talked about eunuchs. Matt. 19:12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by people; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”

[bandittweintraub]

What if Satan has already gotten a foothold via her girlfriend who was a military comrade?

[patriciatollison]

Anyone going through this, get out of the relationship. Things won't change and you will be miserable. God does not expect you to live with a mate who has abandoned you.