r/Bestof I Just Found Out I Have a 15-yo Daughter

0:00 Intro
0:10 Surprise father
6:43 Dust mites
10:10 New family member

[Juju]

Story 1 : Agree on the read : If she's able to have a fight with a OP and still sit in the same room, instead of shutting down on any issues and run from the conversation, it's a good sign she actually cares about her relationship with OP and that she values it.

[Human-kbxc]

Story 1: this man is a unicorn. He didn't complain one bit about suddenly having a daughter. He welcomed her with open arms but also tried to not overwhelm her. When he said she was being argumentative, I felt so happy for them! To me, that was a sign that she was becoming more comfortable with him (I mean, what teenager DOESN'T argue with their parent(s)?) I hope nothing but the best for them and that Kathy gets what she deserves.

[Annie_Annie__]

RSlash! I did NOT need this punch to the feels today!

My dad got custody of me when I was 14 because my mother was abusive and neglectful.
It wasn’t easy.

Hell, it _still_ isn’t easy and I’m 40 now! But when I was a teenager, seeing little girls have a fun, loving relationship with their mom sometimes would send me in to depressionville, in to a panic attack, or in to a fit of anger.

The world expects that if you have a parent treat you badly, it’s going to be your dad; my school even had a support group for that. The world also expects that it’s your mother that will love you unconditionally, take care of you no matter what, and move heaven and earth for your happiness, so no one really knows what to say or do when your mom doesn’t like you, doesn’t want to take care of you, and doesn’t love you.

In my experience, even therapists don’t know what to say in this situation, so it’s completely isolating and can make you feel like there must be something innately wrong and horrible about you that your own mother doesn’t love you.
I imagine that for the fathers in these situations, it must be very difficult to get past all of that and convince the child that it’s her mother’s loss and that it’s a flaw with mom, not child.

My heart goes out to those dads and those kids (even if those “kids” are adults like me). May we all find peace and healing.

[mariondumont]

Story 2 : The woman discovering her allergy late in life reminds me of something that happened when I was a kid. I had trouble breathing at night for some reasons. I went to the doctor with my mother and he said that I was hypocondriac... Later in my teen years, I discovered that I was allergic to dust mites, cat and dogs hair and to some plants. I don't understand why the doctor i've seen didn't even think about allergies, when it's such a common problem nowadays.

[arithefierysecretary]

Story 1: I hope OP explained that he had no idea she existed and that he didn't leave her with her mother on purpose. OP seems like a great guy and I have a feeling he would have done more to get her out of that situation sooner had he known.

[hitmonkey]

Can confirm, tantrums over the wrong color cup, spoon, fork, plate, bowl. And even if the spoon is on the wrong side of the plate or bowl...
They're silly, frustrating, and still a good thing.

[Rj-ijko]

Story 1: Welp…it’s 9 in the morning…and i’m crying:(
I REALLY hope we get more updates from Op and his daughter

[maebee]

Story 2: I feel so much sympathy for the allergy thing, I’m 26 and just got diagnosed with a mass amount of allergies that I was told we’re just hormonal and would go away if I had a baby. I COULDNT BREATHE PROPERLY FOR 26 YEARS!

[bobbifrost]

Story one… I just met my dad two months ago after 24 years. I only found out about him when I was 14. My step-mom, dad, and two little brothers (!!!) have welcomed me with open arms, and I feel much like the daughter in the first story. My dad knew I was born but was never told when and didn’t have more to go off of than a first and middle name. I found him after years of searching, and he has been so loving and kind and cried when he saw me. We all as a family are going curling next week for his birthday! Like the dad in the first story, my dad has the bittersweet pain of missing all those years, but he also loves that we are together now! Especially because my brothers always wanted a sister :, )

Thank you for sharing the first story rslash! It was a very good morning cry :, )

[iciclethehybrid]

Story #1: That poor poor girl, just in every way possible screw Kathy. I, in a sense, know what that girl went through. Not to her extreme, but so much neglect and hatred from family is absolutely awful. And when it was said she loved to read, I immediately knew where that was going. If you can escape your life to a better one, or learn more and more to make a better one for yourself in the future you take it and never let go. I know taking down those walls are the hardest thing you can do, but I'm so so proud of her for doing so. And that she finally has someone who will forever love her unconditionally, it's beyond hard to accept but I'm glad she can do it.
One last thing, dogs make the world go round! I'm glad she isn't scared or them but loves them all dearly. And of course, I'm happy she loves her dad. This may be a sad story, but it's paced with happiness throughout.

