Should you foster-to-adopt? | Adopting from Foster Care

Adopting from foster care is a great opportunity to help a child and grow your family. However, the concept of foster-to-adopt can be problematic. Let's talk about the issues with this adoption mindset and alternatives to help you pursue adoption for your family!

📣 Comment Policy
I created this channel as a space to encourage others. I truly believe that even if we have differing views, we can still get along and be kind. That being said, any hurtful, mean, offensive, or malicious comments will be deleted.

Thanks so much for watching!

-Katie

[silverraindropper]

I just love the bells that you hear ringing during Christmas time, and everything that comes with the season. I don’t necessarily have a favorite Christmas song.

[Travelwithamberrae]

We are a legal risk home, which is similar to foster to adopt but different because they do not enter our home until the goal is no longer reunification. We just completed our adoption. It was amazing and I’m happy with how we did it.

[Adulting.exe]

I'm only 23 but I want to adopt a child waiting for a family when I am in my 30s. I have heard of foster to adopt through researching foster care adoptions. I really love your channel because it has been very helpful for preparing when the time comes. Also baby it's cold outside is my current favorite Christmas song

[katdenning]

My husband & I are planning to adopt from foster care.

We don’t want to foster parent at all though because our autistic kiddos really struggle with environmental instability.

We decided straight adoption is better for our family.

[KatTheo]

IMO, foster-to-adopt drives disruptions since foster parents will find a reason to get rid of you if you don't fit into their family. They also view your behavior and likes/interests as your parents not as a child they are caring for temporarily. I aged out of the foster care system and was in 8 homes in 6 years. At least 4 of those homes were foster parents who seemed the reason they were fostering was to adopt. One disrupted because I decided I didn't want to go to church. Technically they were supposed to allow foster kids to choose their own religion or not be part of their religion, but they didn't see it that way. I was technically able to be adopted (my mom became disabled after a drug overdose and my biodad died in a car accident) but I didn't really want that. But those placement didn't know that until I was placed with them. They heard about me - I was a good student, no major issues and probably thought I was perfect except I was a teen. And I get that if you want to adopt, why waste a bed on a kid that doesn't want to be part of your family? Reunification was impossible - my mom wasn't able to care for herself and could barely talk or walk. Since I didn't have any potential kinship placements, adoption really was the only option since where I was (Ohio), the few foster homes were all foster-to-adopt. I ended up in essentially a group home that was far worse conditions than when I was living with my mom. I didn't feel loved in any foster home - and it was always like oil and water and foster parents never tried to get to know me, they tried to change me to fit into their families (all were very religious and I was a really huge anime fan). I had so many foster parents spend more time trying to convince me anime was bad and preaching about Jesus than anyone spending time doing anything I liked. It was always this fight to be able to see anime I wanted or get manga comics. My guess is if I was going to be their adoptive daughter, they wouldn't allow their daughter to do the things I liked, so thus I needed to change and when I didn't, I got moved to another home. I really think adoption and foster care need to be separate.

[danielleg]

I’m about half way through training to be a dually-approved parent and I am hoping to adopt, but not at the expense of a capable bio parent. The training all seems very clear, so far, that the process is a selfless one. You really have to leave your ego at the door to be successful. It sounds like you agree!

[FosterFathersPodcast]

It’s such a complicated situation. Thanks so much for sharing this!!❤

[gailmorgan]

1- As a support worker with families in the system, I was firmly corrected by a case worker when I said the family goal was reunification. I was told I was being presumptuous and assuming the case goals before investigation was complete. That opened my eyes to NOT paint every family with the same brush.

2-some states will not allow you to adopt without being a foster parent. My state is one of them. So there’s families who are trying to adopt some of the already TPR’d kids.

[moriahjohnson]

As someone getting licensed to foster to adopt my thought process is that while waiting for the opportunity to adopt I would love to be able to help other children as well

[AshleyArchibald]

Thanks for the mention! Yeah. The situation here in Rural NV is dire.

[irun]

This holiday season my favorite song is Christmas Roses. Very informative video, thanks!

[deboraofriedrich]

Last Christmas, love that song. And thank you for this videos. Really helpful.

[toric]

Judy Garland- “Have yourself a Merry little Christmas” ❤

[Biggestgayestbird]

I really appreciate your willingness to challenge the assumptions a little of folks have about foster to adopt! Thank you!

[MemoriesbyMT]

Hey New subscriber here, just watching hearing what tips different ppl have that have been through the adoption journey. My favorite is all I want for Christmas is you! 🎶🤗

[shanasayer]

I would like to adopt a child, can you help me on how you did it.

[asianmix]

W3 d8d thought about doing the waiting children unfortunately we're straggling getting accepted from local agencies due to divorces issues just to get license .so we opted with foster to adopt

[AlliePries]

You can still be licensed to only foster and go the foster to adopt route while avoiding these “problems” that you’re discussing. This is what my husband and I are doing now. We are a licensed foster home here in Ohio working with a private agency. We are only willing to accept placements where the parental rights have already been terminated. We will foster them for 6 months and then be able to adopt them. There is no risk with going this route of foster to adopt because the children are already legally freed to be adopted and parental rights have been terminated.

[noodles]

My siblings were adopted by their first foster mom ❤ but it was a super super long 3 year battle with my mom because she didn't want to let go of them. It was a heartbreaking time for me because now they're no longer my "siblings" legally speaking

[daedrianlipscomb]

My favorite Christmas song is Carol of the Bells!!!