Unhappy and unmotivated...

Have you ever felt unmotivated to workout? Have you ever just wanted to unfollow every “motivational” social media account because you are tired of seeing everyone hit their fitness goals when you can barely get enough willpower to get your butt off the couch? Have you ever gone into a binge eating episode only to finish feeling drenched with guilt? I have been there too. I get you. In this first episode of Dear Cassey, I am going to share my personal experiences with you and my advice for anyone going through these fitness struggles right now!

...and just so you know, Dear Cassey is an advice column that I started on my blog that I’m hoping will turn into a series on YouTube! If you have a burning question you would like featured in a future episode or blog post, please leave it in the comments!!

Today's featured letter:

Dear Cassey,

I'm hoping for some advice or maybe just some feedback to help me with understanding my current situation and motivation. I'm overweight, and I always have been. I'm unhappy with how I look, and I hate taking pictures because I've totally let myself go (worse than I already was). I'm at my heaviest and know I need to do something about it... but for some reason, I don't have motivation? I go to the gym and stop workouts early. I start workout videos and sit on my butt instead of doing the moves. I binge eat even though I know how bad it is for me.... if I'm so unhappy, why am I not more driven to do something about it? Where can I find some motivation? Right now I'm just finding all of the motivational accounts I follow UNmotivating and disheartening, because I see others doing it and putting in the effort, and I'm just not. What's wrong with me?!

Sincerely,
Unhappy and Unmotivated




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Cassey Ho is an award-winning fitness instructor, entrepreneur and online personality. As the creator behind Blogilates, the #1 female fitness channel on YouTube, she’s transformed millions of lives through helping them achieve their strength and weight-loss goals. She focuses on making fitness fun and the results are evident. Cassey's unique format, POP Pilates©, which launched as a workout video on YouTube in 2009, has become a live fitness class that can be taken at gyms all over the world with over 3,000 POP Pilates classes being taught monthly. Her authenticity continues to shine through, making her one of the most relatable fitness icons online and beyond. She's also the author of the best-selling book, Hot Body Year Round and is the designer of her own activewear line, POPFLEX.

With a wide range of free workout videos available, Cassey's channel focuses on ab exercises, butt & thigh exercises, arm exercises, pilates, cardio routines, fat burning workouts, high intensity interval training workouts (HIIT), stretching and flexibility routines and so much more!


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DISCLAIMER:

Blogilates and oGorgeous Inc. strongly recommend that you consult with your physician before beginning any exercise program.

You should be in good physical condition and be able to participate in the exercise.

You should understand that when participating in any exercise or exercise program, there is the possibility of physical injury. If you engage in this exercise or exercise program, you agree that you do so at your own risk, are voluntarily participating in these activities, assume all risk of injury to yourself, and agree to release and discharge Blogilates and oGorgeous Inc. from any and all claims or causes of action, known or unknown, arising out of Blogilates' and oGorgeous Inc.'s negligence.

[michellet]

This is why you’re so dope Cassey you’re just so real and down to earth. Thanks for being an honest and beautiful role model.

[kelseygreen]

I really enjoyed the message of “finding your why” and having a strong purpose of a healthy lifestyle. I used to want to only workout to get thin and that was so unsustainable! Now I’m focusing on moving my body and listening to what I really need. If I don’t want to do an intense workout, fine I’ll go on a walk or stretch. If I want to get super sweaty and kick my own butt, I’ll do that! This has brought on the best, most attainable results for me. Thank you very much Cassey for your videos, I’m so glad I stumbled upon this channel. I literally could not have done it without you 💕💕

[chickensoupfordinner]

It also sounds like the writer may be struggling with some depression. As someone who is a couple months into dragging themselves out of a no motivation depression hole, small things that I could turn into habits and build on really helped and I mean like “go for a 15 minute walk” small. Once it was a habit I could increase it and small enough to do everyday helped me get started, I agree totally with figuring out your why as well.

I also had to learn to forgive myself, started keeping a gratitude journal and writing down one thing I liked about my body every day that I actually believed like “my hair is a nice color” or “I’m glad I can digest dairy”.

And finally I got to a point where I had enough motivation to seek therapy, which I found helpful. I had to start so small to get any traction and then admit that an inch in the right direction was progress and falling down was part of the process.

[_.-._.-._.-._.-.]

