The Advantages of Long-Distance Relationships

Having a partner far away is normally seen as a curse. It’s time to acknowledge the many advantages of the arrangement as well.

FURTHER READING

“When we hear that a couple live 11 time zones apart and can afford to come together only once in a long while, it’s natural to offer sympathy for the pain. We should more fairly envy them for their luck.
Whatever our longings may indicate, it is simply a lot easier to love someone who isn’t there. Far from an unfortunate necessity, living apart should be recognised for what it truly is: an advantage...”

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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with Martin Stacey

& Neil Evan

[sobrevida]

Many people seem to be missing the subtle, ironic lesson of the video: that is, it is easier to love someone we don't have to live with. We never have to argue about showing up late or where to set the thermostat. And we should take all the 'advantages' and lessons of the long-distance relationship, and apply them to our 'short-distance' relationship. To wit, we should not expect our partners to read our minds, we should communicate with them; we should be kind to our partners; we should appreciate our partners and not take them for granted; we should not romanticise relationships, because a lot of the problems are around silly things like how to hang towels; if we are sad, we shouldn't automatically blame our partners; perhaps we are experiencing sadness among them, not because of them. We should import all these 'advantages' and use them with the people that share our lives right now. Quite profound.

[teddefi]

I've been with my love for 4 long years. It has been a very long lonely road for the both of us but we always stay in contact by Skyping almost every night. Being in a long distant relationship really helps you have a person you love while also being able to build yourself into the person you want to be. My girl and I are happily in love and can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. 3000 miles apart but she's always the closest one to my heart.

[gabney]

Plus, you can fart whenever you want.

[kennethmccormick]

And when you meet, you just go at it like rabbits :D

[deadasfak]

It's also far easier to fake your death

[saekka]

Okay ladies: how effective is the flirting technique that was in the video?

[Mei]

This video makes me smile. Been in a long distance relationship for six years (UK and USA) this October. We're now engaged, and looking to move in together and get married next year. It was long and hard, but it was worth it for all the reasons stated here.

[aichaf]

I'm huge fan of the school of life, but this video was disappointing. I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years and this video just didn't hit home. Communication is not always an advantage. Its actually a huge disadvantage, because more than 70% of communication is non-verbal. All of that is lost in the distance. I was super excited when I read the title, and super disappointed when the video ended and I didn't have my usual School of Life "Aha" moment. I would recommend the channel to do more research on such topics next time.
That being said, I look forward to the next video and remain a true fan of this channel.

[pootlovato]

Long distance relations work on blind trusts. Its not that hard when you fall in love its just that people need to be aware of their vulnerability and the possibility that anything could happen.

[IISocratesII]

This is just misleading, distance kills it eventually, you can only say "i wish we could do/be/go (insert X here)" so many times before you realize it's crushing, it's pure despair after a while.

I'm sure it's far better if you're in a position in which you can see them frequently, but some have it much harder than others, work commitments, money struggles, incredible distances, other circumstances.

Some of your points do hold weight, but it just ignores the incredible downsides, truth be told i would not recommend it to anyone unless you know without a doubt you can actually move closer on a permanent basis, otherwise you will come to know melancholy very well.

[leona]

Sounds like it's written by someone who's never been in a long-distance relationship

[petestrat]

I had a long distance relationship for six years and it was one of the the most difficult things I've ever endured.

[strange_charm_x]

I've been in a 2 year long distance relationship before. It worked because we loved and trusted each other. The trick is constant communication but that is what ultimately broke the relationship (at least from my part) because it starts to grow on you, I became obsessed with knowing things about her and telling her everything I did. It got to a point that it became unhealthy. There was a certain imbalance of freedom and independence I guess (ironically). That and lack of physical intimacy was the end of it :(

[ComposerMathieu]

I really enjoyed this video. My girlfriend and I were living on opposite continents for two and a half years before I was finally able to move to her. You really do learn what love is when you only see each other a few weeks out of the year, and when you move in together you quickly get past all the petty things that really don't matter, because you both know in your hearts it was worth the wait.

[hedferguson]

Sometimes I find that the best part of a relationship can be missing them. And you can build the relationship on more then just sex. You can have a different kind of intimacy when all you have is text, phone of Skype.

[DeliCiousTZM]

Its hard to feel like the universe dont revolve around you, when every video is a perfect summary of my current situation.

[JenniferBui]

I think the reason why I disagree with those who are complaining about this video is that my Italian beau and I are both fairly independent and self-assured people. We don't need each other. Because we don't need each other, there's isn't a necessity for the other person's presence. But instead, an appreciation of their presence.

[stephaniea]

I was in a long distance relationship before. I was happy at first but after a while I felt lonely and depressed. I wanted to hug and cuddle all the time but I couldn't even do that. Also, no one around me took the relationship seriously which made me feel frustrated. After a while the distance was too much we ran out of things to say then one day he told me that he met a girl close to him. The relationship ended just like that. I tried real life dating afterwards and I'll never go back to long distance relationships ever again. Dating someone in real life honestly felt a billion times better

[MichaelFarah]

I'm in a long-distance relationship and I think that there are more disadvantages. The flirting thing is nonsense!

[lovemecom]

In every relationship we all have different kinds of problems that we've encountered but despite these problems we still have to remember the reasons why we choose to love that certain person.