Avoidant Personality Disorder | The Signs

In this video, clinical psychologist, Dr. Ramani Durvasula, and MedCircle host, Kyle Kittleson, discuss 8 signs of avoidant personality disorder, also known as, APD and how to identify them.

Topics:
00:00 Intro
00:22 What is APD?
00:57 1. Avoids significant social activity
01:13 2. Sticks to social groups they know
01:47 3. Restraint in intimate relationships
02:26 4. Ruminates on fear of criticism
03:12 Inhibited in new social situations
03:52 6. Severe fear of embarrassment
04:30 7. "Gives in" to social situations
05:31 8. Holds back from opportunities
06:04 APD in Dr Ramani's practice
07:17 How to watch more

#Avoidant #MentalHealth #MedCircle #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #personalitydisorder #psychology

[stephanie]

That’s totally me in a nutshell.
I used to be very outgoing and didn’t care what people thought of me when I was younger. Then in adulthood, many negative experiences (embarrassment by others, betrayal by friends and family, being left out, prolonged exposure to people with narcissistic tendencies) caused me to withdraw. Now it’s at a point where I don’t even know how to be around people anymore. I constantly feel like I’m saying, doing or even wearing the wrong thing. I just don’t fit in anymore.
The investment of time and effort that ends up in betrayal, disrespect or plain discard is just too much to handle.

[vinselvin]

Avoidant personality style = survival skill that I developed from the bullies/mean people

[lexitao]

Because of my fear of rejection, I tend to push others away and reject them before they get a chance to reject me.

[narcissism-masterclass]

The problem: The anxiety is based on past experience. It's not always irrational.

[carpathianken]

1.Avoid larger group social activity.
2.Stick to social groups of people that they know will accept them.
3.They restrain themselves in intimate relationships due to fear of receiving negative judgment.
4.They ruminate about fear of criticism before a social event.
5.Feel inadequate in social situations.They become quiet.
6.Severe fear of embarrassment.
7.May "give in" in social situations rather than assert & properly protect themselves.
8.They hold themselves back from opportunities.

[sandances]

I think this is me. I was bullied mercilessly both physically and verbally in elementary school to the point where I considered suicide. Kids would pretend to be my friend but then join in the bullying in a group. Often bullying would happen right in front of teachers and they would do nothing. My parents didn't seem to care either. That was the 80's for you. There have been other experiences in my life along the way where I don't feel like I'm ever part of the group. I don't trust that people really want me there. My husband, the love of my life, was a very social person and I felt like I belonged when I was with him. He gave me confidence. Since he died after a long horrible battle with ALS I feel lost. I do have a few close friends I can really talk to. I have been stepping out of my comfort zone but I really just want to stay home alone.

[kellylorang]

I have dealt with avoided personality since my earliest memories. From the time I was a child, I have been so afraid of being judged and found lacking. Not being pretty enough, not being smart enough, not being funny enough, etc. As a child, I was also hyperactive. My nerves would cause me to break out in hives quite often and it would happen in social situations especially. Back in the 60s, very few people even considered that children could have a mental disability. I am now almost 60 years old and go out socially only with my parents. When I am not at work, I seldom leave my apartment. I have never married because I self sabotaged all of my relationships before we got very serious. I have a niece that is now dealing with this and is being home schooled by my brother because she can't handle going to school. At least, they recognize she has problems and she is getting counseling. I hope so much she can avoid all of the pain and anguish that I have gone through all my life.

[letsgoBrandon]

I've spent the best part of 37 years feeling this way. A day doesn't go by when it's not a problem.
A strange thing I've noticed is that I find conversations with people at work somewhat doable IF it's about work (it also depends _who_ I'm talking to). Anything more personal and I clam up. Even saying good morning is difficult! Sometimes I just want to kill myself, but don't have the balls to do it.
It's life consuming. Never been in an intimate relationship. No friends any more. And still living with parents.. at 37! 😰

[alias]

My boyfriend is this. I'm one of the few people he trusts 100% and I advocate for him all the time, through seeing me stand up for him, he's learned over time, that he can do it too. He's slowly gaining more confidence. Speaking up, of course I'm always there backing him up. I'm a ride or die with him but it is hard dealing with this. I have my own issues as well....compounded with his, it's a lot. I love him though, so its worth it.

[ampoo]

This has ruined my life. My doctor misdiagnosed me to have social phobia and I didn't really get the proper help. In many years I've been isolating myself from people. It got so bad that I have painful fears just by thinking of getting a jobb. It hurts bc I do enjoy to be with people

[christina]

I remember as a kid and young adult being surrounded by covert narcissistic people, emotional abuse from shameful parents and some physical abuse. This definition is accurate for my fearful avoidant tendencies

[SnakePepper]

SO true! I’ve always been quiet and anxious, and people assume I’m incompetent. I’ve noticed at every job Ive had the people who are loud and competitive are always viewed as good at their job, while the quiet ones who prefer to not steal the spot light are viewed as stupid and treated like a child. Why is that?

[RavenDunbar]

I have an Avoidant-Dependant Personality Disorder, along with Depression and ADHD. It's a real struggle. I've been getting a little bit better, but I still struggle with a lot of these things, such as advocating for myself and entering new and unfamiliar social situations. I also have a huge struggle with rejection. This list really did describe so many things I struggle with.
I was bullied a lot by my peers, and had no friends when I was in the sixth grade, so I think a lot of it stems from that.

[profbeamer]

Thank you for using the term "asocial" instead of "antisocial". It burns me up when people are telling me that I'm being "anti-social." I immediately correct them. I'll say, "No. Not wanting to socialize is being _asocial._ Now, if I were to kick you in the shin for telling me I'm being anti-social, _then_ I would be 'anti-social.' Want a demonstration?"

[nicholasbogosian]

The problem is that a lot of the things you're afraid of being embarrassed about is valid. I've definitely stretched my comfort zone, in full awareness of doing so, and still got criticized or judged in some way, no matter how small. Because people know if you're stretching yourself or lacking confidence.

[rkoff]

I was nodding my head so hard to this. I remember as a kid thinking at parties that I would eat to look "normal" because I didn't know how to interact with the other kids.

[dailydoseofmedicinee]

For example, they may do the following: They may refuse a promotion because they fear coworkers will criticize them.

[colinsmith]

I was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality disorder. I couldn't talk to people comfortably. I started drinking heavily when in social situations and it seemed to fix it. But then I drank too much. I have since stopped drinking but now live completely isolated outside of my two kids and wife. My wife has been amazing. She stuck by me through two institutionalizations. I still have anxiety when interacting with her though and am terrified of making her angry or even irritating her.

[Laura-vsfs]

I am shocked to see how many of these speak to me. I think it is down to my anxiety though as I love meeting new people, but always have in my mind the fear of people making fun of me, not liking me etc and it is actually worse with people I know as I don't want to be rejected from somebody, who already accepted me into their life. I do engage a lot with new people and speak a lot due to ADHD, so I forget these fears, but they always creep in every time I interrupt somebody or see I have been talking way too much about a specific topic. Even as an older child I was already very aware of embarrassing situations and even now I fear embarrassment in various situations. Always love watching medcircles and especially dr ramanis videos as

[ramspace]

As a kid i developed avoidance personality, particularly talking to girls that I liked. 50 years later, after a lot of counscious effort, I feel much better. No regrets. There is always a light when one puts in the effort to improve.