Perfectionism

Perfectionism
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[anniechin]

Hi Dan the Mindset Man, love the Call yesterday! Perfectionism in my entire life was out of this world! It was a coping mechanism of the way I grewup! To be perfect in everything I did and no matter what I did it wasn’t perfect enough! I was so hard on myself so badly, so much pressure! Since joining this group a little over a year my turning point was not putting so much pressure on myself as I finally realized it wasn’t helping me. So you see this is part of the journey learning so much about ourselves and personality traits that no longer serve me on this journey! Plus I’m loving myself at 60 yrs old! Thank you Dan for all you do ❤

[dr.amitabhamukherjee]

Dan, thank you from the bottom of my heart. When you said 'you are all wonderful people' as you were wrapping this one up, I choked up.

[TheVaultwest]

You reminded us recently that this recovery thing is messy. There aren’t straight lines or direct routes and the ETA is totally unknown. To stay with airplane analogy, a good one

One of the sweet ppl in here recently reminded us to celebrate any success, no matter how big or small.

Both of those things, understanding that there’s no perfect way of doing any of this and that we need to celebrate and be so crazy proud of ourselves, they’re both vital in getting better.

I love how all the messages mesh with each other and keep making the fabric of the recovery process stronger. These lessons are for life, not only to recover from symptoms.

Mirror neurons, i yawn every time 😂🥱🤍

[visionseeker]

Videos like this are why I love youtube. So hard to find now. Great video, I rewatched it.👍

[jessicalynn]

Hi Dan. Thank you for digging into this topic!
I talked to my counselor about perfectionism and she shared that it is one of many responses to shame. I found this very interesting and am working on learning self compassion. (It feels unnatural but it is a process like anything. My counselor suggested carrying around a childhood picture and imagining talking to her if I am struggling.

Joining group coaching soon and am looking forward to that! Thanks for your consistency and encouragement, especially the reminder that its not our fault❤

[STBUCKLEY]

Love all your perfect imperfections, it's what makes you, YOU ❤

[Hinz]

Perfectly timed, as always! This morning I journaled about perfectionism. I grew up as an athlete, with most of my time spent in gymnastics and cheerleading. PERFECT is the name of the game. Every part of your body positioned perfectly. A smile on your face as you hold someone who is 95% of your weight above your head. Or somersaulting on a beam that is 4” wide… with a smile. So I learned from the age of 4 to LOOK and BE perfect, all while smiling. I don’t regret my time in sport, but I have really had to acknowledge the impact on my behaviors in the years since. What is awesome is letting go of perfectionism HAS liberated me in so many ways. I’m still me: fiercely organized and driven, but I no longer pretend that every freaking moment is peachy keen. It isn’t and that is OKAY. Great message Dan. Thank you!!

[meganobrien]

This was absolutely gold 🙏🙌
A saying I heard that rings true "Perfectionism is the thief of joy" -i remind myself of that sometimes and it
puts things in perspective because it really is true

[Inge]

Why do people develop perfectionism ?

In my case because of coping with the feeling of being not seen, not heard, not validated by my caregiver’s.. that resulted in wanting to prove them and the world that I was worthy and so I became perfectionist.. in my school, in my job I was applauded for that and silly me thought that was a super quality..
Now I know it is a curse, something that drives you to reach the unreachable !
Unlearning perfectionism is the best I could do for myself..
Just like my grandmother always said: just be you, that’s enough..’
Thanks for the video Dan after a long workday !🌻🌻🌻

[privateperson]

Good one Dan. Actually hated myself for years. How awful. Still struggle to love myself. No more "shoulds" tho right. No more beating myself up right. i have actually started journalling - Nicole's journal speak ..after saying journalling isn't my thing..I think it is good for me so far - it is not depressing me, the guided meditation after is so much more meaningful now too.

[AvaGreenFeather]

Good morning 🥱 and thank you, Dan! 🙏😊🛩️

Being gentle with myself is something I'm learning right now. I tend to expect more from myself than I would from others.

[kathystoner]

I absolutely love the group coaching! I find I learn so much from the group coaching and love hearing everyone's wins!

[TheVaultwest]

… and, our perfect imperfections make up the wholeness of who we are. Earlier in the journey, i thought i needed to change everything about me to get better. Now i know i just need to love and accept me and all the parts. A little change is good, a makeover is an attempt to erase what i don’t like instead of loving all of me into wellness

[donnablatman]

Dan - love the airplane analogy - that's what I'm doing, self correcting/tweaking the process as I see what is working and what's not working for me and how to improve it so I can continue to progress to PFY town...:).

[ConsciousGrowing]

This came in the perfect moment. Thank you Dan☀️

[chrisandpetehall]

Hi Dan. I love the analogy of the flight path of a plane. I shall definitely use it in future. In the past, I've always felt I've fallen into a hole, and had to climb out, when I was having colourful sensations. Your plane flight path image is far preferable than that of falling into a hole. Also, hearing you talk about self love made me realise that I actually do like myself now. That's a huge move for me. I spent many years putting my needs last and not taking care of my own. This plane might be getting older but the pilot is gradually getting more experience at adjusting the flight path.

[maatjederegt]

Thank you Dan for this wonderful and comforting message.❤

[kathleenwharton]

There is No Perfect person! Though I have sure Tried! I Love Me! Let Go! Just Be! Thank You..Dan! 😊❤

[bethhenderson]

I'll remember that plane!!! Thanks Dan!

[Lenneke-bt]

Hi Dan perfectionist me???? Hard on myself??? Oh yes and to the last one no. I am learning through your teachings that perfectionism does not exit. This tms journey is about how to love me with all my imperfections. A couple of moths ago I was soo hard on myself with this TMS work watched all day videos reading many books etc got me nowhere except put soo much pressure on my self. Now I trust the proces and don't know when I am going to get better and that is ok. Also I understand so good this is not my fault. Self love I am learning by little baby steps. My whole life I am been soo hard on myself and on my body. Not anymore all because of this tms work. I am so grateful being on this journey. Because I am learning more and more and getting to know me that alone is amazing so yes I keep flying this airplane and if of course I correct it. I am getting to know amazing lovely people including you sweet Dan. I can go on and on but.... Love you Dan and everyone else a big hug and smile from me see you all tomorrow 😘😘😘