The BEST tip for Parents of Autistic Kids

There's one thing in particular that most autistic adults would have wanted from their parents that could have changed everything. Those that didn't miss out have already shown us how important it is and how much difference it can make for autistic people & our families.

#EngageAutism #AskingAutistics #ActuallyAutistic

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[pennykirk]

I love the uniqueness about my autistic grandson. He is such a blessing to me.

[ericjohnbautista]

My son was diagnosed with high functioning autism when he was 3 years old. And as parents it is devastating but as a father we must accept and love our child’s situation. As my son is growing, I found some traits and habits that are similar with mine when I’m at that age. I don’t know if I’m just introvert but socializing and maintaining a conversation was so difficult for me. I could label myself as socially awkward. I’m used to get bullied as well in my childhood. I have strong sensitivity with someone’s feelings. And also have special interests with prehistoric books back then in our grade school library. I haven’t clinically diagnosed but probably in high chance I’m also an autistic. I’m currently holding a successful job right now as an app developer and happily married to my wife. Wish my son would experience the same thing as he grow old. Will give my 100 support to him as his father.

[MiracleFound]

OMG. It's me. I am the autistic one. My mother would disagree, but I have a horrible time making and keeping friends, I thought that it was because I was a military brat and moved every year. You described my childhood so perfectly. I had to relisten because it sure hit home.

[linden]

I'm late-diagnosed autistic. Part of the reason my parents accepted it quite easily is because my father is too and knows he is...kind of...I think he sees himself as just "a little on the spectrum" and doesn't realise how many of his traits it explains. He was always useful in my life to validate my experience of not liking small talk and gossip, not understanding inauthenticity, etc even before either of us were connected to identity.

(Also likely autistic were my paternal grandfather, maternal grandmother, and paternal grandfather's brother. There's also other forms of neurodiversity - ADHD, dyslexia, etc in my family. We're a mixture!)

[marieugorek]

AMEN!

My mother didn't know she was an autistic ADHDer, but she did this for me. Made all the difference.

[buttercxpdraws]

I can’t even express how much your work means to me Quinn. To have someone provide compassion, understanding and relatability for the first time in my life brings me to tears in many of your videos. Self-acceptance is such a relief after all the decades I’ve lived in confusion and fear. Thank you 🙏

[kikitauer]

I know for a fact that my sister is autistic too. Even though she says it is normal to rock back and forth in the corner when she had a hard day. I believe my mom is autistic too. Her lifestory speaks about how she is different from most of other people. I think my dad was autistic too. But it is too late to ask because he is dead for eighteen years now. When I got diagnosed 2 years ago it changed my life for the better. I would like to help my family too but they don't listen or it is too late. This video really is the best tip for parents or other family members. The diagnosis can be incredibly freeing when you choose to believe it.

[IntrepidIanRinon]

If only I can convince parents of autistic children in where I live. They do not have to just dump their frustrations if they can be open to converse with autistic adults.

Cheers from the Philippines

[lincolntapper]

When parents receive that diagnosis that their child is autistic the doctor should explain that autism is genetic and that we should consider who is autistic in the immediate and extended family. However, the eurocentric/western DSM 5 and the focus on boys in the research means that families from ethnic groups from around the world will struggle to identify who is autistic among their relatives because they will not know what they are looking for because of cultural and social differences. Great video as always Quinn.

[kyleethekelt]

Quinn, you could hardly give greater gifts if you tried. Knowing oneself is the first step to real wisdom: the ability to really see ourselves with all our foibles, flaws and fabulousness brings the kind of liberation of which many sadly appear to have no concept. Thank you for showing us how to be amazing including, rather than despite the above.

[redmustangredmustang]

You got to have the patience of a saint because there some kids that will bit, scratch, and hit and you can't fight back. That's the most frustrating thing is to hold back because you can't lose your temper and punch back. You lose your cool and hit them out of frustration then it won't stop. Sadly it takes patience and working together to help those kids out.

