What is the difference between Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder?

This video describes differences between Avoidant Personality Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder. Avoidant Personality Disorder is characterized by fear of social situations, social inhibition, panic attacks, isolation, low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and feelings of inferiority. Social Anxiety Disorder is similar, but the symptoms are less severe. Social Anxiety Disorder is often associated with increased insight, better prognosis, and higher self-esteem as compared to Avoidant Personality Disorder. The counseling treatments for both disorders are usually similar.

[sashagarval]

I feel like everyone else knows how to be a human being, except me.

[MrItsalie]

I can't even be close to my closest friends, people I have know for 10 years I still feel uncomfortable and anxious around them.

[marelicainavokado]

I like his explanation more than the usual "people aren't judging you, you're just imagining things". He explains that people ARE judging an avoidant's behavior and will turn against him even if he did no harm to them. People will mock you if they consider you an awkward loser - the trick is to learn not to acknowledge their opinion, but that's hard to achieve when you have no confidence.

[LilRedRasta]

Neglect...bingo. You described my childhood. My parents were overprotective AND they neglected me. My parents are also loners. They don't really have many friends, they don't really even speak to each other, and they don't really show affection towards each other, etc. So when I was growing up we did nothing as a family. We only went on ONE family vacation. One. They often left me in my room. I really can't remember us ever having long deep conversations about anything. Occassionaly my mom would take me to the movies, and occasionally my dad would play basketball with me but those were fairly rare occasions. They discouraged me from talking to other kids, and they always would try to keep me from doing risky things even when I got older. As a result,  I often isolated myself because I was never taught social skills. Like if you see your child has no friends, wouldn't you be concerned? Not my parents. They didn't give a shit probably because they also had no friends. I love them because they provided for me, but they dropped the ball in other areas. No parent is perfect I guess. At least I had a dad and mom.

[samanthaspurgeon]

Everything in this life feels awkward to me. I feel awkward every second of everyday. Awkward in my on skin. Even when I'm alone.

[SpaceCattttt]

Having suffered from APD on a major scale for the last 26 years (I'm 40 now), I can't but agree with your assessment
of the disorder and of how it differs from the perhaps more common general social anxiety problems.

I've also been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder, which in my opinion makes APD so much worse to cope with,
because not only do I have a large number of social stressors to deal with, but my main stressor is actually my own body.
And I take that with me wherever I go, don't I? So whenever I've hypothetically finished speaking in front of a crowd, the
anxiety and fear of being judged isn't relieved by removing the stressor, because I carry another one around at all times.

The only relief comes from being isolated. But even then, my mind is filled with regrets over missed opportunities,
loneliness, apathy and feelings of my life slipping away un-lived. And that lasts until the next social obligation shows up,
before which I will worry constantly until it's finally over and done with. It has no time limit.
If I'm expected to do something out of my comfort zone 3 months from now, I will worry for 3 months beforehand.

This is no way to live. It's exhausting and completely drains any enjoyment out of life.
And in my case, it means that I'm unable to work, make friends, form romantic relationships, travel, or just socialize
in general. I just sit at home reading books and order groceries online.

Every day is an endless routine of asking "Why" questions.
Why am I here? What's the point? Why was I born with these problems? Why don't I end it and ease the burden on
others? And I never find the answers, of course, because there are none. And I'm too much of a coward to kill
myself. Which is ironic, since you wouldn't expect someone like me to have the self-preservation instinct.

Anyway, I suppose I'm writing this as a warning to others, so that they will consider seeking professional help
as soon as possible and avoid ending up avoiding life as I have done.

[elianderson]

I think I have a strange case of SAD and/or AvPD:

I don't like to socialize because I always feel awkward, tense and anxious. I have to be this perfect social person and I can't afford to make mistakes. I fear that if I do make a mistake, I will be unattractive and people will silently judge me. I like to stay inside yet I have a crazy need to socialize with others.


Strangely enough, I'm really good with people and I know how to socialize on a superficial level. Almost everybody that I come in contact with likes me. I make new acquaintances everywhere I go and I tend to be quite popular within big groups. I sometimes get complimented by people for my networking skills. If I tell people I suffer from social anxiety, they laugh and think I'm kidding.


It's so strange because I never feel comfortable around anyone. Not even my own family. People see me as a friend yet I never really feel the same way. I have no idea how to deal with it?


Does someone relate?

[noahheninger]

I think the difference between SAD and APD is that, with SAD, you have the anxiety itself, and with APD, you have the pervasive beliefs and habits that arise from it. And I don't think those with with APD lack insight. Rather, they are self-reflective to a fault. They know their worldview is irrational--it just doesn't make any damn difference. Like any personality disorder, the rational part of their brain isn't what's in control.

[TheChovermale]

The holidays are so hard, I stay in my room the entire time.

[DarKTsunG]

I have APD and I think watching this made me realize something about myself, the characteristics you described as a lack of insight I've always thought of as actually having insight. I always think I know someone else's motivation and that I'm an expert at reading subtle facial cues, body language etc. all leading toward the conclusion that most people lie to me most of the time or are at the very least withholding something from me. Thanks for the explanation.

[jonpaulbillingsleyjr.]

