Six Signs of Perfectionism - Healthy vs. Extreme

With healthy perfectionism, you push yourselves to be excellent and you set high goals for yourself. You can even overdo it sometimes when you try to meet these goals by losing sleep or neglecting other obligations. In this video I talk about six facets of perfectionism.

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References

Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.

[maleficentpangolin]

You wouldn't think perfectionism and procrastination would go together but man, they are best friends. Watching this video while I'm up two hours early, downloading the work files that I'll be submitting fifteen minutes before they're due this afternoon. lol

[deborahmillette]

I’m so overwhelmed with failure of perfectionism that it actually paralyzes me from taking the first step to being organized. It’s. living hell .

[REChronic]

My perfectionism developed and was reinforced because my parents response to my mistakes as I grew up was anger. When I learned skills, I was expected to get it right away or to be better than other people. It’s possibly why I get overwhelmed easily at jobs or getting college degrees; there’s way too many things I feel I need to be perfect at.

[arraine]

Perfectionism is also a HUGE factor in binge eating disorder. An attempt at perfection in eating is what causes so many of those binges in the first place.

[ArnisKaye]

I struggle with perfectionism to the point where it's debilitating. Mistakes are complete failures to me. I think mine is so bad because of a narcissistic parent who punished me when things weren't done exactly right. And being raised in a fundamentalist religion where mistakes were seen as sins. Even your thoughts and emotions had to be perfect or you were considered displeasing to god. I don't live with my parents nor am I religious anymore, but I still can't get past my need for perfection as a way of validation and worth.

[sharonw]

Wow!!! I've been doing this all my life! I feel frozen to start something unless I have absolutely everything I may need for the task, whether I actually use it or not or just put it off and put it off. I procrastinate until the last minute, then completely fall apart from the pressure and work frantically until finished which leaves me totally exhausted. I then beat myself up about how if I started the project beforehand, I could have done a better job! Thank you Doc for bringing this up xx

[Cavegeckosol]

My trouble is that if I make a mistake, especially if it is observed by others, I have a visceral, immediate desire to literally die. If I am in a safe place, I usually just let it run its course. I am aware that it goes away and is temporary. My big fear is that I will be in a not so safe place when it hits...

[bruh]

I had to laugh when you said your parents live in your head because it's so true. They live in my head rent free

[marvalousmarva]

I do have perfectionist tendencies. However, I temper with it saying I strive for excellence. Which gives allowance for mistakes. I know that I am giving it my all. You can experience perfect moments.

[DemetriPanici]

*”Perfect is the Enemy of Good” - Voltaire*

[MsPrincessaj]

I think that many of us who grew up with narcissistic parents that led us to become co-dependent have experienced these facets of perfection, especially number 5. This can be debilitating for life, as I have had my share of struggle with perfectionism, procrastination, overthinking and anxiety. Thank you Dr. Marks for your teaching and for providing the resources to aid in our healing.

[JoTheHuman]

I'm not sure how to put it, but my perfectionism comes in the form of me setting high standards with my studies and personal projects, then procrastinating on them because of how overwhelmed I would feel about them. I also set high standards to how I behave with others, and when I made even the slightest mistake I start thinking that I'm the worse and that nobody likes me. I'm sincerely my worst critic.

[jinxxer]

This makes so much sense! I've stopped doing so many things I enjoy, and it's jarring to realize it's just because I'm afraid I won't be good at it. I read somewhere that a way to fight perfectionism & artist's block or writer's block is simply to do the thing & do it badly on purpose. Give yourself that freedom, to be bad at something. The world won't end, no one has to know, , and chances are you'll do it again - and again. It breaks the paralysis. It works for me.

[Cathy-xicb]

Gifted adults are often perfectionistic. They can imagine a level of performance and want to reach what they can imagine. This is driven by their gifted brain, not a character flaw. It gets wonky when they cannot accept that not every project has to be amazing, and not every person in their life agrees on that level of performance.

[heliotropephoenix]

It took me two hours to get through this video because I identified with most of this and needed time to process before I could continue. Every 30 seconds to 1 minute I was clutching my invisible pearls in utter amazement. This video was extremely helpful but whew…

[hyperplaguerat]

Ignoring the positive is something I'm pretty guilty of. I struggle to acknowledge anything positive I do for long. I tend to focus on how I'm not doing enough or mistakes I made.

[akashpathak]

i am generally very enthusiastic at the starting of the day but by the end of the day am all up exhausted due to this perfectionism thing.

[mixxstix]

I never understand why I developed this with extremely little parental criticism. I graduated college with 8 distinctions and soon after had a mental breakdown from all the stress I caused myself 🙃

[pauloperes]

Dr. Marks might not be perfectionistic, but her work on mental health education is excellent. Thank you so much.

[bymihaelapuscas]

I remember the days when I was a perfectionist and how that took me to deep depression, not any more, now ''I try my best'' it's enough for me! Perfection doesn't exists and even if it would, it would be so boring! xx