[thelifester]

That’s the first thing I asked myself when my son was flagged for autism. It was a realization really. Oh my gosh, I’m autistic 😮

[Electrowave]

My daughter is autistic and I insisted on being tested myself with my partner and family constantly telling me my daughter is just like me. I turned out to be autistic as well. My daughter and I had a wonderful relationship and it seemed I was the only one who really understood her. I never had a problem with her myself apart from a few difficulties which I managed to work around by putting myself in her shoes. How would I react if my dad was in my shoes and me in my daughter's shoes. Unfortunately things weren't so good at primary school. They didn't have a clue how to handle her and only made things worse. I was constantly called in to to school to calm my daughter down of take her home for a few days. My daughter attacked teachers with biting and using pencils, scissors and classroom furniture as weapons to defend herself. I knew exactly how she was feeling because I went through similar at school myself. Luckily for my I was in a different country and different generation where attitudes were very different. I had to sign paperwork to allow the school staff to pin my daughter down when she got out of hand. Knowing what I know now I would take her out of that school but it's too late now. With that kind of behaviour we had social services called in by the school to "help" us. One problem that stood was that my daughter was never a problem at home, so how was I supposed to help her behaviour if I wasn't around when she kicked off. She claimed she was being bulled by a couple of the pupils, which I believe because she wasn't one to lie to me, but the school staff insisted she was lying because they hadn't noticed anything. They didn't understand that a dirty look from a bully was enough to set my daughter off. Anyway, social services have been involved with out family since, and life is a complete hell now. Social workers with not a clue about how to handle autism, half of them don't have their own children and all are so young and have no life experience, telling me how to bring up my child with whom I don't have a problem myself. She's nearly fifteen and doing fantastically in high school with not a single violent outburst (which tells me a lot about the primary school) but our lives are basically a living hell with the social services in control of everything at the moment. My daughter hates them and usually refuses to speak to them which only makes things worse. They really aren't needed any more because the high school has all the support needed. The behavioural "specialists" and special activities are only attempts at trying to change my daughter into a "normal" person. I call them brainwashing sessions. It looks like we will have to live like this until my daughter is eighteen. I'm currently looking into funding to take them to court as lawyers don't seem to want to take on the case under the legal aid system.

[alanguest]

I've never been a parent, but I recognise the signs of being autistic. The things I have learnt about myself since my diagnosis!

[luciferr]

You just broke down my dam. I'm waiting on a diagnosis for my daughter but have for the longest time thought I might be ADHD. But now that my daughter is being assessed for autism.... I already know that she is autistic, and I am prepared for it. Its the finding out that I might be that might tear my mental health apart.

[treasurechest]

Another forceful and illuminating video, Quinn. Well done! I would love to hear your take on parent and adult child relationship challenges. You touched upon this in your video. I hope you consider it.

[vishal]

Watching this as a parent of an autistic child helped me so much. Thank you for the no nonsense direct explanations.

[drbarney]

My uncle was almost certainly autistic and his parents - my maternal grandparents - sheltered him so he never experienced the world. He fantasized having served in World War II. My parents were told to institutionalize me for life because I was nonverbal before the age of 5 years. But a psychiatrist estimated my IQ somewhere in the 140's to 150 Stanford-Benet. Eventually I earned my PhD in interdisciplinary math and physics later in life. I never achieved a lasting career but I hope my educational accomplishments vindicate my dignity and that of other autistic people. I was not sheltered from the world and it turned out better even though society would always give me a raw deal and try to force me to live in a culture I find morally offensive and fraudulent in its holding its commercial junk culture equal to the arts. I risk violence when I fight back against neighbors forcing their stereo blared shitmusic into my backyard but I consider their culture: sports, TV game shows, American Idol, a life not worth living.

[MrAndywills]

It's the autism scare stories still perpetrated by media and some organisations (probably for financial gains), that make me cringe. I remember the soul searching my wife and I had when we were deciding about the MMR vaccine for the eldest when the media plastered the flawed research by Andrew Wakefield etal. The dangers of our child becoming autistic and how autism means a damaged child with no ability/hope of an independent life. And the irony is, eighteen years later, I get diagnosed autistic at the age of 47years. And my eldest is definitely not autistic. But my wife and I strongly suspect the middle child is, who's currently at university studying creative writing and is a talented artist.

[leilap]

Ooh, I feel so called out! What a great video! If I hadn’t already figured it out and had been diagnosed, I would be realizing it right now!