Chronic Guilt + Analysing the Past

How OCD can latch onto gaps of uncertainty in your past and will find anything to make you feel chronically stuck and unworthy.

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[claremason]

Listened to this for 20 seconds and already it has helped me as I experience this . Thank you so much

[DrewVsks]

When I get sense of happiness, that pit in my stomach starts to get worse, and starts searching in detail for all the past mistakes that I have made. Then I lock onto it, and dive straight back into the rabbit hole of endless guilt for past actions I can’t change, and then fear of uncertainly for those past actions somehow coming back to haunt me in the future. Feels like I’m walking on egg shells. Trying really hard though to not let it interfere with my life, but everyday is a struggle.

[bluntmn]

Real event is absolutely insane. The whole thing you described about latching onto your thoughts about what age you were really hits hard. Probably thousands of hours I have spent going over the same mental cycle trying to figure out what age I was. And then deciding. Trying to recall reference points in my memories to give me a clue. Nope. Infinite loop.

[Hawkeye]

Oh god this type of OCD is killing me, the 'why wasn't I worried about this before?' got me

[killa]

This man is literally the best therapist I've ever encountered on YouTube matter of fact in my life

[klanderkal]

Oh wow.! This description is how ive been, i recently just tried to avoid retirement, and I was able to... > then i had sabatoging thoughts!! And catastrophed my mind... i called back in panic mode and retired myself.! NO NO NO!!! I cannot believe I did that to myself!!!... My fears were of small little requirements i needed to do... but my Stressed, anxiety mind thought they were nearly impossible., but weren't!!! I lost my mind.!! I went into horrible depression and terrible anxiety!!... i ruminate the moment., and the negative thoughts, and the coulda shouda wouldas!!!.. it's been months of 24/7 suffering!!! Im in terrible mental pain. I definitely cannot make things better, . I want to go back to my job!! My friends, my structure, my purpose, my lifestyle!!... not sure if i can go on with this suffering !! Ruminating now all the negative mistakes I've made in my life.!!! 😖

[Sean-xrxj]

So insanely relatable. Every single thing you said is completely accurate - not allowing myself peace because I don't deserve it because I actually did do something terrible.

[borlove]

I’m so thankful for this video ❤ Thank you!
I hope you know you’ve helped many people.

[cenecasful]

This is me. It means so much to hear these words. Thank you for sharing this video. Ive been isolating and shaming but I know that I will get through this. Thank you.

[justmadeit]

I think that us with ocd remember memories and anything that made us feel uneasy, even it it was 25 or 30 years ago is lodged in our memory and you may even forget it for long periods of time if you finally go through a happy patch in life, but then it comes back, especially when we feel vulnerable or depressed, or it could be stuff from just a few years ago that we remember, either way its torment. Our mind turns against us with torment and worry which can lead to huge depression and it can get scary.

[brandons]

Incredible how accurate this is. This is my experience 100%

[DJDitty]

I feel like every interaction with another person makes me think the world and that person would be better off without me

[paperchasindude]

Good lord I’ve been doing this every second for almost 3 years. I feel seen

[devon]

I noticed my OCD constantly changes to something else. Like if I can’t remember something from recent memory my mind goes back years and years

[lanaroberts]

Sounds exactly like me. It’s making me so miserable. Feel I don’t deserve to live. Trying to get some help

[pete-wvmu]

I wish my OCD would shut up. It will not even allow me to keep myself occupied to try, and silence it.

[ardillarabiosa]

Thanks for giving visibility to us who suffer of harm ocd. I really feel what you are talking about all that guilt but please let me know how can I overcome it? I haven’t found the right therapist :(

[omnipresent]

Well now, this is interesting. I feel that by luck I've somehow been... lucid enough to enter just the right words to look up this endless (mind) addiction I've had for years now. Really hoping that you/others can put me on the right track... hmmm, lets see how to condense... Virtually anytime I have one of those somewhat stressed events in life wherein I end up 'losing it' sure enough, not long afterwards I review the event and near always find a flaw in my disposition... even when anyone I talk to says I had ever right to 'have my say'. Not that this happens often, in fact I've always been at pains to avoid confrontation. I literally HATE confrontation. So as my search term was 'dealing with guilt complex' have I got this right?

[thanujathanu]

I have made some mistake in my personal life, i am feeling guilty of that mistake, thoughts are keep ruminating whole a lot of days what should i do?
I am feeling like telling to someone may feel better, i did that too, still thought are like you made a great mistake, you broke the trust of your parents like these, but i haven't made such a great sin, but why those thoughts keep ruminating don't know, i just stucked in that cycle

[SenshiYorimoto]

Its Almost like u are in my mind by telling all those things, because thats exactly whats going on in my mind for years now. The only diffrence is, i knew i was a Kid at that time ( 10-11yo) and i asked my newhbie, after he touched the certain area and idk laughed somehow and found it funny, who was 5-6 yo to Kiss my Genital area, which he tryed and declined after that and we just stopped and kept playing video games like nothing happend. And since i remb the memory i started to concern about being a pedo while i for Sure can say im 100% not. Still the thought comes everytime and makes my present life realy tough because im afraid if the loops keeps going i might End up being this kind of shit person i never wanted to be.