If You Hear THIS From Your Long-Distance Partner... RUN!

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Long-distance relationships are a tough gig.

You miss each other. You feel like a separate part of their life at times. And you don’t always know when you’ll be together again. So . . . is it worth it? Well, it depends.

Long-distance relationships are tough, but there are warning signs that can help tell you if it’s likely to work long-term. In fact, there’s one thing someone can SAY to you that basically guarantees a long-distance relationship won’t last, and I share it in this video.

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▼ Chapters ▼

0:00 – 1:01 – The 3 Relationships
1:01 – 2:00 – Wanting Exclusivity
2:00 – 2:49 – Why LDRs Can Suck
2:49 – 3:31 – Why People Choose LDRs
3:31 – 3:42 – #1 Because That Person Is Worth It
3:42 – 4:11 – #2 We Have a Scarcity Mindset
4:11 – 4:52 – #3 It’s Convenient
4:52 – 5:41 – If They Are Avoidant
5:41 – 7:11 – How Someone Makes Us Feel
7:11 – 7:40 – Confusion Keeps Us in the Game
7:40 – 8:34 – If You Hear This, Watch Out
8:34 – 9:47 – Owning Your Needs and What You Want
9:47 – 11:19 – A Private Letter From Me to You

[janelles]

I drove an extra 35 minutes after driving for 12 hours and had to see my man, also traveled in bad weather...he says, he would never do that. He wouldn't drive extra just to get an hour of my presence after not seeing me for days. I ignored this red flag...one of many... lesson learned

[krishna]

Vibe and instinct don't lie. If something feels off, it probably is.

[RR]

After meeting over the phone through work, then in person three months later, my husband and I maintained a long distance relationship for just shy of four months. He came to meet me then I flew to see him five times before I relocated to his city. We got married a year after we first started talking.
We were very happy together for 25 years. I have been a widow since 2020.

[kauigirl]

LDR only works if you have the same goals.

[mialavendertarot]

When one door is closed possibly a bigger window is opened. Trust the process ❤

[coach_amy]

Confusion is the first sign to walk away. It seems so obvious, but it being so familiar in family-of-origin, mixed with seeing someone's potential, I really duped myself. It won't happen again.

Secondly, no one is worth a long-distance relationship for me. A relationship, to me, is being together, getting input from each other in day-to-day life, and learning/growing together in the context of actually functioning in life, etc.

[Mali]

TLDW: If you feel confused in a relationship it is likely you are getting gaslighted, make sure things are clear and benefit both the parties and if they refuse to then go your separate paths.

[maria.mobile]

OMG. Light bulb moment. Confusion is keeping you in the game and it is you not willing to admit that he makes you feel sad and disappointed. Well that sucks. But it's true 😂

[ahousat]

I always say, "Truth is a feeling and energy never lies"

[Elizabeth-gyou]

Some people don’t even give confusing awnsers. They lie! Be aware of red flags.

[starchoo]

My girlfriends in LDR for 2.6 years different country now both marride move to the same country, it work if both patient, honest and patience have same goal direction

[yunalee]

6 years long distance relationship... I just wasted 6 years! I was actually alone but I couldn't see it. As soon as I stopped it, I met 2 amazing met who want a real relationship. And I realize that all these six years I ignored many men who wanted a real relationship... I regret it. I was a stupid person.

[ChocoParfaitFra]

I had a long distance relationship with a narcissist and lemme tell you that they’re good at making you think they think exactly like you and want the same things. Then they find something else to do and throw you away. I suppose that what they want is just the experience of a long distance relationship, just to say “look what I’m able to accomplish”
Anyway, it hurts like crazy to suddenly receive completely different replies, like all of a sudden “yes I want the relationship but I don’t have time to focus on it” and NEVER have a serious conversation about breaking up, so the torture goes on and on because they give you nothing and then mixed signals, and they also don’t take responsibility and break up with you, no, they keep you there and it’s like they expect you to break up cause they don’t want any responsibility

[NaeK]

Matthew!! I needed this video 3 months ago! 😂 this described ME. I had a scarcity mindset, was the only one pursuing a man in Texas (I’m in Australia) and he kept me in confusion. When we would argue, and I sought reassurance by asking “do you love me?” He responded “I can’t answer that right now” and would withhold affection. When I was 100% lovely and no needs to ask and no emotions, he’d shower we with affection and love and reassurance…he wanted to get married, move closer (but never made proper plans for that and would blame me for his inaction). I was SO confused, and he called me psychotic and unstable, and a narcissist!! 🤯 for asking him to show effort and getting upset, showing emotions… etc… man, it was crazy. I’m so glad that’s done. Would love more videos on LDRs.

[Starmajor]

When Mathew Hussey says “confusion keeps us in the game… [and] that avoiders thrive on creating confusion, ” I related to this. I dated a guy who talked to me everyday and suddenly with avoidant on me. He continued to like my social media stories and send me memes. No direct communication.

I knew what was happening with the confusion. To diffuse it, I deactivated all my social media and deleted the apps. Best quick actions ever because power is coming back to me! 🤣 this guy knew wtf he was doing lmfaooo

[fernandamaurer]

It took me a 15 hour flight to be confronted to that truth, lesson learned! Long distance relationships are quite handy to avoindants!

[redlabel]

Great advice! My long-distance partner gives me joy, reassurance, and love. When we are together (which is not often, sadly), I feel like I am the most loved I've ever been. He's never wavered on us being together full time in the future either... it just takes time. Long distance relationships are certainly possible for the right people😊

[meetandinspire]

"It's not about confrontation; it's about taking your power back and to take your power back you need to start by owning your needs and what you want."

"When someone gives you confusing answers, that's a form of misdirection that's designed to take you away from the very simple truth of this situation."

[YanaWanderlust.]

I am russian, he is british and we are in LDR for 3, 5 years and met in real only once. He always says "I do not see you in a long-term relationship" 😅 he does not want to meet up more often or propose me or whatever. I decided to call it quit finally.

[sleepymushroom]

Matt's advice here also applies to non-LDRs. Stay vigilant!