The Real Risk of Forgiveness–And Why It’s Worth It | Sarah Montana | TEDxLincolnSquare

[aubreyalvarez]

“Choosing myself was more important than being right”. That hit me.

[lyssphan]

“Forgiveness is a designed to set you free. When you say I forgive you, what you’re really saying is, I know what you did it’s not okay but I recognize that you are more than that. I don’t want to hold us captive to this thing anymore. I can heal myself and I don’t need anything from you.”

Damn

[megalosauru]

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis B. Smedes

[moniopolis]

This idea of "too soon to forgive" takes all the pressure off that I never knew I had

[kkurova]

My boyfriend was murdered by his dad, and he hasn't had his trial yet. I'm not ready to forgive, but this video gave me hope that some day I might be.

[jonathanbowens]

One of the most perfect Ted talks I've ever seen. I love how you poured your heart into it while combining humor and intelligence. And still being deep and keeping us focused on your story. I'm sharing. Bravo madam.

[LamNguyen-xhrb]

"Forgiveness is only right when waiting for what we're owed comes at too high a cost"

[Achiaa.]

"When we choose vengeance, we're actually signing a blood oath to chain our story to our enemy" deep.

[stillnessspeaks]

This is the best talk on forgiveness I have ever heard. I was struggling to forgive some people in my life terribly. Thank you so much for the talk.

[cindyfarrimond]

Wow! This talk is amazing. It took me 60 years to forgive my father. That's a long time to have a hook in you.

[goodgrief]

“You think that forgiveness is a shortcut to healing.” Yep. And I’ve found that there are a lot of bad therapists out there who go right to forgiveness as if that will magically solve all of life’s problems, without even giving one a chance to talk about what it is that happened that you might need to be so gracious as to forgive. But yeah, how do I get there? I needed to move through my anger first. Sorry if that makes people uncomfortable 🤷‍♀️

[CheezeTank]

This is the most powerful TED Talk I’ve ever watched.

[wise-up-parenting]

Extremely moving, and poetically delivered, filled with inspiring metaphor, wisdom, and a refreshing new way to understand the grieving process. Thank you!

[IawakenedOne]

Sarah, I cannot thank you enough. The contrast of my pain against yours and the undeniable expression of thorough comprehension through the embodiment of truth has brought a clarity I have yet to truly know. You didn't just save yourself; you saved a piece of humanity with this video. From the center of my existence, Thank You.

[jasminnairobi]

I’ve seen a lot of ted talks. This was the most inspiring I’ve ever seen.

[noreenvance]

I've tried to encapsulate this amazing talk for those of us who need the visual.
The world gives us three reasons we need to forgive:
1. Forgiveness will make me a good person.
2. There is a lot of pressure to forgive, so they can feel more comfortable and move on.
3. You think forgiveness is a short-cut to healing.

None of these are true so why forgive? It brings us freedom from the chains that bind us to the trauma and the other person. Vengeance is another form of prison; it entwines us with the other person.
In order to forgive we have to get very specific because we can not forgive something that did not happen to us.
Looking at our wounds is scary but "do it" as this lets us scar over and heal once we look at the injustice. We need to get clear about what exactly was unjust so that when we choose to forgive we know exactly what contract we are tearing up.
"Forgiveness is only right when waiting for what we are owed comes at too high a cost."
Life is simpler when we have a villain to fight.
Real forgiveness let's go of all expectations, let's go of a villain, you can't expect a certain outcome. It is too soon to forgive if you are still in the throws of grief, pain and trauma. Forgiveness is worth it!

[jonathanchow]

Thanks Sarah. I can't forgive my dad for the past and though I am still not able to, I now know why, and in time, maybe I can. I cried watching this.
I cant tell you how much your share helped me.

[growwithsonia]

How does this video not have millions of views? This woman spoke not just her heart out but ultimate truth. Wouldn't be exaggerating if I said she taught me many lessons on how to live today and forever. God bless you always ♥️

[EB-mtte]

"To get free you have to get super specific about what exactly it is that you’re forgiving because you cannot forgive something that didn’t happen to you……..the family cannot forgive murders because they were not killed, they can only forgive the pain, anguish and grief that the loss caused them. This was a jackpot moment for me, I had to compartmentalize my damage"

[joi]

Sarah, baby, this was church...God Bless & thank you for sharing your story. Your bravery is helping more ppl than you know🙌🏽