5 Stages The Dumper Goes Through After A Breakup

Let's find out the 5 stages the dumper goes through after a breakup.

In todays video, i will discuss what the dumper goes through after a breakup.

Most dumpee's think that the dumper does not feel anything after a breakup.

The truth is, the dumper is in more pain that you probably realise post breakup.

Take a walk with me through this video and find out the 5 stages the dumper goes through after a breakup.

✅ Recommended Videos:

My Ex Blocked Me On Everything

How To Deal With A Rebound Relationship

Five Steps No Contact (Dumper vs Dumpee)

[toecutter]

It's just a matter of time until you realise you deserve better, then you can truly move on. If she comes back in the future she can jog on.

[paulsell]

I may not have done everything perfect, but I can attest that they do go through all of these stages. It's really amazing to watch it play out. Currently in the middle of stage 3-4.

[andziagreen]

Thanks for this summary of cold harsh reality👍 I needed this today, got little emotional suddenly out of nowhere. It's been 12 months and he didn't make any contact except we said "Hi" when we met during one event in the town and he gave me back my notes from gardening event we went to together while in relationship. I don't know what to think about him now but I'm still staying cold turkey😁 the breakup wasn't difficult. I accepted his decission because I had enough myself. I cried out of insecurity during relationship when he was treating me like a stranger when there was one woman around, we both know her. He was ashamed to show that we are together especially when she was around. I'm healing and moving on. I treat it as a lesson learned the hard way. Maybe we are incompatible and better to go separate ways but for sure I won't accept back a man who broke my heart and who doesn't really want me. Why would I do it to myself? What would someone who loves themselves do? Thanks for your time to record those videos to educate us dumpees😜

[saraholland]

I appreciate your channel. You have a balanced approach without the hype. Your voice is calm and matter of fact. Don’t feel like you’re selling something. Wish I had found this 9 months ago. Didn’t, so it is what it is. I’m friends with my ex. It’s weird. But we will figure it out.

[dr.options]

I've just come across your videos at an opportune time. You affirm alot of my thoughts in your videos. I'm going to try to setup a one-on-one voice session with you. The only thing slowing me down is that it sounds so exhausting to talk about everything atm. Thanks for your insight!

[larryclay]

Great video. One thing I'm glad you said that in the video is that after the breakup, sometimes some Exs don't get back together until one, two, five or more years later. My ex-fiancé, whom I loved very dearly, left me unexpectedly about three months before the wedding day. That was three years ago. I have not heard from her, not even a single word, and that's okay. As I was working on myself, I became stronger and more aware of myself and the people around me. God is good.

[lgr]

Hi Nick, I appreciate your channel and the time to take to make your videos so much, they have kept me sane and focused on myself over the last month.

I started doing NC even before I knew it was a thing. I did it out of the love and respect, I felt for him.

After a year of relationship, he told me that he loved me but he wasn't in love with me and he would want us to stay friends. I read that as he wanted to explore if the grass is greener out there and would like to keep me as a friend, just in case.
I told him that I couldn't be his friend as I was in love with him and I will need to take my time and space to heal and move on.

I have been in NC for 5 weeks, he has reached out 3 times. The first one was one week into NC, Friday night asking how I was. I replied the next day being courteous and letting him know I was ok and thanked him for asking.

He reached out again on week 4 asking me again how I was doing and we chat a little bit, very casual, and without me engaging in asking him questions.

He reached out one more time on Saturday (week 5) with the most random message telling me that I should check out an art exhibition in town. Again, I replied by being friendly, thanking him for the recommendation and not asking him further questions.

I have been working hard on myself, going to the gym 4-5 times a week, taking dance lessons, reading new books and making again photos and videos to share on Social Media (one of my old passions). He has been watching everything I post almost immediately.

I don't know where things are going to go, I don't know why he keeps reaching out with out-of-the-blue suggestions, and I don't even know if I still would like him back because now I know that what we had doesn't exist anymore. So, I will keep listening to your videos and patiently wait for so many answers that eventually will come to my mind.