For anyone trying to get into an exercise routine, try just doing a little bit, but do it consistently. Pick a time of day that you know can consistently do something (like right when you wake up or just before a shower or bed) and then start small, really small if necessary.

For instance, in my case I realized that the time right before my shower at night I generally had no interruptions (and I couldn't use the, "but in don't want to get sweaty" because my plan was to shower right after anyway). So I started doing squats before my shower, and I started with doing just 3 squats a day- no more no less. It was a small enough number that I knew I could not talk myself out of it with any seriousness, and I didn't do more than 3 because I knew that if I did more one day, it might make me feel unmotivated the next day because I wasn't as good as the last day. I know this seems really over the top but my goal was to simply make a habit that I could stick to forever. So I did that, and I did it consistently until it became something I just did instead of something I had to force myself do. And then I started adding on, little by little. Adding 5 more squats every month, until now, I do 100 squats a month (I capped it at 100) and lost 50 lbs and now I realize that it's not about losing weight, it's about honoring yourself, and making goals that you can stick to, even if it's just a tiny bit at first, do that little bit every day and you'll see that you can succeed.

[bronte]

I told myself 2020 was the year I was finally going to get fit & in shape. Be the best I could be. Had a action plan and I did it but only for 8 weeks. Looking back, it wasn't my body that needed work but my mental health. I think subconsciously I knew I needed to work on my mental health first and that was why I failed to keep working out. So I took the time to work and improve my metal health. My mind now feels strong & I feel a lot better overall. Like I can take on the world no sweat. I now feel more than ready to take on my body and make it as strong as my mind. Sometimes you need to make little steps before you take a big step.

[Alxesihtdneser]

I really love your personality Cassie. You’ve definitely uplifted my spirits for a long time!

[arcie]

Becoming fit is such a weird journey. Like it’s a balance of fun and discipline while doing your best to implement this into your lifestyle

[inspirenak]

"Your body does so much for you. And you can't just value it just based on the way you look" - this is GOLD. period.

[muococoa]

I was just about to binge eat on Nutella and watch some YouTube videos when I saw that Casey uploaded this video so I took some banana and watermelon instead and now after watching it I’m motivated to do a work out too! I really needed this today, thank you Cassey ❤️

[gabrielam.c]

Something I've learned throughout my fitness journey is that practice makes perfect. Without discipline it's nearly impossible to create healthy habits and routines. I try not to focus so much on the talent needed to look graceful doing a certain move, but on being aware that the more I do it, the better I'll get and, eventually, the more graceful I feel and the easier it'll come to me. We aren't born into perfection, and that's okay! Patience, discipline and self-love were key for me!

[luluisonfire]

Hi Unhappy and Motivated!

I've been where you are, and I totally understand how frustrating it is to be unmotivated to work out. And seeing everyone else be "successful" just compounds your own frustration and lack of self-esteem. But obviously I don't know your personal circumstances, so I can only share my own experience.

I started working out for the sole purpose of losing weight. I ran 3 miles a day, did workout videos that only had a title like "LOSE FAT IN 10 MINUTES", and dieted by restricting calories. I ended up 15 pounds down in 1 month, but with stress fractures, plantar fasciitis, low motivation, fatigue, and an insane hunger for food that wouldn't be satisified no matter how much I binged. I also lost my period, and as a teenage girl that just threw my entire hormonal balance off. What I've learned from this whole thing is that working out for the sake of losing weight is unsustainable. "Working out" should make you feel stronger, happier and more alive. If you've accomplished those things, the number on the scale shouldn't matter.


My number one tip is to find a sport you love. Even though running for weight loss gave me a shit ton of injuries, I still love it. I ran track and cross country in high school, and I've made amazing memories and lifelong friends from the team. Finding a sport you love is totally liberating, whether it's running or football or water polo or gymnastics. It also doesn't need to be a competitive sport - I've also gotten into lifting weights and pilates, and feeling myself getting stronger day by day is exhilarating. You can throws ideas like "cardio for weight loss" or "hiit to burn fat" out the window entirely. Your goals are to run faster, get stronger, be more flexible, etc.

