Why I quit teaching during my first year 👩🏻‍🏫 last week of school vlog | high school history teacher

A very vulnerable video.. please watch with care. Thank you. Sending love to you all.

Time stamps:
0:00 My thoughts/why I quit (basically I'll vocally speak out what is written below)
10:22 Last week of school vlog

After months of consideration and reflection, I came to the very difficult decision to leave my teaching job. 😔 I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation, but as Ryan says, “the desire to tell people makes sense on many levels for [me],” so here I am.

It is actually impossible to list out all the reasons and mental gymnastics that led me to this decision, so I won’t attempt to do it here, but I ultimately came to the conclusion that if I were truly trying to live by my 2022 words (happiness, boundaries, me), I could not stay (or as my colleague helped me reframe, I /could/ stay and I /could/ make it to the end of the year.. but at what cost?).

I did not have the capacity to give my students the second semester they deserved. I was completely out of fuel and had nothing left in my cup to pour. All the reasons I had to stay were driven by guilt, fear, and external and internal pressures. But it felt so terrifying and it was so difficult to feel like this was the right decision. I knew that this decision would come with a myriad of emotions—both positive and negative—, an identity crisis, uncertainty, judgment, instability, and above all, I feared my own self-disappointment. This is what I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl. But I had a scary realization: I spent my entire life working towards this, and when I finally got here, this is when I felt the least like myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching. I love my students. I love learning with them and supporting them, and I already miss them so so much. But the teaching profession doesn’t love me (us) back. There were many positives and moments of joy, but I quickly learned that they weren’t sustaining me because the job is inherently unsustainable. Even when things got easier (but nowhere near easy), the workload was never-ending and took up so much of my mental real estate. I didn’t have the energy to truly pour into myself or my loved ones, and no longer had the time to do things that I enjoyed. Even when I set more boundaries around my time and adjusted my expectations for myself, I couldn’t feel much joy during my times of “rest” because all I could think about was the work I needed to do to feel like I could have my head above water in the classroom the next day. I was filled with dread and I was no longer in a place where I could give to my students as I had absolutely zero motivation to think about/begin planning for second semester.

I resigned last Tuesday and my last day was on Friday. This past week has been filled with so many mixed emotions, but I could not have imagined a more positive exit. For that, I am forever grateful for the incredible support I’ve received from my colleagues and admin, my loved ones, and most importantly, my students. ❤️ I didn’t get to tell my students in person due to asynchronous learning last week, but once I posted my video and message announcing my leave, they began flooding me with emails and messages of love, support, understanding, and gratitude. 😭 They reassured me that although they would miss me, they were so proud of me for doing what was best for me. My heart is both so full and broken. In my ideal world, I would have been able to take care of myself and finish out the year with them all.

Part of me wants to try again one day and continue growing and making an impact in the classroom, but I’m honestly not sure if I can ever see myself wanting that lifestyle again. I don’t really know right now and my emotions have been all over the place… and I think I’m okay with that for now. A lesson I’ve learned this year is that we can know one thing is true and still hold conflicting feelings. I can know that being a teacher is not limited to being in the classroom and I can know that teaching /is/ not and /should/ not be my identity… and still find myself grieving this “loss” and current departure from the classroom. I can hold all these conflicting thoughts and feelings and not be looking to rectify or alleviate myself from them in this instance. But what I do know is that for the first time in six months, I woke up on Saturday and didn’t feel stress and dread loom over me. I felt a sense of peace and hope, and I felt so proud for having the courage to put myself first.

Love,
Katrina
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[ashleycreely]

“The teaching profession doesn’t love teachers back.” YES.

[deedledave]

Teaching really is a profession that invades your brain. Unlike a typical 9-5 job, you find yourself going home for the evening and weekends not thinking about how you're going to relax and enjoy yourself, but instead thinking about all of the things you have to do. When you do actually go and do something for yourself and for your enjoyment, you always feel a sense of guilt. I did this for 8 years, but this will be my last. I want a 40 hour a week job that allows me to read, watch tv, exercise, socialize with friends, and be present in my life when I am not at work. I have no life as a teacher and that's why it's time to leave. It's sad, but necessary.

[kellyhsu]

The part that you've been working so hard for your whole life only to find out the goal you achieved actually made you stressful and unmotivated was so relatable to me recently༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

[hibiscushealing]

Teaching requires so much self sacrifice that we are supposed to take on with a smile…it’s getting harder now for us who are learning to love ourselves and maintain boundaries to be against a system that’s been put in place to control and standardize. Thank you for sharing your story, it’s heartbreaking to feel like your dreams shatter after so much work

[DJ]

Teaching profession doesn’t love teachers back. So good

[Calcifurr]

I HATE teaching. I’m trying to get out of it. I’m so heartbroken, but at the same time I want out.

