Finding Happiness: How Forgiving my Mother Radically Changed My Life | Sonia Weyers | TEDxFHNW

How can forgiving someone close to you completely change your life? This TEDx Talk portrays the struggles of a child who felt unloved by her mother and how forgiving the most important people in her life led her to deep fulfillment.
With a Ph.D. from Stanford Business School and an Executive Masters in Consulting and Coaching for Change from INSEAD, Sonia now works as a happiness catalyst, an author and a Gestalt-therapist. She leads people to find more happiness and well-being by helping them let go of the past and build a brighter future.
In her TEDx Talk "Finding happiness: How forgiving my mother radically changed my life" she shares the most important lessons she learned on her journey from emptiness to happiness.

[mariemonroe]

“I was looking for my mother’s love in everyone”

[nsh]

Believe it or not, I looked for my mothers love in EVERYONE and I mean everyone. I was only 13 and because of this neglect I felt, I reached out to literally anyone I could find. I end up in many horrible situations where people (mostly men) took advantage of me in ways unspeakable. I was only 13. I hear what she is saying but, it is so incredibly hard to forgive the woman that is supposed to love, care, protect, and nurture you. So incredibly difficult. I am 31 years old now, and still healing….

[jackiejackson]

This was wonderful. It really touched my heart as I am contemplating whether I should call my mom or not. She’s has hurt me much but I’m contemplating. God knows my heart!

[TheInimitableMissP]

Thank you Sonia, this talk has given me some hope. It would be much easier if it had just been my childhood and my mother had always been the same way, but throughout my life there’s been a cycle of years where she’s incredibly loving and caring, and years when she seems to want nothing to do with me, without any reason. As a result I’ve recently pulled out of the relationship altogether; it’s too painful to give so much fur nothing in return, especially when she doesn’t have this problem with my sister. But you’re right that we have a choice to forgive and I’ll try to focus on moving towards that mindset. Thank you again 💛

[nokuno]

I resonated so deeply with your story Sonia, as my own relationship with my mother is so similar. I have a memory that is frighteningly similar to the story you told at the start of your talk, I ended up crying like a baby because it felt like I was reliving that time in my life. I've never felt so seen and heard as I did after hearing your story. The way you handle difficult relationships in your life gives me hope there is another way. My gratitude goes out to you for helping me realize that I do not have to hold on to the hurt, and that I have the choice to forgive and let go💚💚

[HenryC]

I really admire your resilience. I can not forgive my parents for years and years of abuse

[cutesong]

I am so glad that i forgive my mother very early(early 20s) in my life and i am so thankful to god for making me so observing. I love her so much

[inventwithcode]

Wow! Such a genuine and vulnerable talk. Thank you for sharing your story with the world. Your courage is inspiring!

[nagisfootsteps]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am in a middle of accepting who I am and forgiving my parents. I still hold my grudge towards my parents, but I am going to let this go someday soon. It touches me that it took 30 years for you to let it go. It has been for 20 years or more to hold a grudge and resentment in my case and it radiates pain in the body and mind, so it is really time to let my pain go.

[outthemudhd]

Someone has been watching Jesse Lee Peterson. “AMAZIN!!!”. Congratulations Sonia, God has blessed to see the truth and finally live the life he planned for you.

[virginiebodescot]

Thanks Sonia, indeed we can all come to peace with ourselves when we understand that the people we can change is us and that we can adopt a different outlook on things and move on. Your talk is a great illustration of just that!

[vivalila]

Oh gosh, I really needed to hear this. Thank you.

[kenyanfurnishedrentalsllc]

This brought so much tears to my eyes as I struggle to forgive those closest to me that I feel have cause so much pain. From this video I learned that forgiving them is really more for you than them and I want the ability to move on, to let go of that weight and burden. Thank you for this video. ❤

[niaselah]

Just a reminder not everyone's story is the same. Not everyone suffered the same nor with the same support and tools. It's different to forgive lack of capacity or being different than abuse. The consequences of the suffering are different too. It is not the same to forgive something in the past and having the chance to start a fresh chapter than having to live a life limited by what you endured. I still believe forgiveness is important. We tend to internalize the way we are treated specially during formative years. When we have been abused we internalize it. We don't love and treat ourselves the way we deserve and it is not our fault. Forgiveness for me is more about forgiving you for not having been able to treat yourself better

[pjsanchez]

I would not shed a tear. There is no human love for this woman who carried me in her womb. I can only love her in spirit at this time.

[frostmc]

I listened to this a year and 6 months ago and sobbed became i felt so understood but feared I would never be able to forgive my father, but over the months, I've thought back to these 11 minutes over and over and ive forgiven my father, and allowed him back into my life with an understanding of how to keeo my feelings from being hurt. I'm also now in my first health relationship and thriving

[hobbytreyi]

This video is so good..!! I'm so happy I found it. I can relate to it in many many levels.

I decided that my mother will always be unhappy and will find faults with everything that i do so it's better not try to gain her love, cz she is incapable of love.
Therefore, i must do whatever i want and keep myself happy and not stop myself for her. I choose me today and everyday!

Please don't let the negative emotions corrode to internally. It's not your fault. You deserve love and understanding and acceptance. Love yourself, please. Take care!! 💓

Therapy really helps. If you have less pain tolerance, with therapy and healing the physical pain tolerance increases as well. Even my period cramps lessened and became much bearable.
Expressing your true-self is the first step to get acceptance for who you are.

[thecoherentrambling]

This is wonderful. I’m going through something similar again in life that too while I’m pregnant. I guess you are right, my needs are my needs, my parents are suppose to satisfy them but still they are mine. I’m not yet ready to let go of this feeling of anger and occasional sadness but will do soon for my own sake. Thanks for sharing.

[raquelfloris]

Thank you so much Sonia. This definitely helped me. I think I will save the video to watch when I feel any resent again.

[charleshurstreinvention]

This is the truth. This week for my own subscribers I talked about forgiveness and kindness--and how it makes you better. In a nutshell forgiveness eventually sets you free--as the adage states. But what they don't tell you is it doesn't just happen the second you try it. And yes there are some things that may be unforgiveable. But the important thing--for you is that you try.