Advice for supporting autistic children with ADHD – presented by Purple Ella

In this short video, autistic advocate and content creator Purple Ella shares insights and strategies for supporting autistic children who also have ADHD. From emotional regulation to managing routines, Ella draws on their own experience as someone with both conditions, and as a parent of children with both conditions.

This video was created by Clinical Partners for the NHS. The series is part of autism unlocked - a dedicated space for autistic people and their families to receive expert advice and guidance on a range of issues.

About Purple Ella:

Visit the autism unlocked website:

Find out more about Clinical Partners:

[NotAyFox]

This may sound a bit odd, but in the great scheme of things, I'd like to see ADHD and Autism incorporated into one unified spectrum, because there's so much overlap in these two neuro-types that it's not unimaginable that they may be reclassified as a new ADHD+Autism spectrum, once we shed the shackles of the medical model for both.

[amandasymon]

Emotional regulation 🤯 Love the idea of helping to manage their emotions by getting them involved in noticing in advance before things escalate - Thank you 🙏

[kranx]

Thats beautifully said. I have never had children. But through relationships or family members iv loved mentoring them or showing them lessons. I quite honestly think iv found my passion today and this is something ill bring to my gfs nephew whom iv known since birth. Hes having trouble now with a chaotic family but im trying to teach him all kinds of social structures abd ways to adapt because i see him as my younger self going through unimaginable things. This is what fatherhood must feel like and im excited

[robynedward]

I notice different things with my children. I'm looking into it because my son is hyper sensitive tantrums when he doesn't like when he has to read out loud example. It ends up being a melt down it's difficult to handle he's 11. Imagine trying to learn different ways of teaching him for school nope he won't try a lot of resistance.

[Servel]

I wonder if this video has more pause-rewind than most. I definitely was able to pay attention the whole time and didn't have to rewind...

[srayec.]

Great information! Any advice on how to help them retain new information? I use repetition but not sure how long or often to review the same things.

[doj]

What if you’re having difficulty learning. My 14 yr old is struggling in school and I don’t know what to do.

[loisrobinson]

Thank you so much for making this excellent video!

[jimiwills]

Nobody has been able to label my emotions adequately (including me) so how am I supposed to teach that to my kids?

[shoobror]

Watched this full video without hearing a word cuz I was too distracted trying to figure out your age

[theghcu]

[tl;dr Index] TOP: about me, BOTTOM: suggestions

I got diagnosed with ADHD @23. Got diagnosed this year, in my forties, ADHD (confirmation) and ASD. Before anyone says it, I remember waves of kids in middle school and jr high getting ADHD diagnosed in school. I would like to have been evaluated as a kid. I would like to have learned what I have from youtube as a kid. Nope, I was considered "gifted" so all of my issues were just my fault, and yes here in the US that is exactly how it is treated. There is no 'help' for me at this age at all here in Texas, just youtube. Here are some of my specifics that I have figured out just in case someone else can benefit from them.


about me:


* I have many hypersensitivities. Light, sound, smell, taste, proximity to people, touch / pressure / texture (external, ) pain, and interoception. I have a high pain tolerance, if I say I'm ok or good, I'm referring to my ability to endure it not the intensity. My interoception is a mixed bag. As for the proximity to people, that feeling you get when someone is standing over your shoulder, I get that at 12 to 15 feet away all the time. I always feel crowded and surrounded, everywhere, all the time. I would rate my sensitivities at about a 7 or 8 out of 10, unless I'm jumping into meltdown, then they jump to 11 (thanks ADHD.)


* Getting used to something even mildly annoying or irritating, is not the same for me as for most people from what i've seen. It looks like most people get accustomed to it, then stop noticing most of the time. For me I am always painfully aware of it, constantly trying to distract myself from it or otherwise actively ignoring it, all the time pretending everything is normal.

* Every emotion has a very physical response. The physical sensations at an emotional level of 3 out of 10 all feel exactly the same as a 10. What varies is not the sensation, but my ability to focus and control myself. When most people are getting snippy or argumentative, I have already been restraining the body impulse to get physical for a while. This is not good for meltdowns, and is why I try to walk away while others are still trying to argue.

* I would say that somewhere between 2/3 and 3/4 of my "temper" issues in my life were actually meltdowns. If I hand known sooner, I probably could have avoided most of them, or at least got away from people before losing control.

* I don't think I am capable of experiencing any sense of accomplishment.

* If you see a kid that is good at entertaining themselves, and by themselves, look closer. It can take months or years to find a friend, but it only takes day(s) to realize you are not wanted or don't belong.

