What kind of support system do you need when healing from a narcissistic relationship?

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[olgab]

I lost 2 friends during the healing period. They were tired of me ruminating, and one of my friends said that while I was ruminating he might have been already building a healthy relationship, it hurt me a lot. Ruminating is the worst and most exhausting thing to experience, you want to turn your brain off but just can’t, that’s simply hell.

[mashagolubchik]

OMG, this is me… 😩 Never heard of this term - rumination! I’ve been told to “snap out of it”, “to let it go”, “why do you behave like a victim”. I was diagnosed with PTSD and don’t know how to get out of this. I hate rethinking over and over conversations, incidents, etc.

[priscillavanblarcom]

Accurate! I'm finding myself cutting off ties with people that tell me, "I'm sick of hearing about him" or "let it go". These same people just keep dumping their issues on me but do not want to help me through my issues.

[raquelmariottini]

I hosnestly think it never goes away… we actually learn from these relationships and we start to be aware about everything and everyone. The healthy thing to do is to learn how to trust again… not everyone one is a narcisist!

[sadia]

Watching your videos is becoming the highlight of my day and helps me stay focused on my commitment to healing ♥️ thank you.

[sparkygump]

My support system has been my Beagle. She keeps me on my toes, is a great listener and love sponge.

[tierraalston-johnson]

One of my non-negotiables in establishing my found family after going no-contact with my family of origin: you will not rush my healing. Anyone who attempts to use tough love or brutal honesty in an attempt to snap me out of rumination or survival mode is kept at arm's length. There's nothing anyone can say or do to instantly "fix me." Healing is a journey. No one can take those steps for us, but they can walk with us along the way.

[Eapp]

Dr.Ramani I speak on behalf of ALL of US
YOU ARE A GODSEND ❤

[richardleedrums]

"Time will heal. There's more than one fish in the sea. You're better off without her.  It's not really her you miss. Just let it / her go. At least she's no longer in your life. Snap out of victimhood mentality. Put yourself out there and date again. You deserve better than that. You're empowering her over you again." Etc etc etc... Like most of us, I've probably heard it all. And it hurts, and piles up on top of the trauma, the ruminating, and the longing.

[IngeborgSchmitz]

So true! Healing takes a lot of time and can't be rushed by others. While out of the narcissistic relationship I finally see the impact of it clearly. It's tremendous and needs to be addressed. I only need someone to listen, some validation and the feeling of being loved. No advice or solutions. I have to figure it out myself. After 8 months of healing I really see the progress and it makes me very proud.

I couldn't have done it without you dr. Ramani. Thank you so much for your help!

[angelakh]

It really helped me when I read Bessel van Der Kolk’s book “The Body Keeps the Score.” In it he talks about how Viet Nam combat veterans in the 70’s would tell their stories over and over to each other during group sessions. I read that, and it made me feel like I wasn’t weak or crazy.

[BonesAndButtons]

There is so much power in just listening. And saying good, positive things about that person. They have been so brainwashed by the narcissist to believe they are bad/ worthless/stupid/inferior they NEED to hear the positive things.

[ashleyann]

The hardest part was talking to a friend of mine who’s a hypnotherapist and been a huge part of my healing. She left an abusive husband so I didn’t think she would react the way she did. She continued to push me into are you avoiding conflict and you should just set boundaries and be blunt with the narcissist. I realized after she was not the friend to talk to. Another friend of mine listened and then gave me a resource to a friend she had. I made the decision early on to tell 5 people total and see what happens. It’s hard to stand on your own but I realize that being able to truthfully speak about what’s happening is the support I needed for myself so I stop denying or pushing the truth under the rug. ❤️

[marieborchardt]

I don't ruminate as much as I used to, but I don't think I'll ever "get over" my traumatic experiences with narcissistic people in my life.
I don't feel the need to share my feelings about this as often with my support people, but there are times I really need an empathetic ear. I'm grateful to have friends who'll listen even if they don't really "get it", but I've learned which ones to turn to in time of need.
For me, this will be a part of me now for the rest of my life. It's not all a bad thing, it's good to be aware.

[MimiB]

It's still somewhat amazing that, what "works" with "normal" people/relationships, doesn't for toxic ones. You could probably "put things behind you" in a normal situation, but it's so much harder with trauma, toxicity and abuse. It makes sense, but in another way, it is still confounding.

[jbtoptc]

It has been 3 years since my divorce after being with her for 12 years. I have discussed (ruminated) about the hell I endured through the marriage and especially how I was treated in the legal system to a few close friends and select family members and even my pastor. They all have been " worn out" and have said to "just get over it". I equate narcissistic treatment as if you were willing to take a bullet for someone you love only to realize they were holding the gun. If they only I would not wish this treatment on anyone. Good health and peace to all who have endured.

[dee]

I remember a therapist once told me to ignore it. She never pin pointed I was dealing with Narcissistic abuse. I am glad God showed me the truth by using videos like these so now I am finally healing. 🙌🏻☀️

[stephena]

What helped me was realising how very predictable the narcissist was. Being able to predict how it behaves was remarkably empowering. To see it as an habitual pattern, not just a confusing jumble of various, unconnected, distinct details.

[cristinagonzalez]

It's very difficult healing from narcissistic abuse. You get traumatized. You ruminate. You feel that you aren't good enough. You lack of self esteem. I'm still on it: trying to heal.
Thanks Dr Ramani and please continue explaining the way to heal.🙏

[realhealing]

Thank you for this video! Healing from a narcissistic relationship takes time. I have very supportive friends but I can see they are tired of listening to my story. And moving on isn't easy. Dealing with narcissists does serous mental damage. I will never be the same. My life has changed and so have I.