How Can I Leave My Church Well?

This is a question that I get from time to time (in different variations): "I have come to differ theologically with my church in some significant ways, so should I leave, and if so, how?" This was asked at an Ask Me Anything event in the Philippines, and here's my stab at an answer. (Context: This specific question involved leaving a non-Reformed charismatic church for a non-charismatic Reformed one.)

[Ellomarshall]

This subject is literally what ive been praying to God about

[Tylerstrodtman]

Most videos about leaving churches really focus on theological problems. What if the problem isn't theological so much as it is practical, such as the pastors breaking trust with those they counsel or a lack of emphasis on outreach and evangelism, or if the church puts no emphasis on ministry to children?

[jillthomson]

What do u do when a church doesn't act like family? No matter how hard u try to be the "brothers & sisters" in Christ it just doesn't happen. People come to church but just as soon as it's over there up & gone. Any suggestions?

[kristens]

Is it rude however to just leave quietly and not give a reason? I’m genuinely curious because I’m facing a similar situation atm. And when do you leave? Because you check out a new church doesn’t mean it’s a right one, it can take time. So so many questions I have.

[subjecttochrist]

Our church started teaching the unscriptural teaching of cessationism. We’re considering leaving now, because it is essential

[hansolo]

Should I leave a church if the people there are always ignoring me and pushing me away?

At my local church, everyone has known each other since childhood, and they legitimately treat each other like family. But I've only been going for about 2 year, and in that time they've never treated me like a brother. To them, I'm just the awkward, nerdy guy that they have to be nice to because that's what "good Christians" do.

I've tried to connect with them and make plans, but they always ditch at the last second. This has been going on for almost 2 years. Should I leave, or just suck it up and deal with it?

[charliedale]

Call the city and tell them to put you on tap water. If it's cost prohibitive, ask God for the provisions, and let the congregation know about the need. After some time of prayer and discernment, you may decide to just keep the church on the well.

[susandumbill]

If your pastor or elder is behaving in a sexually inappropriate way towards you or someone else - it's time to go.

[joeyrose]

I am in a situation where our family is leaving a church over some unresolved issues and we are trying to leave quietly but the leaders of the church are not letting us do so. Anyone have any sound advice for us?

[jollyfamily]

Here's a question (unrelated to this video). As far as contemporary worship music goes, how do you find doctrinally sound sources of music to listen to?

[Rooples]

Sounds like im on the phone with the guy

[sfowler]

In repeatedly saying "Quietly step away and leave" you are advising people not to speak to the pastor and/or elders before leaving? That surprises me.

[barryallen]

If God tells us that his nature is that he cannot lie, then why would it appear he has a revealed will in Scripture (all can come: Jesus will draw all men to Himself; whosoever believes) but He has this secret will that only the elect can come?

[SojournerDidimus]

Why? Is it not grossly negligent to leave a church and not share your convictions about unhealthy ways with your fellow believers there?

[nightday]

That’s easy just tell them Tim Challies says that all churches and preachers are wrong and are false prophets! Start a new ministry of tearing people down and then say Jesus told me to do that! Attack in the name a righteous insight...judge, condemn, don’t forgive them! Attack them ruin their marriages, and children and grandchildren!