Supporting a Foster Teen Survivor

Sensitive topic: Today I am sharing some ways you can support a teen survivor in your home.

“Several localized studies demonstrate the startling implications of the pervasiveness of sexual abuse in the foster care system:

-A John Hopkins University study of a group of foster children in Maryland found that children in foster care are four times more likely to be sexually abused than their peers not in this setting, and children in group homes are 28 times more likely to be abused.

-An Oregon and Washington state study determined that almost one-third of foster children reported abuse by a foster parent or another adult in the home.

-Researchers of a study of investigations of abuse in New Jersey foster homes, concluded that “no assurances can be given” that any foster child in the state is safe.

More than half of child sex trafficking victims recovered through FBI raids across the U.S. in 2013 were from foster care or group homes.”

Have you supported a survivor in your home? 💛⬇️ Please feel free to share how you supported them in the comments below so we may all continue to learn.

#fostercare #fosterparent #fosterparenting #fosterchild #fosterkid #fosterfamily #resourcefamily #resourcehome #kinshipcare #kinship #relativecare

Find Me on Social Media:

[haileybalmer]

Yo, as a former foster teen myself, I deeply appreciate this. My foster mom did as best she knew, but she put a lot of pressure on me to be grateful. I’m sure you know, that can be very triggering. I was grateful, sure, but I was processing a lot and felt like I was never showing enough appreciation to be in a situation I did not want to be in at all.

[silasbjrnsen]

I've got a close family member who is a teen whos gone through this. I'm not their foster parent, but I want to help them as much as possible. I'll be referring to this when I can. Thank you for posting this!

[feathered_turtle]

I’m a teenager. I’ve never been in foster care, but my parents haven’t always been… great. The worst of it’s over now (I think, I hope) but I’m still majorly messed up in the head, from that and other things. Hearing this… I’ve met only one person like this, who’d say and do and listen like this, and we only spoke over call for an hour or two. It was both incredible and *terrifying*.I felt safe, I felt my age, and it scared me so much because it’s dangerous to feel that way. It feels like that for me.

Thank you, on behalf of all those you’ve helped through such hard times in their young lives. It feels like a book, to meet these amazing people in real life, because that attitude and mannerisms feel like something I’d read in a comfort book or maladaptive daydream about. It’s surreal.

Thank you. Keep doing this, please.

[becca]

I am an almost 40 year old survivor and these things are exactly what I wish I would have heard back still are making an impact to me today

[channah]

I deeply appreciated that you made note of letting teens communicate through a bedroom door, and that it's important to give them spaces that you don't enter without being invited. Whenever teens landed in the transition home where I lived as the caring adult, the biggest boost to them was having a bedroom that they were in control of. It made them feel safe, and then they opened up more quickly because they had a little landing pad that they could work from.

[sherisellars]

54 year old survivor and watching this, when you got to the end portion, made me cry. I was blamed for it happening in the first place. Nobody cared that I was just a little girl and had no idea that I had even been assaulted.

[Raindropsinvalencia]

Laura shared a bunch of statistics in the video description, but here are two that struck me especially hard-

About 9% of kids enter the system because of SA (sexual abuse).

More than half of child sex trafficking victims recovered through FBI raids across the U.S. in 2013 were from foster care or group homes.

More than half. Let that really sink in.

[ofyourbluesky]

I watch your content when I'm struggling with self compassion. It's so helpful to have a compassionate model for how to speak to an inner child

[anacoanagoldenflower]

Thank you for these! I'm a therapist who works with traumatized teenagers, many with CPS involvement in one way or another, and I plan to foster teenagers so this was great to see!

[sewamazing]

This is great unfortunately I went through the same thing but as a young child, still haunts me to this day. Praying for all the people that's gone through this 🙏❤

[tracyeehollister]

I truly believe if I would have had a foster mother like you my life would have been so much better! You're loving and supportive! In one Foster home I ate Ramen noodles mushroom flavored everynight for dinner and the family ate whatever they were having that night for dinner! Not to mention I was allowed 2 a showers a week! They lived in a trailer in the middle of a junk car lot that they sold parts of the old cars! The trailer was filthy and much more...thank you for being a wonderful woman and a great foster mom

[sisofaMarine]

I wish all the foster families were caring and kind like you. I've heard many stories of bad experiences and added trauma from friends who were in foster care. Thank you for what you do.

[CatsMeow]

This is great advice for supporting survivors. I also think applied more broadly, some of this is common sense that we can apply to our families - foster or not. Thanks for putting these videos out, with specific examples. I've heard so much vague advice to "give a child space" or "create a safe environment" - but what that can look like on a granular level is hard to visualize. You do it so well, and give us small ways to tweak our behavior right away. Keep it up - the world needs more.

[shalvahmbmacdonald]

So thoughtful & respectful. This is how you help someone regain their dignity.

[brittanybrassard]

I wish I had you as a foster mom Laura! I had many and they were very different. They told me not to make up stories about my abuse. It was years later that I was out of foster care that I was actually believed that abuse happened and now know it wasnt my fault but wish i had someone like you that would have validated me

[GlitterEnby]

Crying so hard. I wasn't in foster care but needed someone to care about me this way growing up as a survivor of multiple types of abuse.

[katielear]

Amazing video as always Laura. Love how you add information and comfort to your videos. You are making the world a better place with each and every video you post <3

[GenRN]

Laura you are such a beautiful model of how to mother. I have teens that are fortunate to have never been in a foster situation. I mother very much like you and have wonderful relationships with each child/transitioning young adult. Happy Mother’s Day, Laura! I often consider fostering as part of my next chapter in life.

[Hi-Im-Ezra]

This hits different as a teen going through abuse, thank you.

[zacgallenlover]

Love your videos so much Laura. This is flawless. My first foster sister was afraid of the dark very badly. We have dimmer lights that need to be switched to totally turn off. I’m just a daughter but I really recommend that type of lighting!! My mom learned about LED color therapy and i still use it myself. A cool lightbulb with a remote you can control the brightness and color of is more appealing to an older child (opposed to night lights) in some circumstances too! My papa loved to do a thing where he would turn the bathroom into a “spa” with music or white noise, flickering LED candles, and light projectors too! He would set out white towels and say “Okay! Just lock the door and we’ll know you’re done when the door is open 😊”. Made it a more fun stress relieving environment