#8: Emotional Mastery with Dr. Joan Rosenberg

Dr. Joan Rosenberg is the founder of Emotional Mastery and a world-leading expert in the fields of self-confidence, emotional strength, and self-esteem. She has been a featured expert in several documentaries, has a patent in performance skill development, and has helped thousands of people around the world to master their emotions and take control of their lives.

It was so fun to dive into these topics because many of the things Dr. Rosenberg suggests are quite literally the foundation of what I did to transform my own confidence and emotions, so get ready for a super-practical episode with lots of food for thought!

Max Out Insights:
We can`t always choose how we feel, but we`re in control of how we respond – how we manage it and how we express it
Metaphorically (or actually) hiding in your bed to escape your emotions is (who would have thought!) not a good strategy. To release emotions, we need to engage with them
Unpleasant emotions exist because they are protective in nature
Acknowledging our unpleasant emotions helps us feel whole as opposed to half a person because we try to cut off half of our feelings
The most common unpleasant feelings or states:
Sadness
Shame
Helplessness
Anger
Vulnerability
Embarassment
Disappointment
Frustration
Naming the emotions we feel lessens their impact and makes it easier to deal with them
How to bring awareness to your feelings:
How am I feeling?
What triggered this?
What is it connected to?
Is there something from the past this is linked to?
How to transform your feelings using the Rosenberg Reset: 1 Choice, 8 Feelings, 90 Seconds
Choice: Awareness instead of avoidance: Lean into your feelings
8 feelings: Tune in to understand what exactly you are feeling
90 seconds: We experience feelings through bodily sensations (for example the heat in your throat/face when you get embarassed) that are short-lived and transient, lasting only about 90 seconds as a neurochemical reaction before flushing out. Therefore, the way to handle unpleasant emotions is to ride one or more short-lived bodily sensation waves
In the short-term, leaning into your dark side feelings can be a powerful motivator. However, be sure to use this only in acute moments because overdoing it may be detrimental to your happiness and joy over the long run
Confidence is an internal job. While outside praise can help, it`s only by mastering our inner world that we develop true confidence
The first foundation of confidence is the ability to handle unpleasant emotions. The second is to speak up with ease and assert yourself
You develop confidence by speaking up. You don`t need to be confident first, your confidence develops out of the act of you speaking.
Being harshly self-critical is exponentially more detrimental than experiencing unpleasant emotions

Max Out Quotes:
„I don`t consider unpleasant feelings as bad or negative because I know they are protective.“
„The ability to deal with unpleasant emotions is the foundation of confidence.“
„Confidence is the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you face or whatever your pursue.“
„Difficulty speaking up is not a speaking problem. Difficulty speaking up is a difficulty with unpleasant feelings problem.“