[gilded_lady]

Story 1: that argument was 100% her trusting him and lashing out like any teen. My heart man. What a story. I hope she can heal in time.

[soulgazer]

OP's daughter reminds me of my ex. She had a very traumatic childhood. On her birthday, I prepared a romantic candle lit dinner and ordered from her favourite sushi place. *She yelled at me.* She said she didn't deserve it, that I spent money for nothing, etc. Than the walls came down and she started crying, saying no one had ever done anything for her birthday. That it was the best birthday gift she'd ever had.
Wounds take time to heal.

[Logitah]

The last story is LITERAL found family. Guess what, now you have a cat! Guess what, now you have a sister! ❤😅😂❤😊

[juanhaines]

Story 1 stuff like this needs to be illegal. It should count as a form of parental alienation.

[callanightshade]

This episode was a bit more wholesome than I was expecting. Especially when the OP in 1st and last story takes in their daughter/ little sister

[natasha]

With the 1st story, the reason she has become argumentative is because she feels safe. Children with trauma struggle to feel safe and have a safe person, if the daughter can express big emotions to her dad, it means she is healing in his presence, and he is her safe person. Because she knows he will love her and protect her no matter the big feelings she has. Well done OP on making your daughter feel safe enough to show you those emotions so she can work through them!!

[eringantz]

That first story hit me so hard. I can relate so much to that poor girl. My bio dad has been in prison for as long as I can remember so I grew up with my bio mom. She was extremely abusive in every way and neglectful, and so was every guy she brought home. I was eventually taken out of her care but spent the rest of my childhood in foster care, which wasn't much better. I was a book worm as a child because it was my escape. Even if I couldn't physically leave my environment, at least my mind could through a book. I fell in love with school because it was the only place I felt safe. I was a straight A student most of my life, until the depression, anxiety, and undiagnosed PTSD really took over. I've always been so jealous of people who have good relationships with their parents and good childhoods because I never got to experience that. I never got that second chance at a childhood, and once I aged out of foster care things took a turn for the worst. I've spent most of my adult years on the edge of homelessness with no support system to speak of. I'm only 24 years old, and I've had to move 7 times in the last 2.5 years due to unstable housing situations and poverty.

But I can finally say things are starting to look up. I met a guy who has been so patient and loving and amazing. He sees the struggles I go through every day and does what he can to help and support me. We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary. And I'm moving once again at the end of this month, but it finally seems like I'm moving somewhere that I can stay long term. I'm disabled and have a lot of health issues, and I'm finally taking advantage of government programs I never knew existed to help me cover the cost of housing, bills, food, disability accommodations, etc. I'm hoping this is the start of a life I truly deserve!

[silverflight]

Story 1: It makes you wonder what happened back then with the ex. Was she cheating, or what else caused her to just dip all of the sudden? She abuses the child for 15 years afterwards and is eventually arrested for drugs, so I really wonder

[allisonvaughn]

STORY 1: This made me cry.. a lot. I wish I could tell the dad to be prepared for some more arguing, as it is a trauma response. (I have worked with children of trauma). They do this as a self sabotage believing that they aren’t loveable and the person claiming to love them is lying and their behavior will prove it. You just have to love them through it. It’s hard, but it’s worth it. I worked all year with a VERY difficult explosive foster child in my classroom. I watched his triggers. I taught him how to recognize the signs early and how to handle his emotions in healthier ways… and the whole time I told him it’s okay to feel the way he does. He turned his life around (he was kicked out of two previous schools before my classroom). He is the sweetest most loving boy - now in middle school. His foster mother (guardian so she will never lose him, just not a legal adoption), continues to thank me for helping him that year. Children from trauma try to push people away. But I have a feeling this father in the story will be just the person she needs to have faith in herself and in people again.

[linda-]

Story 1: I’m not surprised that she loves dogs ☺️ Dogs are so much more empathetic than humans, and they can sense when someone is nervous/scared like OP’s daughter. And they often slowly work themselves closer to that person, same way most breeds interact with human babies, one paw at a time, even sometimes just sleeping next to the person/baby so they can feel a warm body against them, and a heartbeat. Prayers for OP and his Daughter!! ☺️🥰🙏