I'm a 36 year old, male. Diagnosed social anxiety disorder 2 times. I don't believe avoiding interaction will help me. I avoid interaction because 1. I'm generally not interested in anything anyone has to say. 2. I feel very uncomfortable with the entire interaction. 3. It's very stressful trying to listen, understand and form a response on the spot. Small talk is the worst!

I'm living with grandparents now. Not working. I stay home daily. I'm actually okay being somewhat alone. It's predictable. I have no other health issues. I could get a job but there's no motivation to. It would take a lot. I've had about 16 different jobs. I usually end up quiting without notice due to stress/anxiety. I never care at all about the work I'm doing anyway plus I never form close friendships so walking out the door without notice is quite easy. It's embarrassing when family finds out though. This has happened over and over and over and over. I want to make it in my own, I know my fears are irrational, but the pain is real.

Thanks for the video.

[ailaaaishapath]

AvPD also affects not just your social life but your relationship with your job, hobbies, daily routine etc. It tend to manifests itself as persistent procrastination, difficulty starting and continuing any task. for example when you try pursuing your hobby which did not work out as you expected then you feel dissappointed and loath your ability even if you're learning. subsequently you drop and avoid the hobby for weeks or months or years because you dont think you are good enough for it, not enough time, not in the 'perfect' state of mind and so on.

[jariheimoluoto]

how do you ask help from a world that will turn on you the second you show weakness...

[docbainl]

I would just like to clarify some things from someone who suffers with both avoidance personality disorder and also obsessive compulsive disorder. There are a few differences in social anxiety disorder and avoidance (pd) just like the good Doctor states. I would like to give a few examples. As I have gotten closer to 30, I have seen my disorder get progressively worse and until I was recently diagnosed I just thought I was an "introvert". I constantly avoid ALL new social situations. I do not like meeting new people. I have a fiance and if we go out we do so at times that I can avoid dense amounts of people (right before a store closes or opens). I chose a job specifically where i do not have to interact with people for long times. I changed my career completely and regressed into a life of avoidance . I don't attend baby showers as I'm childless, I don't do birthdays for children or adults unless it's for direct family. I will attend most to all family events unless it it's not direct family. I do not attend work functions, work parties I don't like meeting anyone new for any reason. I used to be a dog trainer and occasionally still attend dog training seminars and meets however recently my disorder has gotten so bad I'm struggling to remain connected to a great group of dog trainers for no reason. Other then I just cannot deal with the anxiety and the hassel of getting to know some one only to have to part with them later anyway. Why not save the effort and not meet new people. I don't go clubbing even though I'm 29, don't go to parties or barbeques. I find excuse after excuse not to go. I've even lied about my partners grandmother dying to get out of going to a social event. I hate absolutely HATE baby showers or mother events. I really cannot stand going or being at anything like that. Surprisingly I have a lot of people who want to and try to socially interact with me however they're met with a barrage of empty promises of joining them or just excuse after excuse as to why I couldnt come.

There is a part of me that likes this disorder cause it's cool to be my own best friend. But there's a part of me that hates it to cause I'm my own worst enemy.

[evastavreva]

I never actually knew this disorder existed..i always used to think I had social anxiety disorder, but that seemed very different because it wasn't just one stressor that would cause this feeling, but rather constant worry and trying to avoid people. I always thought I was just constantly over-exaggerating things...

[l.n.]

You literally just described my entire life and social problems, and I never even new this was a thing. I am so glad to finaly find something that describes what is wrong with me thank you thank you .

[ivana]

He just described my situation so flawlessly... never thought something like that would be possible

[yoonglenoodle]

I just don't know what's wrong with me. There is so much that goes on in my head that neither I nor anyone else understands. I feel isolated. Everyone else is normal, and I just want to be normal.

[lich]

Just spoke my entire life 😔

What Dr. Grande says is true. I always hated people who claimed they had “social anxiety disorder” because they were always fine in situations I regarded as true anxiety inducing phobias. I can’t even look people in the eye, keep up a conversation, or have a first girlfriend. What happened overtime was my anxiety, distrust, paranoia manifested into hatred as I was then labeled as having avoidant personality disorder as well as this “antisocial personality disorder”. I can’t even go outside without feeling either absolutely terrified or incredibly emotionless. Delivering a letter to the post office: never done that. Walking down the street: no way. Driving in a car: only if the windows are tinted pitch black and I have sunglasses. Working: only as a night shift employee when everyone leaves and I’m alone (and no cameras on). It’s tough, being a misanthrope, a troglodyte, and a sufferer of apophenia is debilitating. With all the stress and I don’t expect to l

[jmtz]

Finally I understand I don't have social anxiety as I thought. I have avoidance personality disorder. I'm a very miserable person. Sometimes I have tried to put myself into very insecure social situations like being in a tour with completely unknown people, while I managed to survive and kind of enjoy that experience of 4 days, on most of the trip I felt really bad, at some point those unknown people were making fun of me. I was near to abbort the tour and go back home, but I didnt. Is that suppose to be ok? I mean yes, I did it, but I felt terrible and don't wanna have an experience like that again. It is sad because I have no friends, so if want to travel, that is my only option, travel with unkown people in tours.