Overcoming Childhood

Our childhoods have a deep and often seriously troubling impact on our adulthoods; what happened at 5 will still be colouring how things are for us at 55. It's something we need to learn to adjust to.

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with Marc Moynihan.

[itsmatt]

Years ago a wise man in his 60's told me "it took me the first 50 years just to get over the first 50 years." Didn't fully realize what he was te]talking about at the time but now, at 45, I'm beginning to understand.

[handcrafted]

A child who is not embraced by his village, will burn it down just to feel it’s warmth.

[SuperGreatSphinx]

"For in every adult there dwells the child that was,
and in every child there lies the adult that will be."

― John Connolly, The Book of Lost Things

[fazrielrayyan]

Im an 11 year old and when i think of growing up i cried.because seeing your parents get older and older while we are still alive that...hurts

[LittleMissSims]

So basically this is telling me I can never get over my childhood and be a happier person

[alexz]

I don't know if I agree. Growing older and getting better is what it's all about. I feel better everyday I learn how to handle my emotions.

[Emmagicalife]

This makes a lot of sense! I was bullied as a child and still feel to this day how much it has shaped and effected my life each and everyday I still feel the pain of what happened to me. Even if i know my bullies didn't really understand what they were doing, they were just kids too back them and probably had problems themselves. Even when I know all this, I still do not get over it. It feels so heavily ingrained into myself, and I can see the way it effects me in so many different ways and circumstances that I live my day to day life. It hurts when the people closest to me will tell me to just 'get over' it as though it was that simple, I really wish it was and there was some way to do so? I fear i am going to grow old and become a miserable bitter old women, alone and cold inside. I feel like I may have developed mental disorders because of it, I'm always pushing people away, and feel afraid to get close to anyone like they will hurt me, and it feels like no body likes me even my best friends and family when i know realistically that is not true.

[nathanael]

For all of you that felt helpless after watching this video, know that our brains are very plastic and to change IS possible, no matter your age.
Learn about Carol Dweck's research in fixed mindset / growth mindset.

I love School of Life, but sometimes their obsession with Freud is annoying.

[aaron-]

I used to be socially anxious. I turned that around completely. I'm sorry but we can change whatever we want, the past hasn't decided anything for me.

[exortus]

my childhood is horrible, getting bullied and threatened because i have physically deformed leg. No one will understand what that person gone through, its still haunting me until today. So dont talk about forget it and move on, said easier than done.

[tkentertainment]

i cant see the nose on the forehead as a nose :/

[mirandanandamariavandijk]

I am convinced that we can overcome a hard childhood. It's wanting, willing and doing whatever it takes to know ourselfes and go in theraphy to feel what needs to be felt to free ourselfes. I did that and i am sure many of us can if we are willing to go through the pain and become responsible for our own happiness and start living in the now. The light and happinezz is within us. Remove the dark layer. Good luck!

[jaynick]

I do think childhood trauma has made me a stronger and more liberated person. When you realize the callousness and evilness of humanity and the willingness to destroy someone at a very early age, it gives you a green light to do basically whatever you want under the restrictions of the law.

I no longer feel bad about accidentally hurting people that don't deserve to be treated kindly, and I've learned to handle disrespect by setting my own rules in areas where teamwork is demanded or required. I don't believe in traumatizing children, but I've come to learn that there's potential for those that experienced trauma early on to be stronger than the rest of society which can be a tremendous asset later in life.

[JimmyDThing]

I like this a lot, but don't like the implication that there's nothing you can do to change this about ourselves.

What you describe it calling for at the end can also be applied to ourselves in a way that helps us move on from these.

[shafinaalmatisha]

it was when i turned 20, i finally made peace with my past. ive only just forgiven my biological father for never being there for me. (divorced parents). and his family for never contacting me, not until 2 years after my father's death. he lost to cancer. i got a phone call from his fam. not even a face to face meeting. ive also forgiven my biological mom for passing away early in her 30s, becase she didn't take good care of her health. raising me by herself, she was always working. barely have time for me. even now im still a little conflicted when i see people with 'proper' family. at times i didnt know how to act 'properly' in social settings. the way i was raised made me somewhat emotionally unavailable. but thanks to psychology and my will to learn, im overcoming my childhood and living a better life now. for those ppl who are struggling in life due to their childhood, im here, and i want u to know its possible. keep on learning and living, life's great when you live it positively ♡

[cheffington]

This is totally off the mark. Changing your paradigms and thought processes is actually very doable

[NawafRabah]

It is really frightening that us no matter how old we are, are the product of our childhood. To have the ability to achieve everything and yet settle for nothing. It really makes me feel sad, lonely and above all helpless. This video as many in this amazing channel points out the problem in a very firm and magnificent way, then they just hint for the solution.

[misterosc]

I don't think the noses are working, a bit of an odd design choice

[Brandon-a-writer]

I've followed your work for a while Alain, and this channel was invaluable in the writing of my book on a historical tour guide of philosophy, going from one era to another, meeting the various important artists, philosophers, and social critics from throughout history to bring back their wisdom to apply to the philosophical and ethical problems of the modern world. The way you present the information is superb, monsieur. Thanks for giving the YouTube community a great (and important) channel.

[charleshurstreinvention]

The key word in this video being "overcome." Something I told my own subscribers this week. As I see this daily as a healthcare provider. People who are destroyed adults because they couldn't outrun a terrible childhood. Too many times this becomes the excuse to give up. The reason someone won't try. "Because this (fill in the blank) happened to me." Now understand I am not discounting terrible childhoods. I had one as well. What I am saying is that the world doesn't care. It is totally indifferent. It may owe you but good luck trying to collect. The only way to collect your due is to go out and seek it, pursue it and take it back from the universe. The stories of great triumph are rarely without great adversity--ever notice that? Most will lie down to bad circumstances. But those who get up and fight back will insure that their story is a great one. Hope this helps someone out there---keep being great---Charles.