[louislove]

I am PROUD OF YOU!!!! I’m leaving the classroom after 17 years. There’s no explanation needed. You know what is important for you in this moment. Blessings 💕

[lizz]

I left the school district after 4.5 years it changed a lot since covid and work was no longer enjoyable and I was stressed everyday . I took the chance to completely change careers and I’m so happy I did 🖤 I don’t think anyone understands this decision unless they work in that environment daily . So happy you are living your life for you

[jeramyrulo]

OMG, this hit home so hard, I was ugly crying. This is my first year as well, and while I have resigned at the end of the school year, I don’t know if I’m going to make it emotionally or not. I teach 7th grade Social Studies, and with the disrespect from students and parents, and lack of support from my admin & mentor, plus noticing changes mentally/emotionally, I’m just waiting for another job to line up so that I can get out. I’m thinking that with my love of Geography and History and Travel, that I’m going to try to get into the Travel industry. I’m so emotional thinking about leaving my kids and whether or not I’m a failure. My family isn’t that supportive of me leaving the profession either, but I have to do what’s good for me. Thoughts, and if you are religious, prayers please.

[bryandeschenes]

I am normally a research scientist. In graduate school I was a TA and taught a lab section of an oceanography course. I loved it.
So, a few years ago I became an 8th grade science teacher. Within a couple months, I realized I made a huge mistake. As a TA, the college students wanted to be there and wanted to learn, so it was great.
As a middle school teacher I realized many of the 8th graders did not want to be there and it was stressful and terrible for a multitude of reasons.
Then the pandemic hit, I got COVID and didn't go back to teaching after. The education system was broken beyond repair. It's a very sad realization.

[stevenrivas]

I'm in the process of weighing the pros/cons of quitting my teaching job right now. Thanks for sharing your thought process and being vulnerable about this. I'm glad you decided to pick yourself!

[ravishingmermaid]

Ive always wanted to be a teacher since I was a little girl. and i resigned my first year as a teacher in the first semester in 2019. I couldn’t handle the judgment and ill management of administration. I wanted to cry everyday because it wasn’t like I expected, a principal that micromanage, I felt deceived that at the interview I got told I would have 20 students per class and in actuality it was 35 kids+ for 7 periods, a lunch of only 20 minutes. I was miserable, I was sick everyday, had bad anxiety, headaches and a bloated belly. I had to quit because I became physically I’ll from stress and worse of all it affected my self esteem. Today in 2022 I don’t know if I’m making the right decision, but I will go back to teaching, in a different grade and subject and I hope, I hope I have a better experience. Im afraid to fail again, sometimes I don’t know if I’m making the right choice because I’m already aware of all the things wrong in the education field and I don’t know if I can’t tolerate any disrespect. I just feel hope and fear

[dorianmac]

Thank you for your calm serene, honest delivery.I had made the same decision as many more have.

[fremontpathfinder]

You are so right. It is a lifestyle. I lived, ate and slept teaching for 18 years before I moved into a different type of teaching job where it wasn't so crazy.

[ninani]

I am sharing your video with my family and friends just because this is exactly how I have felt. I also left mid-year (Something I never expected of myself as I have never "failed" or "given" up in my life.) Tack on having an infant and a toddler at home that I wasn't spending time with due to the mental taxation this experience have left on me.

[cheunglindaa]

You’re so strong!! I admire your decision to choose yourself and your happiness and I’m rooting for you 🤍 take care!!

[kaysiesmith]

My god everything you’re saying is hitting so close to home. I truly don’t feel like myself.

[DJ]

School boards need to watch this. This is what your doing to lives.

[katrinastacie]

I’ve created a website with resources and blog posts (specifically about struggling as a teacher) that can hopefully help provide some inspiration, support, solace, or whatever it is you’re looking for: katrinastacie.com 💛

[georgeparappullyuthuppu]

A LETTER TO SCHOOL AUTHORITIES AND POLICY MAKERS.
To make the school teaching profession more productive and attractive please do the following:
1. The teaching load should not exceed 1000 minutes per week. That means 5 periods of 40 minutes duration per day. The rest of the time is for lesson planning, lesson preparation, marking assignments and tests etc. The total time including this should never exceed 8 hours per day.
2. Teaching should not be treated as a factory job. It is an intellectual job. So work life balance is very much essential.
3. Avoid unnecessary paperworks and data collection. This will distract teachers from their main task and focus area. Most of these types of works were found useless and will decrease the productivity of teachers. Teachers are there to teach and not for doing clerical jobs.
4. Avoid daily detailed lesson plans etc. Those are time consuming. They are alrady trained for that during their teachers training.
5. Avoid micromanagement. Trust the teachers.
6. Pay well at par with other professionals. Quality comes with money.
7. Stop "pleaseing the parents" attitude. They are not educationalists. Stick to the school policy.
8. Unnecessary parental involvement should be discouraged at any cost.
9. When a new system is introduced in a school, do not keep the old system.
10. Most of the lawmakers and policy makers in the education sector were never been teachers. This should not be allowed. Include experts in education at the law making and planning stage. This is a must.