Why You Don't FEEL HEARD

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It's not uncommon for people with CPTSD (Complex PTSD or Childhood PTSD) to feel disconnected, uncared for and UNHEARD. Are other people doing this to you or is it a problem in you? In this video I talk about what causes the feeling that you're not being heard -- and what do do about it!
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[rumdo]

I have been doing your morning routine for a few weeks. I had an unexpected interaction with a toxic stranger yesterday when he got too close and personal. Despite feeling furious, I was amazed to find myself expressing myself clearly and succinctly. And although he was determined to take charge of the situation, I took control and put an end to his nonsense forthwith. I was so pleased with myself. It was the first time in my life that I felt I could trust myself to deal with people effectively. Thank you.

[JCA]

Growing up I developed a habit of speaking rapidly because I had only seconds to get my point across before someone inevitably cut me off or talked over me. Not being able to contribute to conversations because it seemed like nobody ever stopped talking so there was no room for me to add anything. Sometimes I would literally have to fight to have a voice or I would just sit there like a lump on a log.

[vanessasouthern]

It's the not being believed. Its like being gas lighted all over again. Sends a person insane.

[tomdixon]

The moment I realize that somebody isn’t listening to what I am saying I stop in mid sentence and walk away. It doesn’t matter if it is a family member or somebody public. I feel better just saying this here now.

[kirstenanderson]

It is FAR better to be alone, than to settle for anyone who de-values you. Never settle for anyone, or anything, because that is what you feel you deserve.

[Trendlespin]

OH my word I have always felt this way, people talk right over me or ignore me. And people never listen they just want to talk, it is partly why I started writing, so I could get a sentence out without being interrupted.

[llove]

I have found that people who have not gone through the same kind of childhoods that we have really can't understand how we feel. They can be compassionate and empathetic but will never TRULY understand.

[zoeesperanza]

I express myself, and some people just talk over me, and assume how I feel... They don't listen to my true feelings.

[kikilynn]

3:15 "No good thing ever comes from trying to make a relationship work with someone who doesn't care about you." People who care about you are present and they hear you.

[pinklilyblossom]

I’m really calm and quiet most of the time but not being heard can be a massive trigger to a big melt down for me. When it happens I can’t seem to calm down either

[ashtontarot]

I had a dream last night where I was sitting with my husband surrounded by his family and friends and everytime I would add to the conversation my voice would instantly get muted like in a movie or something and all you can hear is the other people talking over me. No matter how loud I screamed or talked none of the words I wanted to say would come out, my mouth was moving but no sound. I came to the conclusion that I am subconsciously struggling with not feeling heard by others and here I am! Thanks for sharing. <3

[LoveBeliefTruth]

Or parents who where narcissisticly very selfabsorbed and getting enjoyment, feeling of power from childs emotional pain and fear.

[MmmKayHuuNay]

I finally let go of my family this year. I expect nothing from them, When I see them it's like strangers. I like that, no anxiety I just see them as random people. I don't see them often at all anyway, which is also great.

[dannewth]

This I got past. Having my writing published (in a newspaper) multiple times, doing homeless advocacy, and doing a lot of volunteer work. All this late in life. But the first forty years of my life I didn't get my voice heard. Now if someone doesn't have listening skills or always dominates the conversation they are no longer in my life.
When I talk I try to be clear and concise. I am respectful of other people time and energy. I am unwilling to just sit and listen to people ramble on and on

[Myspirit]

I was never allowed to express myself. If I was happy, I was told I was being phony. If sad or angry, the message was that I had some kind of nerve feeling that way and it was just “too bad”. I am so thankful for finding this channel...I listened to the one on Covert Avoidance first and found it by chance...and felt like a window of fresh air has opened for me. I haven’t been able to get enough of your videos since. Thank you 💕

[jeffharper]

I WUZ TOLD: KIDS SHOULD BE SEEN BUT NOT HEARD

[sandydepoy]

I used to have nightmares that I was screaming at my mother and she just stood there, aloof, like I wasn't even there, and raise her shoulder that one way, like "oh well, I don't care." That's how my whole childhood was. She was extremely passive aggressive and cold. To this day I yell and scream to get heard. If I'm not heard it makes me extremely angry, because it feels like I'm being disregarded and disrespected.

[cirelo]

I have people interrupt me alot or even walk out of the room or start talking to somebody else when I'm talking. Sometimes somebody will start looking at their phone or start doing some other activity while I'm talking. it's often in a conversation where they've expressed their opinion and then I'm taking my turn and then I get cut off. it makes it hard for me to finish my sentences strongly which I sort of feel reinforces the problem. I never know what's appropriate whether I should just force my opinion through or just trail off and disappear. I often wonder whether they are being triggered by having to hear my opinion, but it makes me feel invalidated to not have an opportunity to express my side of things.

[stellabandante]

The description of assaulting people with words when you feel the urgency to be understood really hits home. I am very verbal, and my communications take the form of emails. So many people have told me that it's too much, including people I really love. Thanks for what you do. I benefit greatly from your videos.

[Tasha]

I needed this video. I feel like I am about to explode. At this point I don’t feel like anyone hears me. I am working in a toxic work environment and I’m finally coming to terms through therapy that my mother is a narcissist. So whenever I do speak to her about anything she minimizes it and makes me feel as if I’m overreacting and I shouldn’t let what my coworkers are doing to me have this big of an impact. When I tell her she doesn’t understand, she then compares my experience to hers at work and all she went through and how she handled it and didn’t allow it to beak her. Yet I’m also in graduate school, and doing an internship. Something she has never done. So she still couldn’t comprehend the magnitude of pressure I’m dealing with. I literally feel like I’m about to explode.