* If a kid enjoys answering questions in class and sharing knowledge, pay more attention to their WORDS. Saying good job, immediately followed by don't get cocky or arrogant every single time is not helpful. It's ok to ask them to let others participate too if needed, but the second half of the prior statement is an accusation whether you meant it or not. It will be understood as shut up and don't participate, you're not good enough to be a part of us.

* Trying harder as a remedy for difficulty focusing is only slightly helpful. While encouraging the stick to it approach is good, the issues focusing are much bigger than they seem on the outside. Try getting jumped by five people at once, then immediately stepping in front of a stadium full of people all ready to literally stone you, and try to thread the smallest sewing needle you can find with the softest thread without the pull tab thing while everyone watches you and hits you with every miss while the sun is in your eyes.

* Being busy will NEVER keep me from being bored. Boredom is inversely proportional to interest. There is no negotiation to be had in this. In 40+ years, this has never changed. Yes, I have tried far more than you will ever believe.

* I need to know what to generally expect from a day. I can roll with most punches, but big or sudden changes to my day mess me up bad.

* I tend toward what i'll call micro rituals. Each task has an order or ritual. If that gets messed up i can lose track of where i am, or get very upset.

* I tend to need a goal or task pool instead of an ordered list. I can prioritize to a degree, but I need to be able change tasks or take breaks, sometimes frequently, to stay productive.

* I require both the big picture and the fine details to do a thing. Without both I cannot adapt and overcome.

* I learn in layers, but I cannot learn in pieces. My mind works by understanding the way things relate, connect, and interact, not by simply possessing many unsorted facts.

* My mind is a noisy place, like a crowded amphitheater with everyone talking. I am constantly bombarded with thoughts and memories provoked by my environment and the thoughts and memories themselves provoking each other.

* I have days where my mind is going a million miles an hour, but I cannot hold on to a single thought. I call it brain fry. These days are not productive, but I don't get a vote either.

* I have days where I am basically a kite. I am barely tethered to my body, interacting and sensing remotely, and observing time itself from a different place. I am not very communicative on those days, and if you try to snap me back into this moment and this place, it not only hurts, but it will not go well. People tend to think I'm depressed or spaced out, but really, I'm just a peaceful kite. It's not the same as surreal, but similar.

* If I ask a question that seems obvious to you, please answer directly and respectfully. I guarantee I have answered your obvious questions many more times than you think. What is obvious to some, is not to others.

* If my intentions are irrelevant, then so are yours. Neither your popularity nor your authority will alter this. If I have misdirected or expressed my intentions in a less than productive way, I would rather you explain and teach so I can do better in the future.

* Sometimes I get overwhelmed by something, sometimes out of nowhere. My whole body feels unbearably heavy. It takes concentration to breath. It's nearly impossible to speak. I might be able to force out a yes, no, or sorry, but that's it. I usually end up sitting very still and quiet. I stay that way stuck for 30 minutes to an hour. I try to make my way to a quiet and still place. If I understand correctly, this is a shutdown.

* Sometimes my body language is very mismatched to my mood and my thoughts. You will usually be wrong if you think my body language will give you better information than my words. This has been no end of trouble.

* I clearly remember teaching myself to smile convincingly, and practicing other facial expressions in the mirror at age 5 so I could respond the way others wanted me to.


suggestions:


-- be prepared to answer questions, even weird ones.
-- help them out or through meltdowns, and after talk about their experience so they can learn to tell before they have one and get themselves out.
-- body double for them when possible
-- allow for short breaks when doing something they find difficult or boring
-- treat the day more like an outline than a rigid schedule, as long as the required doings are done
-- openly discuss the social nuances to help them spot and read situations they may be blind to or confused about
-- openly discuss the difference between what you experience and think and what they experience and think for any given situation so they can learn how different minds perceive the world
-- make sure they know that being wrong is the beginning of knowledge and understanding, not the end.
-- be willing to teach the goal and process of doing a thing, don't assume they make the same assumptions you do. The whys and hows are required knowledge for adapting to new challenges.
-- understand that the platitudes most people offer are actually lies, even if they are meant to be kind or polite.
-- do not expect unspoken rules to be understood until they are spoken.
-- for heaven's sake, if they tell you they do not know a sport, do not know the rules, do not know how to play, you'll have to teach them; they mean exactly every single bit of it. You cannot expect them to magically psychically know the basics. Listen to their WORDS.

[MaxSteel.KIA]

How about you discipline your children correctly instead of giving them a made up diagnosis to mask their behaviour.