emotional abuse: the invisible scars

This course shares 2 research articles examining the impact of the most common form of childhood wounding: emotional abuse and neglect, particularly in terms of PTSD, and with regard to the increase of victimization we are likely to experience in our lives.

The final section of this video offers brief information regarding emotional regulation and dysregulation identification and skills, as they impact us in childhood emotional wounding.

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RESEARCH ARTICLES USED IN THIS VIDEO:

[JRBracy]

For me, silent abuse i.e. neglect and emotional abuse, is devastating because it leaves the person constantly questioning what happened. Currently I'm going through an angry phase - I'm 45 and never had an explanation for my treatment as a kid by two immature, neglectful, alcoholic parents. I'm angry and trying to work through it because I've continued the self neglect into my adult life, as well as allowing others to treat me the same. Your videos have helped tremendously in my understanding of what I went through.

[keithandsmarie]

Emotional abuse is a soul wound. When it transfers into adulthood, it continues to destroy the soul. CPTSD is real. No one seems to be able to adequately treat this... Thank you so much for sharing. I am learning so much from your videos.

[cloudwalker]

One of the worst aspects of emotional wounding is that it often keeps us second-guessing. It's so much harder to make excuses for, or to explain away, the more tangible forms of abuse. If it didn't leave a mark, did it really happen? We drive ourselves crazy trying to validate the invisible, especially when the abuser denies it.

[i.ehrenfest]

Having received both physical and emotional abuse in childhood I can agree unequivocally that the consequences of the emotional abuse are much deeper and longer lasting.

[ayemiksenoj]

I believe one of the biggest reasons why emotional trauma is so difficult and heartbreaking is because of the societal messaging around it.

When you don't suffer physically you're basically inundated with the message, "be grateful because it could've been worse". Or, "you don't matter" because you weren't touched and therefore not hurt.

Then there's always someone you know or love that invalidates your feelings/experiences or tries to "one up" you as if there's some trauma prize to be won.

I had all of this happen to me many times. Daily for a while and have felt like I, as a person don't matter for nearly 40 years and I'm only 45.

I'm working on "it" and myself, but with that lifelong message... I'm just tired. I can't relate to people. I want good and healthy relationships, but I'm running out of energy to find or create them.
I need something easy now.
I need to meet genuine and nice people now.
It should absolutely be as easy to find great relationships as it was to find/be in the ones that messed me up!!
Yes, I know that's pretty much wishful thinking.

[LesleySASMR]

I can’t stand being told that I’m crazy for having so much anxiety and ptsd by my family. Everything in trying to do in this life feels difficult.
Thank you for this video, Kim

[SharkyJ]

Some of us are really not having a good experience here in this lifetime. 😢

[comnandmentsdeadlysins]

I fought back since childhood. From protecting my sibling from abuse to calling out adults on their bad behavior. However I also became a people pleaser perfectionist to get moments of peace and calm in my environment. I did and did everything I could to stop others giving their negativity to me. As a HSP empath I now understand how much I am impacted by the emotions/energy in others. They do not even have to speak for me to feel how they feel. I have taken this part of me and use it to say uplifting words to others to put them at ease so I can stop the dis ease in me.

[Daily_Bread]

This makes so much sense. Emotional abuse and emotional neglect, physical abuse and SA can truly kill the Ego-Soul. And unfortunately that damage can then pass to the next generation. I am so sad how my childhood wounds set me up to struggle as a mother. I wish I knew these things when I was younger.

[emilyc]

I didn't attach the word 'abuse' to my upbringing until 2020. I remember exactly where I was and when I first said it aloud to someone else. Decades, decades of still being caught up in those dynamics before it hit me (after going very low contact). As I went through life if I encountered traumatic situations or similar treatment my mantra was always 'You've dealt with worse, you can tolerate this' or 'It'll be my fault, I need to stay and fix it'. I never said 'This isn't OK, ' instead I people pleased, tried harder, stayed vigilant, stayed put and confused, blocked it out, advocating fiercely for others but never for myself. I wish with all my heart I'd understood more earlier. Walking was the one bit I did, walking always made life make more sense and still does. Thank you as always for your videos.

[juliebrown]

What is freaky about this fact, is when the perpetrator figures out what triggers us, does it on Purpose, delighting in it, and teaches others to do it!!

[cheryldailing]

Even at 57, it's hard for me to watch these because I was a victim of every kind of abuse except sexual. My mother was verbally abusive, physically abusive, emotionally abusive but also emotionally neglectful. I do not want to fight this the rest of my life but that is probably my reality

[cathywestgate-pittsley]

❤❤❤ my Sister just took her life because of living this type of life.😢😢😢

[lisset__]

This breaks my heart. Leaving my small child with her father .. my ex.. is so painful. She is scare of dad. No lawyers or anyone can assist. The system is broken. It was DV non-physical which doesn't make it less hurtful. I am still affected by his abuse.. as it continues to happen post separation . I pretty much pray everyday and have been working and healing for over 5 years

[i.ehrenfest]

There’s been research into people who were in concentration camps in ww2 (I’m European.) And while, obviously, everyone suffered severe emotional consequences, people with bad childhoods were even more deeply impacted than those with happy childhoods.

[lauragadille]

And this why I'm in trauma therapy. This is worse than physical abuse.

[mandasalvaje]

My husband has suffered terrible childhood trauma and for 9 years he’s been projecting those wounds onto me. I’ve overcame my own childhood trauma and became a secure / anxious person. Because of my resilience, I thought I can help him heal. This last argument I’ve found Dr Sage and I learned how severe his issues are and i became a victim of emotional abuse.

[cheryldailing]

I just paused the video because of a thought that came to mind... It's so ironic to me that my mother blames me for the poor choices in men that I've had and other difficulties that occur in my life, but these are directly due to her constant physical, emotional, and verbal abuse

[lisalasers]

Thank you. I approached parenthood the same way and made the same mistakes. It’s painful to live with. And, at 54, i now feel unraveled.

[HeartChannelInsights]

I'm Brazilian and def. among the receivers of emotional abuse and neglect during childhood. I can't talk much about growing up in Brazil after the year 2000, but up to the nineties, yes, emotional abuse and neglect was def. a constant in so many, probably the majority of the families. Lots of old views, people simply did not see emotional, nor even physical abuse, for what they are, let alone neglect. Things were completely normalized and accepted by society. I do believe this has absolutely everything to do with how society was formed after colonization and all the social relational dynamics playing out then and onwwards. Plus lack of access to quality education and international cultures and views by the greater part of the population. There's so much to be said about all that, we could write a whole book on it. Thank you so much for another enlightening and soothing video, Dr. Kim!
🙏💗✨