And thanks again Nick for becoming my lighthouse during these uncertain times.

[ponokunishima]

I don’t think I’ll be in another relationship, just because I only want to work on myself and simply because I was very attached to my ex and she was attached to me as well.

[haloyo]

But rebounds only delay the grief right? Do you see rebounders reaching back out more or people who do not rebound?

[kevinchadwick]

Been with my ex for 2 years we had 1 fight got arrested last year got caution she took me back and this year we was up and down again and she ended up wanting space in August found her with another man when she said she still loved me and wasn't going to date for a why now since I found her with another man in her house she's got a injunction on me. She keeps blocking me and never tells the truth on what I actually brought to the table. What should I do ???

[gelgoorx]

Nick do these stages apply if they monkey branched and cheated at the very end?

[elinlarsson]

my ex had the grief directly after he dumped me… didnt eat and was very sad… is the process different then?

[chevy]

Nick, can you have a video on when she says I break up because You did not give me enough attention? Can this be true?? with all the love I have for her, I cannot believe that I did not give her enough care!

[jackjames]

My question is if an ex was in rebound or monckey branching they will never go back ?

[Spoonpluggg]

what if I tried to contact them for my clothes back she still has my clothes and tells me *what makes you think I have all of that* then a day later she tells my friend she still has everything.. she also has a new guy but keeps it a secret she has him labeled as part 2.. she tells everyone she's not talking with anyone when she is..

[gagsjjmomom]

can you do video about day 45 of no contact becouse, according to coach lee it is when break up anxiety USALLY happens.

[robpz]

Mine suddenly dropped me in a text. Her words were I'm a "selfish monster. we're so f'in over. " completely blocked me everywhere. I'm good. I'm over it. It's funny how you said they build you up to be a monster. That's exactly what she did. After a week, I reached out, not to be desperate but to reconcile. Still ice cold that was my final and Last attempt to reach her. Funny how she left me unblocked on twitter. She knows I view her Twitter. It's Been about 17 days since the breakup.

[Bbctechspecialist]

Thanks Nick, breakups can be a catalyst for immense growth for the dumpee, but is it the same for the dumper? I won’t be where I am today without my first ex dumping me

[garethgates]

Hi Nick, I am currently in NC.

My ex left me almost 4 months ago, she had a LOT of stuff at my place and I keep finding extra bits and bobs. I thought I got rid of the last of it but I just found something that I know she was looking for for a while - I told her it wasn't here as I thought it wasn't but I just found it under my bed.

Do I message her asking if she wants it back?

I recently about two weeks ago messaged a mutual friend about something else she had here - didn't contact her, just dropped it at the friends place for her to collect. I just don't want it to look like I am purposely drip feeding her possessions back as a way of getting to her so I'm not sure I want to do that again.

FYI the breakup situation, if you can be bothered to read but it's long so that's okay if you can't; She broke up when she clearly wasn't sure about breaking up, I think her anxiety got to her, we were in a rough patch and felt the spark had gone a little but we both said we wanted to work on things - around a week later she broke up with me over text - we had broke up once before around a year ago because we had an argument and I lost my temper (although this was a fake breakup) I begged a lot to start with an eventually gave up, she behaved very weirdly, but she got in touch after around 6 weeks and we talked things through and got back together. This time around I didn't beg at all, which I think shocked her a bit, as when I tried to go into no contact she got very angry at me for not talking things through with her. I eventually did, I said I wasn't going to ask for her back, she cried and got upset but I thought we both left things on good terms.

About a week later she got angry at me again because we both went to the same place (she knew I was going) and she left because she got upset (she had fallen out with a mutual friend) and I suspect she was also a little upset about seeing me there. This was around 1 month after the BU. We spoke on the phone and I said if she was still upset in a few weeks then she should message me and we should talk, which never happened.

