BEING OBLIVIOUS TO CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

#parenting #parentingtips #narcissiticparents #narcissist #narcawareness #emotionallyabusiveparents #trauma #childhoodtrauma #healing

[thatautodidact]

I had a 2 week visit to hospital in my early 20s that cracked my perception open. I knew my family wasn't normal, but I figured 'normal' families were a myth because I didn't know a single family that seemed normal. Friends spoke about my parent being not quite right, and I'd fill my role in defending them without question. Other family members would say something similar, and I'd dismiss, push against, and resent these comments because they weren't around enough to understand the situation. Sometimes I had thought they were the problem because they would seem to push my parent's buttons on purpose. Or malicious neglect.

I didn't realize that my family was dysfunctional, toxic, unhealthy, or abusive until I was put in an intensive trauma treatment program. I was slooowly getting there on my own, but the hospital stay made it unavoidable.

Late 20s, just some years ago, went no contact with the entire family. Knowing too well the risk of information exchanges that could lead to damages to the psyche, body, finances..

Anyway, somewhere through my 20s thanks to pursuing mental health treatment as soon as I was a legal adult.

I feel like knowing is only 10% of the battle. Compared to the lifestyle changes and daily minutiae of maintenance & progress that can be part of healing from it all.

[NWESM]

"I love you so much!"
"Stop saying that. You say it so much. Just get in the car."
I was 5. 🤷🏾 We were visiting castles.

[DrewBradford]

I was 40 before I consciously realized my mother suffers from mental illness. Likely Borderline Personality and OCD. I felt like an idiot when it finally clicked.Since then I've been unpacking so much of my childhood trauma and trying to fill in so many blank spots in my memories. Your content really hits a nerve, sometimes good, sometimes hard but always healthy. Thank you 😢

[meissie]

After my son was born I had a huge depression. My son brought everything to the surface. He learned me a lot. These "bad"experciences made me a good mother. I've had a periode of time I spoild him and every child who came in my house. But after therapy and EMDR I feel who I was supposed to be. But I always am aware to please not redo this toxic patterns.

[jerryhill]

Ah,
No.. I knew it wasn't normal from before age five as a captive witness when my father would come home mean (rager) drunk & beat mother unconscious
Nor at 5 or 6 listening to get scream "Oh! God! Go get help! He's killing me! And when I he heard me move - turned, looked me dead in the eye & said, "If you move, I promise you, when I'm done with her, you're next"
That was the first time I was *consciously* aware it was neither 'normal' or 'right'. Prior to 12, much of the prior years are a dead blank space with no memories of "good" or "bad" times - save when ultra hypervigilence required "I" <calm, rational, "What may be the next right indicated thing to do, say (or NOT say or do) to mitigate escalating the chaos and perceived immediate dangers of living with an angry, verbally, mentally, emotionally & physically violent drunk & a bipolar-schizophrenic mother....
with this one, there's a disconnect.
Maybe regroup, re-aim & take another shot at the mark?
My apologies.

[frianklippelaar]

Well id truely love to have a lengthy conversation with you about all the stuff that was pointed out to me afterwards, that i didnt know wasnt right, or downright wrong