The self-serving narcissistic enabler

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[robinellison]

I've always gotten comfort from this Dante quote : "“The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in times of moral crisis, maintain their neutrality." :)

[libs]

Sometimes these people are worse than the narcissist. The best thing is to leave the group, disengage, just stop playing the game. Thank you Dr Ramani

[karmivavirhe]

Sometimes enablers are protecting themselves from the narcissist's bullying and are willing to throw you on the line instead. They do what the narcissist wants because they are actually afraid (or cowards)

[lilylady]

Narc enablers will easily/ happily throw others under the bus to continue getting the “gifts” they get from the narc. All they care about is themselves.

[SapphireZeev]

It’s amazing how the enabler will complain about the narcissist and how they treat them but if you and the narcissist have an issue. Then the enabler is triangulated and then targets you and listens to the narcissist’s warped view of the world.

[foxfirelabradors]

And now I understand how narc politicians stay in office. They hand out just enough goodies.

[ari-jv]

This type of enabler has the mentality of “well you’re not gonna pay my bills or hook me up with connections, like the narcissist is, so ill just turn a blind eye”

[annag]

"There is no neutrality in abuse and enabling." Thank you

[claire_eve]

My mother was the narcissist and my dad was the enabler. Not sure which one did me more damage tbh. 💔

[sarajohn]

I hate enablers. Without them there’s no Narcissist.

[rumanaganiyani]

What's worse than the narcissists are the enablers. Not gonna lie!

[toni-leeblair]

I've always been an outsider, in my family. It was lonely, isolating, painful and confusing. At 58.. I wear the "outsider" badge with pride. I'm the truth teller and I'm nothing like them!.., I'm free! 🌻

[nicelydone]

Enablers don't want justice, they just want quiet.

[goldilocks]

“Low self esteem is a terrible thing to waste” ~Every narcissist ever

[pokette]

It's good to see other people recognize that remaining neutral is _not_ inherently mature and fair. I'm pretty young, and the number of people over the age of 25 who think this is somehow the best option under nearly any circumstances is astounding. I like to call it "pseudo-maturity", because boy the frequency with which I observe it requires I put a name to it. It's not level-headed to invalidate somebody's experience when they're just trying to talk, and telling them they "might be at fault too" since "nobody's perfect" when they're already upset. Yeah, nobody is perfect— which is exactly why you can't say somebody's at fault for not living up to the unrealistic and conceptually unprovable standard of perfection. Would you claim a murder victim was at fault too, just because he'd taken a paperclip from the murderer without asking? No, that's not how fault works, and I'm really tired of this form of socially acceptable and even socially encouraged invalidation

[carolyngartner]

I find that my main challenge has switched from the narcissist to the enablers. I have gone no contact with the narcissist, but the enablers still continue the abuse on their behalf.
What a shock this has been! Now it looks like I have to go no contact with the enablers as well.

[SSTSSG]

"Yep. Enablers are abusers too. They're watching someone hold your head underwater and saying 'My life would be so much easier if you could stop complaining and just drown'..."- Reddit 'Raised By Narcissists' comment

[javiervidal]

Dr Ramani is doing a great community service by posting these videos. They are well made, educational, and helpful to so many people who are struggling in these toxic relationships at home and at work. Thank you Dr Ramani!

[seaturtletyronda]

So grateful for this content. I lived the life that she explains being the "scapegoat". It is so liberating to know it is not me! It never was me! I'm not crazy! 🎉 I'm even more free!

[microdosenyc]

This hit home HARD. My mom almost killed me in a narc rage (I have the scar on my head to prove it) HOWEVER she is the person in the family who has the money, who helps the people, who does THE things…. I’ve lived surrounded by family members who gaslighted me about my own abuse, because they were benefiting materially (real estate). A bleeding, needy autistic 9 year old child is WAY TOO inconvenient, when you’re an immigrant set on making money in the new country. I never looked at the self serving aspect of it…. But EVERYONE benefits from my mother’s kindness and business acumen (a golden cage I am trying to break free from) I honestly ache when I think about how awful it must have been for me (I “forgot “ about the abuse….until I shaved my head) being surrounded by adults who had something to gain if they didn’t speak up for me.