Around 2 weeks later (6 weeks since BU) she turned up in the same place as me again, knowing I was there due to mutual friends. She spent the whole night dancing around me and our mutual friends talking to everyone but me, and when we did speak it was quite cold. I then went to a friends place afterwards, which she tried following me back to, but the guy who's place we were at said she coudn't come due to there being too many people already.

Around 2 weeks later again (8 weeks since BU) she then messaged my flatmate about some stuff I still had of hers, wanting it back. At this point I thought we were okay and on good terms since our chat so I thought it was odd she didn't just message me directly as we would have to interact for me to give it her back anyway. I messaged her saying I hope she's doing okay and I would get it over to her next week since she needed it. She was extremely cold and argumentative about how we left things, I explained I thought we were on good terms but she was annoyed I hadn't reached out to her.

When I gave her the stuff back I wasn't sure how she was going to be with me, and all I wanted was to be on good terms, so in preparation that she was going to be angry at me I wrote her a letter - not saying to get back together with me - but to explain that I understood why she was upset (she felt I had iced her out of the group because all our mutual friends are closer to me than her, which sort of did happen because naturally they sided with me after the breakup, but this wasn't my fault), so I said I understood why this upset her and explained my side of things that it wasn't right for her to get angry at me for wanting space after she broke up. I made it clear I was happy to move on and that I did't want to be with someone that didn't want to be with me.

I wrote the letter in anticipation that we weren't going to talk as she was angry, but we did end up having a talk in person when I gave her stuff, it was for a few hours - she kept flitting between being extremely flirty with me, bringing up inside jokes and memories, and then going to being angry at me for various things, which I listened to her and explained my perspective on, and then between the two. Bare in mind she hadn't read the letter yet. All in all I listened to her a lot and we both left in a good mood.

Upon reading the letter she got back to me, and was very happy. I signed off the letter saying that I wasn't expecting a reply, but at the same time I don't want her to feel like I was having the last word, so if she wanted to respond I would hear her out. I asked that if she was to respond, then to take time and reflect on things before she did. She told me that she would respond but she said she would take her time like I said.

She then flirted with me over text for a few days (like really fucking flirting) but then the conversation died so I didn't bother replying. Like two weeks later she text me out the blue saying she saw something funny on holiday about an inside joke we had - we had a boring text conversation after this but it didn't go anywhere so I left it again. Around a week after our boring text convo, it was my birthday and I figured she would say something, but she didn't which I thought was odd that she would message about something pointless a week earlier but nothing on my actual birthday.

Fast forward just over a month from the letter and around 3 weeks since her pointless text, it's her birthday (I didn't message) but she does turn up to where I am again (surprise surprise) she knew that my mutual friends were going and when I saw her last in person she said she wasn't going to this place on her birthday, so she must have changed her mind. I saw her briefly and we had a chat, I was looking great, with new friends, and I had since got a promotion at work. We chatted briefly about what we had been up to but not much, didn't speak to her for the rest of the night. She didn't dance around or interact with our mutual friends much this time however, although the place we were in was huge so didn't bump into her as much.

It's now been almost four months since the breakup, two months since I gave her the letter and six weeks since she last reached out to me directly. I am trying to move on but the fact that she said she would respond to the letter but is taking her time is making it difficult.

Again back to the subject of her stuff, I know she wants it back and I think it would be immature to keep contacting her friends and I don't want it to look like I keep doing this intentionally as a way of getting to her indirectly. Do I just message her and be very formal about her collecting it, or would that be considered breaking no contact? I'd like to say just fuck her but I know she is looking for it and I thought it was lost, I have only just found it in my apartment whilst clearing things out - she can't ask for it back herself as she doesn't even know I have it.

[ahmedkotby]

Hello I really need your advice on this matter when me and my ex broke up she said let's love each other as, friends and I was like ok what ever after this 1 week later I tried to convince her to fix things but she just said she wasn't having feelings and next day sent a clean slate message and she replied nicely and it's been 8 days and both of us are silent for 8 days, do I send her a text saying the Being friends is a bad idea or do I just keep staying silent and act like she is not my friend? ?