The One Thing Avoidants Discover After Taking Space (And It Changes Everything)

There’s one thing an avoidant will discover after taking space that will change everything for them.

And it has to do with this: A spinning top.

You'll have to watch the video to get the context though ;).

[miketran]

Leave the avoidant alone, they will only bring pain and not worth the time and effort as you are only hurting yourself.

[AABTBS]

Yup 😑 the avoidant resides in his isolated cosy castle yet needs connection, And so, being in a connection with them looks chaotic af =
You knock on their door, they peep through a crack only to slam it shut, next day they invite you over to the yard and mid-picnic they run back indoors and lock the doors - I am experiencing this for a year now, this crazy-making sharp moves, ambivalence to it's extreme form - one minute you are invited, next the door being slammed so close to your face which feels like a slap to the face, deepest insult I have experienced,
And notice, no matter how much attachment knowledge I and we here got, the experience of unsafety with extremely ambivalent partner is a clear loud MAYDAY to our deepest core system, our nervous system that aims to feel safe is triggered with danger. That is why no matter all the logical explanations, mostly a relationship with an avoidant will poison and harm us emotionally in a deep level that will require serious healing after it falls apart (ie dumped by the avoidant).

[LynL-vo]

I love your content Chris, you always have the best examples explained so simply. I always learn something new from your every post, you’re so on point every single time!
It’s not the matter of getting the attention of an avoidant but keeping them. Prepare for a lifelong battle, if it’s worth the chase along with your mental health, wellbeing, time, and energy. If they’re on the run and avoiding then they’re just not that into you. It’s really that simple. The best advice I get from these videos is BE THE PHANTOM stay gone and far out of reach. Don’t chase, attract. Like a moth to a flame, be the flame and don’t get burned. Free your life from heartbreak 💔 work on yourself and don’t waste any of your precious time.

[JustGabe]

"The one that got away"? No, bro. It's THE ONE THEY LEFT, because of their fear.

[susmateja]

An avoidant is a gift that just keeps on hurting. (in German the word 'Gift' means poison, quite appropriate here)

[youtubeaccountserio]

The best avoidant related youtuber out there

[dencoop]

I do have to say your videos are the most technicality based and your micro analysis breakdown to a molecular level are very informative. Thank you for your research in this sphere.

[KatyCupcakes]

It’s true: I was the Phantom Ex for 9.5 years long distance. That’s how long it went on. Now that I found your videos, I realize I’m anxious, fearful and also somewhat avoidant myself. I also fawned like crazy and always died on the wheel along with him 100 times.

This time I’ve jumped off and gone no contact. I can’t play this game any longer and don’t want him back. It’s over. I’m working on developing a secure attachment style now that I’m more aware.

I will haunt him as his phantom ex for all eternity now.

[evanwalkerPsalms]

So to get an avoidant back you have to become an avoidant to them. I never have been so confused in my whole life

[moon_lover]

I have two avoidant people in my life.
Both are textbook case.
I love to watch these videos and see how true of an avoidants they are.
I told them to take a test online. But they both deny.

[JaneMcCourt]

Great content! The problem is that in the second hand singles market, the majority of men are avoidants, so unless they choose to work on themselves, few relationships will work.

[HotRodHarley]

Pining for their phantom x is safer than actually getting back with the phantom. It's typically used as a shield to keep distance from the current partner, not usually someone they actually reunite with.

[dbdz]

The image of the avoidant jumping back over the wall made me crack up a bit.

[angeluva]

I have to wonder, what is the point in trying to make anything with a severe DA ever work out, when it’s just impossible to accomplish? We already know we can’t convince or fix anyone else. Isn’t the only option to just leave them alone?

[franceslynn]

I was with my avoidant on and off for 10 yrs. He would leave & come back. One min engaged then run away. He disguarded me a year & half ago. Last week he contacted me to let me know his mom was in the hospital. Im anxious and after all this time he broke me.

[whiggygirl]

Mine never gave himself time to be on his own. Was in a committed rship within max 4 weeks of us stopping seeing each other. We'd been seeing each other 10 months, bit he kept telling me he couldn't commit, for one reason or snother. Despite constantly leading me on, treating me like his gf and telling me he had "really really strong feelings for me", right up to the end 😢

[smonaful]

Ur vids have really grown in quality content. Core observations. Thanks

[LanaD.-iilk]

Dear Chris, I am already got over avoidant ex, but still watching your videos, like the quality of content.

P.s. for all going through the painful heartbreak - it will get better with time. Don’t run away from the pain, your emotions- live it through, time, self-work and self-care will heal the wound. In other words, put focus on yourself and healing. No contact is crucial. It took me a year to live through the pain, but now this feeling of freedom…It’s amazing! feels like I got my wings 🪽 back again.

[jesseskellington]

15:15 Ok, Chris, What is the video you're trying to link to? The YouTube algorithm has given me three different videos.... Can you put the link below?

[jesseskellington]

Very compelling graphics and animations😊