How to de-escalate someone

Dr. Christian Conte, a renowned expert in anger management, shares how to de-escalate anyone who is out of control.
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Ho'oponopono

#MuchPeace

[fuzzysocksucker]

Dr. Conte I love your videos.  You are a contradiction!  You look like a badass but are a super nice guy willing to teach peace!   LOL  That is so awesome.
I'm so glad I subscribed.  Anger is definitely trying to ruin my life but I am trying to stop it before it gets out of hand.  Thanks for all you do!

[CTNZ]

I work security and a tip I will give is do not take it personally, 90 % of the time the anger is directed at the situation or the rules you are trying to enforce not you personally.

[youtubeuniversity]

So, as I understand...
1: Acknowledge how somebody feels and help them feel heard to the point of a release where they feel listened to.
2: Go over the options and consequences of, starting with what they were going to do.
3: Let them really, actually decide what they will do, legitimately and truly.

[lordmind]

Validate
Find options
Respect their choice

[TheDefiledShell]

As an armed security officer this video should be standard for all Security and Police training. This video is good. Good stuff man.

[waterfilter]

I’m a security officer at a hospital training to be a police officer and this video helps me so much with deescalation and crisis prevention. Thank you for taking the time to share your

[nkbushoven]

This is really great...I am a psych nurse...these things really work if you keep yourself calm.

[mr.j]

Well the Bible teaches “a smooth tongue turns away wrath...” I’ve done it and it works.

[harleydad]

This is true...even with drunks...the most emotional.

[lornenoland]

I’ve taught de-escalation for years. This video is good stuff 👍

[exzisd]

Number one is the most important. Keeping your cool and not running your mouth off rip is the best piece of advice I know. When dealing with people who are emotionally charged and unreasonable even then it can be very different so if you cannot de escalate the situation even when you've respectfully listened and spoken your minds sometimes you have to leave the situation before it escalates. Some people cannot be reasoned with especially in the heat of their anger.

[Medietos]

1. validate until signs ogf releief show.
2. Point out relevant options .
3. Provide total acceptance and have the attitude of yes to their free choice.


I think that therapist Barbara de Angelis' emotional scale (from "The secrets of Love") is relevant here too:
1.) Anger, hatred, aggression, resentment, accusation.
2.) Hurt, sadness,
3.) Fear, uncertainty, insecurity,
4.)regret, one's own part and responsibility,
5.)Intentions, Needs, goals, wishes for the future,
6.) acceptance, understanding and forgiveness,
7.) appreciation, well wishes, love.
Valuating/confirming (was that the right word of empowering the person?) feelings in that order is probably helpful . adjust to the relevant relationship and situation, of course.

[SerenityScratch]

My family always escalates situation and I sadly learned it from them too throughout my whole life thinking it’s normal to freak out in a high pressure situation. I am sick of seeing every issue in my house turn into mountains when they are just mole hills.

[sullyb]

I am a middle school teacher and I teach quite a few students who have anger issues. I hope that I can use these principles when working with them.

[TheGUITARDJ]

I’m also an armed security guard and just found this video. Kinda late to the party, but this is wonderful information. Here in Tennessee we’re about to be required to have certification in de escalation techniques and CPR as of January 2023, so this is very helpful. Thanks brother!

[NMcG]

While this could in theory work when I apply to my situation. I find it very difficult to de-escalate once someone is in a blind rage and get verbally abusive.

[armsleading]

Thank you for helping all of us, much joy love and strength your way brother!!

[TeddiFish]

This seems super useful this summer in particular. Just shared via FB! <3

[lauraduplooy]

This was my first exposure to your work, Dr. C., and I am thoroughly impressed and inspired. What I found most appealing was that you are encouraging behaviors that create an environment hospitable to personal growth. It's a solutions-based approach that will most likely benefit everyone involved, including the de-escalator. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge!!

[usaloveme]

The world NEEDS more of you. Great content and very relevant in today's angry world of crazies and violent outbursts. Hopefully this will reach the mind of everyone.❤