Ever since I've separated "exercise" from "weight loss", my life has completely changed. I don't workout to drop pounds on the scale, but sometimes that happens naturally because I do train intensely from time to time. When I do need to lose weight, it's for the sake of performance, not to conform to society's beauty standards. For example, I'm training for a 10k right now, and losing weight does help with endurance and speed. So I increase my training load (gradually) and eat less nutrient-dense "junk food" a few times a week. The weight just comes off naturally, as my performance goes up.

It's the same thing with eating. For me, food isn't a demon that causes me to gain weight. I eat food to fuel my workouts, which sometimes means upping calories. Before a long run or intense training session, I eat a ton of carbs. After strength training, I need to get in some protein. Food is so important to us, both for energy and our overall happiness in life. So whenever I'm at a party or out with friends/family, I just let myself eat, whether that's cake, ice cream, or bubble team (yum!) I don't want to miss out on fantastic memories for the sake of losing a few pounds.

My point is, maybe your lack of motivation is from the idea of "losing weight" consuming your whole life. That's totally understandable given all the presure from social media and popular culture in general to "lose weight". But losing weight doesn't always make you happy. Getting stronger makes you happy. So try to step back and look at the bigger picture. Instead of exercising or dieting for the sake of losing weight, look at them as tools to live a longer, healthier life. And along the way, your weight will naturally come down. Life is such a long and nuanced journey, and it's so sad to let weight loss dictate every aspect of it. Hopefully this helps, and best of luck on your journey! <3333

[haseena]

I love that you have brought 'Dear Cassey' to Youtube. You are phenomenal. Over the years you have always been one of my go-to people 💖

[Saena]

That "finding your why" is SO important, and my mind went to the same place yours did when I read this person's message. If the reasoning for trying to work out is "I know I have to do this because I'm heavy"...that's not gonna be a very effective motivator. "I'm doing this because I feel like I have to" is not empowering! The person says they hate their body, and that might be at the root of them wanting to make a change, but self-consciousness and low self-esteem are also very rarely going to be effective long-term motivators. Almost anything that's focused on what you *don't* want or you *don't* like is not going to fuel you. You absolutely have to think about what moves you and drives you, and find an aspect of this new thing (in this case, workouts) that feeds into that existing drive. For me, I like the feeling that exercise centers me in my body and clears my mind. There are other non-exercise things I already do that accomplish that, but if I want to be consistently motivated to exercise, that's the "why" I have to tap into.

[asstrid]

this is what i needed the most at the moment! lemme crie my eyes out, wow, cassey, i'm emotional. a few months back i've had a low point because of many things happening at the time. before that i was in a great mindset with myself and when it happened, i struggled to find myself and now i try to find my way back to myself and often question myself if this is right path for me. i really needed to hear that, thank you, cassey.

for the writer - Unhappy and Unmotivated, i'd say that you're not alone and you should do your things in your own pace because you don't have to compare yourself with other people, you're beautiful and wonderful. you're not alone in this and let's try do our best and feel good with whatever brings us joy.

[priscillaleung]

Love this very much! Cassette, you’re so true and loving.everyone here is comforted by your kind words when you say “it’s okay to...”. It frees us from the guilty feeling. A BIG hug to you! 🥰

[zandtaartjex]

I really love how Cassy is all about finding your why, and finding out what you love, whether it's pilates or not. During this pandemic, I found Cassy and I fell in love with pilates, but it also made me realize that I love running and dancing, and that I should do that too. Thank you Cassy for getting me through this pandemic and getting me in my best mental shape <3

[maggiez]

I love how you broke this down and removed the judgement from Unhappy and Unmotivated's letter. I've been feeling a lot of the same things lately and it helps to hear that actions aren't good or bad they just are what the are. You also inspired me to re examine my "why" for exercise and write it down. Thanks!!

[emmaharrison]

Something I’ve found that’s really helpful for just gaining confidence in life is to set little tiny goals and then actually following through with them. Like going for a 10 minute walk or doing 5 minutes of some small workout each day. As you prove to yourself you can do small manageable things that you told yourself you would do your confidence will increase and that motivation will start to come back!

[gabriellescott]

Tbh when I feel very unmotivated I think of your videos. Those moments when you say "You're gonna feel amazing after" or "it's only 10 minutes but most people don't get out of the couch" it's really encouraging

[mystuff]

I didn’t know how badly I needed this til after I watched it. THANK YOU CASSEY!! Love from Texas!