The Dangers of Divorcing a Narcissist with Demetria Graves | Season 2; Ep 4

Top divorce attorney Demetria Graves reveals her pre-divorce checklist, the biggest mistakes people make in the process and breaks down the harsh realities of going toe-to-toe with a narcissist in court.

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Guest Bio:
Certified Family Law Specialist, Demetria Graves, opened her own Family Law practice, The Graves Law Firm. She is considered a leading Family Law attorney and has received many accolades for her dedication to the field of family law as well as to the community. Ms. Graves hosts a podcast, “Legally Uncensored with Attorney Demetria L. Graves,” addressing family law-related topics. In addition, Ms. Graves wrote and released a book in 2021 titled, “When Women Run the Firm: How to successfully launch and manage your law practice with confidence.”

Guest Information:
Podcast - Legally Uncensored Podcast
Facebook - The Graves Law Firm

Helpful Resources:
Narcissist Abuse Support - Narcissistabusesupport.Com
Women’s Divorce - WomensDivorce.Com
Survive Divorce - Surviveddivorce.Com

This podcast should not be used as a substitute for medical or mental health advice. Individuals are advised to seek independent medical advice, counseling, and/or therapy from a healthcare professional with respect to any medical condition, mental health issue, or health inquiry, including matters discussed on this podcast.

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EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: Jada Pinkett Smith, Ellen Rakieten, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, Meghan Hoffman, Fallon Jethroe
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Narcissists are everywhere and these days it seems like everyone has at least one in their lives! Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed clinical psychologist, will help you spot red flags and heal from the narcissist in your life. Every Thursday, we will hear first-hand accounts from people who know this territory the best, the survivors.

New episodes weekly on iHeartRadio.

#NavigatingNarcissism #NavigatingNarcissismPodcast #DrRamaniPodcast #NavigatingNarcissism #NavigatingNarcissismDrRamani #NavigatingNarcissismPodcastDrRamani #DrRamaniPodcast #DrRamanNarcissismPodcast

[adwest]

I filed after 20 years without telling him. It was cut and dry because we didn’t have nothing to fight for. I walked away with nothing but my peace & sanity. I’m so glad I finally got the strength to do it. I’ve been Free for 8 months

[MurrayIsBased]

The abrupt realization that you put so much investment and time in someone who never cared for you is tough

[eleanorwittering]

They don't just want to "WIN!" They want to *hurt-&-harm!*

[janathena]

At the end of my 3 year divorce from a Covert Narcissist, the Judge "suggested" at the end of her written ruling that I could potentially sue the other side for legal fees due to "non-cooperation". I did & I was awarded 1/3 of my attorney fees.

[gypsybrowne]

I read this online in a poster:

When a narcissist loses was control over you, they will control what others think of you.

18 years 8 months and 7 days and I got out. Have no home I am on every housing list and I came to survive in the middle of winter.

All that being said... my life is better than any day of that 18 years 8 months and 7 days.

[lanapoet]

My ex husband was such a narcissist, he enrolled a law degree in the middle of a divorce (which is now in its 5th year). In the beginning, he was hiring barristers and then realised that he is "cleverer" than them, i.e. they were so "stupid" they couldn't convince judges to believe his lies. Let me also say that he already has a degree in electrical engineering and has had a lucrative career in IT. He has abused every venue of appeal and even applied to the European Court of human rights. He didn't want to pay child maintenance so the children had to endure a DNA test. When the children and I left unbearable hell of family home in a shelter, he changed the locks and rented the house to three young women (living there with him). We managed to kick him out. God gives me strength to deal with this freak and I can't wait to see how he is going to deal with him in the end. People, especially women need to be educated to spot a narcissist from a mile. They are a plague to a human race. I am so glad I left him, it is priceless.

[YMR]

Let them feel they’re in control, play them at their own game, let them think they’re winning.

[Kari-bbrm]

Started putting all my special stuff and my belongings in my truck. Took a small vacation to Tennessee, procured a job, went back, packed a few more things, gave my 2 week notice, said my goodbyes, and moved into an abandoned, condemned cabin, fixed it up a Lil, in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, so happy I abandoned him and all my other stuff. Freedom from him is worth the loss of the house/money...

[kylietrevillion]

19 year marriage
8 year court battle
$600, 000 my legal fees
Despite this, leaving was absolutely the best decision! My recommendation is gather as much documentary evidence in the year before leaving. Stay strong and stand firm on your truth!

[MsAngelaCrystal]

14 years married, 17k 9 month divorce. My ex was a narcissist in every way. He just text me yesterday relitigating the divorce 3 years later because he lost big. Thankful for full custody of my 2 kids. This was such an interesting podcast. My divorce cost me everything but freedom is priceless.

[Bossbitch]

It’s taken me a year and a half to work up almost all the courage I need to file. I’m terrified, financially dependent and doing this alone while trying to maintain sobriety. I hope that my freedom will be worth the horrors I am facing in this divorce.

[catherinewolfe]

I have been a divorce attorney for 40 years and this is the best discussion on narcissistic divorces...really great...

[itsmelanieking]

The email! Omg I thought it was just me. 2 years after my divorce and I still have to psych myself up to check it twice a week. Divorce ptsd is very real. Don’t get married folks. Or only do so with a rock solid pre-nup.

[newyorke]

I’ve been divorcing a malignant narcissist for almost 5 years. Even hardened judges have a hard time seeing that they are dealing with a sick person.

[shansmith]

I can’t even divorce my narcissist I just feel like death might be the only way out. Can’t afford to leave I’ll lose what little I have and yet nothing means anything to me. He is the hardest person I’ve ever dealt with in my life. I just don’t even know what to do at this point. Too depressed to make plans to leave too depressed to look for extra work or want to work a second job to stay steady on my feet. It’s hell. I haven’t had a clear mind in years and nobody understands except the people who’ve maybe gone through this. It’s the strangest thing to ever deal with then having to deal with the trauma in your head.

[dawn]

Not checking my inbox and it negatively affecting my work is SPOT ON! Seeing the narc’s name makes me physically ill and creates such an adrenaline rush.

[ynupxcq]

This is such important information. I am now divorced after 36 years of marriage to a difficult narcissist. Thankfully my attorney was upfront about going to court telling me that only the attorneys would win. My attorney said my ex was the most difficult person she had dealt with in her long career. The Narc-Ex had a replacement for me before I even left the home and my children learned of his new wife on Facebook (his go-to for supply) My "settlement" ended up being a fraction of the 1/2 it should have been & my physical and mental health suffered as did the health of my adult children. It was a nightmare, but I am free. Still lots of rumination about the new woman in the home I made even so far as wearing the clothing I had to leave behind when I covertly left. Please keep educating people including attorneys and judges.

[tammycalvin]

I file for divorce after 37 years with a Narcissist it was easy he didn’t respond to the serve so I was happy our children were adults so it took 7 months and I was free as a bird

[sk.n.]

Demetria is really good. I divorced a full fledged narcissist & all this is true. Best approach was to be the "reasonable" one & the one being willing to "compromise" to come to a "solution" (whether you want this or not). Emphasize you support the kids "loving" the other parent & vice versa. This IS what judges want to hear. The narcissist will NOT support this, this even triggers them & they do "themselves" in. This was hard but was so effective & worked!!! Took me 3 yrs.

[emilykozel]

It’s horrible and very expensive to litigate against a narcissist