Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship and wondered if it’s even possible to make it work? Find out here.
Have you ever been in a long distance relationship and wondered if it’s even possible to make it work?

As part of my Unity membership relaunch this week, I’m answering some of the most commonly asked questions.

Here’s today’s question:

Adam, I’m in a long distance relationship and I really love him, but he lives in Chicago and I’m in LA and neither of us ever plan on moving, can we make it work? - Sandra

Find out the answer in this video.

Do you think that long distance relationships work? I’d love to hear your input in the comments below.

Your coach,
Adam

[mariamistretta]

Most of the time Long distance, doesn't work, it can only works if both people are willing to make it work.

[lemonus]

My 3 years LDR has been a roller coaster ride... one thing I can sure you that this is a type of relationship not just for anybody. if you need a lot of attention and are more of an emotionally attached style type of person, it will be very hard. But LDR could also offer a lot of opportunity for relationship and personal growth if you focus on the positive aspect and not let the negative and fear base concept destroying your relationship. Focus on building the future and learning about each other and self will be much helpful.

[momsspaghetti]

I am in a LDR for almost three years now. We have been visiting back and forth for two months at a time, we also skype everyday. In 6 months we are getting married and finally starting our life together!! :) It will work if you have a plan for your future. Also if you try to make time for each other everyday for at least 1-2 hours just to talk or for something sexy. Send letters and gifts and keep the relationship fun and fresh. It's not easy there will be crying and arguments but if you stick with it it makes you have the best communication ever. We know how to talk to each other very well because of our situation. I feel a lot of people in normal relationships don't have good communication.

[danam]

It can work for a lot of people. Especially confident people. My uncle has been in long distance with his wife since 2011 until now so that’s 8 years, and they visit each other every 4 months they will eventually live back together but not anytime soon. They been married for 33 years. My cousin is in LDR going to 3 years now, they also meet each other every 6 months they don’t wanna get married but they’re committed to each other. They are so much in love. My friend is in LDR with her bf for a year and he visit her once a month, they love each other but not planing to get married, but it’s working for them. I was in LDR for 5 years, we were committed but I broke up with him not because of the distance but because he was very immature. So it depends, if both people want to make it work it can work. Nothing is impossible. If relationships are not meant to be then it won’t work regardless of the distance!! Actually Most break ups happens in SDR. There is no rules of how long you should wait to live together, if two people want each other and show commitment and do their best to visit etc then it doesn’t matter how long it can take to close the distance. It’s not good idea to put such restrictions in relationships!! It’s like telling someone if you don’t marry me in one year I’m gonna break up with you!? It’s like telling them I won’t love you if you don’t do this and that....!! As long as the person is not abusive, you should love freely, communicate, understand each other and be individuals.

[jodam]

I think long distance is only going to work if you plan on moving closer to each other. If neither person is willing to move for the relationship then I would question if you're wasting your time or not. and if they or you don't want to move then I would question how much they actually love you and how committed they really are

[lauraheidorn]

I was in an ldr and it worked. We met on ok cupid and started an ldr. I went there for seven days and after I came back he proposed to me. Then in November I moved there and moved in with him and couldn't be happier. It was the best decision I ever made to be with him. We laugh and joke a lot and have a lot in common.

[soraya]

I'm in a long distance relationship and it's so hard fo me :(
Yeh! I'm tired of using technology, I need him right in front of me!

[uberlyftsfbayarea]

you can have a long distance relationship, ,,but the numbers 1 question, , , if you have a money to afford it, , , you have to think the expenses for the flight ticket and hotel, ,plus food, and its depends, , if you want to visit her or him every 6 months or every year, and how long you want to stay on her or him country or state, , , 2 weeks or 1 month, , , , its all about the money guys, ,,in our every move, , , money is always included

[lizzycopata]

LDR works if you really love each other.

[sfoster]

Thank you so much for addressing this topic. The idea is inherently unworkable, but sometimes 2 wonderful loving people find themselves in this situation. I appreciate your solid input.

[muniramazumder]

yeah ! me too :( i am long distance relationship sometimes it hurts we keep fighting most of the time due to our time zone difference he says he always busy with work and calls me less in a week and gives me excuses :( i am so confused he treats me differently and tells me i am changed

[king-nick]

I had a long distance relationship. 3 years! Lol needles to say it never worked out

[juliewamona]

Although it has never worked for me, I believe it works for other people...I strongly believe it

[rebeccafields]

I have something to add to this. I'm not an expert but in my opinion if neither one of them wants to move then that's an issue in my eyes.I mean can't force them to but of they're saying like they definetly dont want to move for the relationship to progress then I dont see how it would work.

[Bella-kepr]

It's really hard watching a couple struggle with this.

[jaypritchett]

im in one and we're two states away from each other. after i get brain surgery then we plan on getting married

[denaymarine]

I don't think they work for me. I did long distance for 4 months until he came home from a deployment. We almost didn't make it. The stress was surmountable....!!!
Thanks for this Adam!!!!

[roniquebreauxjordan]

No "pen pals"...phone buddies ( still not texting) or any other commitment phobe. Thanks coach!

[emilyslaton]

lol my boyfriend and I live 1.5 hours away and see each other every other weekend and I thought that counted as a LDR 😅

[neginnasiri]

my ex's friend is in an over 3 years relationship with her gf and they were besties 2 years before they start the relationship (we're in Canada and her gf is in US, they only see eachother during holidays.... and we're about 20 rn)
my parents were in over 2 years relationship as well (my dad was in Iran) and they made it work so.. 😞