“He’s not ready for marriage. So why did we buy a house together?”

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Candace and Brad, 31 and 33. They’ve been together for five years—buying a home together after just one year of dating. Candace is ready for a wedding, kids, and family life; she’s getting impatient. Make sure you stick around for the suprising conclusion to their story.

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Produced by Crate Media.

[ramitsethi]

0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[Gioli]

Brad will be married to the next woman he dates and they’ll have babies soon after. This is a tale as old as time. He just didn’t want to marry her. But she’ll find someone who does and get what she deserves. Best to both of them!

[stinstin]

What I picked up on was the fact that he said, “I want to get married and I want to have kids” but didn’t specify that he wanted those things WITH HER 😢 Wishing them all the best as they move forward ❤

[abuorC]

He used her to stabilize his career. Now that he earns more, he feels he can do better. Candace, your past job might have been draining you but you live with an energy drainer who is nonchalant. Choose you, heal from the breakup & go apply for even better job. I hope God gives you the man you deserve.

[anjalianthony]

Lessons learned: 1) Never buy a house with a man if you’re not married 2) never pay for a man’s education unless you’re married 3) never contribute more to the household unless you’re married.

[CherieButler]

His silence, and resistance to answering questions was because he didn't want to say what he really felt. He knows he was never going to marry her. She was comfortable and reliable.

[livingfinance]

Proud of you Candace, I know it wasn’t easy decision. But as you have said you are not walking away empty handed. And you can build your life with someone with whom you share the same core values.

[iamokay]

Candace finally had the clarity she was looking for all along. It wasn't hard to see how he didn't have marriage in mind when Ramit asked what he would do with 100k and he immediately said "trips and golf." She was just too good for him. I wish her the best of luck.

[cass]

This was my story with my ex. We had our offer accepted to purchase a condo, and at the last minute I trusted my intuition and backed out. When we hit our 5 year mark, he told me he no longer wanted to get married and have children. Those two topics were my deal breakers, throughout our relationship he would tell me that was his vision for us too. I was blindsided and devastated. He told me that I deserved the life that he wasn’t ready to commit too. I will never speak negatively of him, he was brutally honest. Fast forward, I’ve been married for 12 years and I have the family and children I always envisioned for myself. Know your worth because life does move on.

[amendaalmonte]

Girl that silence WAS SO LOUD!! I thought I had lost internet connection. It’s quite obvious to the viewers, I wish her luck and most importantly a peace of mind!

[alicedotkay]

I found it interesting how Brad answered Ramit's question about what it would mean to have a family. He answered in singular form with, "I think I would be a great dad. I think I would be happy." There was no mention of partnership, how "WE" would be happy together, how "OUR" kids would bring us joy, etc.
He wants to have a family one day... just not with her. The answer with the "more trips & golf" when they profited $100k each from the house also was a telltale sign.

[hummingbirdofgumption]

While she did make a mistake in deciding to buy a house (I don't think he wanted to and I bet he didn't put down $ for it), she did a phenomenal job of not getting pregnant by him. Houses can be sold, but splitting up when you have a child together without being married is a whole different ball of wax. She saw the light and allowed us to learn from her. Great job in teasing the truth out of this couple, Ramit!!

[Lafemmefutile]

That man exploited that woman and wasted her time. She was playing Barbara the builder with a man who is not happy where he is and but loves the access to a roommate with benefits. If you cannot offer what the person wants, please let them go so they can find their happiness.

[Sashique]

Good on you girl! You may have invested 5 years of your youth into this man but you are fortunate to leave the situation with plenty of money for fresh start. You are a bright and sweet woman that any man would be lucky to have as a wife. All the best ❤

[simoneXox]

Candace, if you're reading this you've done the right thing !

[LinzyLinz]

I understand that some may not be used to expressing their feelings but Brad said everything when Ramit asked him what he would do with the house proceeds and didn't mention anything about marriage or kids, but instead mentioned golf equipment and travel. He's not ready for marriage and that's ok. They had different goals. The follow up was inevitable.

[sp-cnpm]

I can't help but feel that he used her to get ahead and his mom was trying to salvage their relationship, so he could anchor into something it wasn't a waste for her years. That was some wife level commitment. If he knew she wanted kids so bad, why waste that much of her time and rob her of something that would make her happy? There's only so long you can carry kids.

[stephyworld]

This man doesn't want to marry her 😩 She can't/won't see it now but she's a placeholder and he will always have a another excuse to not commit. They should sell the house and go their own way.

[luciamariarossi]

He probably loved her but took her for granted big time. She waited and waited for him to give her clarity, only to realize she could give herself the clarity she needed. She is strong and capable and she should be proud of herself for taking her life into her own hands. You go, girl.

[ianbradley]

I'm glad that Candace decided to leave. I'm sorry that Brad would not commit after 5 years. My son would not commit after 10 years and then finally asked her. They broke up shortly after. I did warn her that my son was a commitment flob. All I can think of is the wasted time. If a man doesn't commit in 2 years, let him go, you are not the one. Chris