What NOT to Say to Chronic Pain/Chronic Illness... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Curious what NOT to say to someone dealing with chronic pain and illness? Let's make the ultimate tier list to illustrate! 😉

------------------------------------------------

WANT TO SUPPORT THIS CHANNEL? //

Thank you SO much for considering supporting my channel! You can check out our Patreon community above!

MERCH!

SPEAKING
Want me to come and speak at your event, conference, meeting, panel, or school? Fill out this form to submit a request!

THANK YOU so much!

---------------------------------------------------

CONNECT WITH ME //

Tik Tok: @FootlessJo

----------------------------------------------------

CONTACT ME //

MY P.O. BOX:
Jo Beckwith
3578 Hartsel Drive #615
Colorado Springs, CO 80920

E-MAIL ME:

----------------------------------------------------

MY STORY //

Fourteen years of pain and failed ankle surgeries brought me to 2018, when I made the difficult decision to become a twenty-seven-year-old below-the-knee elective amputee. This channel is to document my journey of amputation surgery, recovery, and reclaiming my life.

MY PROSTHETIC LEG:
I use the Ossur ProFlex XC Torsion foot/ankle with a direct socket with passive vaccum suction.

MY AMPUTATION STORY – IN VIDEO:

----------------------------------------------------

MY EQUIPMENT //

MY MUSIC & CREDITS //

The End Credit music is “Summer Snow” by Low Light/Nick Kingswell

Thank you so much for listening – you make a real difference in my life, you enable me to be able to do what I love, and I am beyond grateful!

*Some of the links above may contain affiliate marketing*

#amputee

[rev_lunar]

Them: "You're too young to be sick."
Me: "You're too old to be stupid, yet here we are."

[beccamajor]

The worst part is when drs/medical professionals say these things.

[jazziedee]

“Wait until you get old.” This one has to be the most painful for me. If my condition and pain are this difficult in my thirties, will I survive to old age? People have no idea what it’s like. I’ve gotten to the point where I just do not tell people I’m in pain anymore unless they are a care provider.

[NX-gwwg]

My least favorite is "You've been dealing with this for x amount of years you should be getting better by now." Been dealing with chronic pain for 10+ years and I will for the rest of my life, it's not going away.

[catto]

One of the worst ones for me was:
"There's people who have x or x and they still run marathons, you just need to tell your pain to shut up and get on with life"
- my brother

[ameliezirnheld]

"But you're too young...." me at age four explaining to an adult my limitations and my chronic back pain/issues. The number of the "just you wait"'s I got when I said my back hurt. I've had chronic pain my entire life, my condition is and always has been my reality. It's just really frustrating and invalidating.

[klarissamartinez]

I was born with flat feet and when I was little the pain got so bad that I had to get reconstructive surgery. I developed chronic pain yet again my freshman year of high school. I got sent to a children’s hospital as it was the best decision for me to see a children’s specialist. The children’s SPECIALIST asked me if I had “ TRIED ADVIL” I was furious

[alienorfrei]

“The suffering of other people does not diminish the difficulty of what you are experiencing.” Thanks Jo. I think I needed to hear this today… I always fall on that trap. I know it, but also I should have it on repeat until my brain truly gets it.

[ReneS]

Crohn's disease here. My personal worst is "Huh, I never get ill." With the implied 'so why do you?' from classmates/colleagues when I would return to school/work after having missed several days due to illness/overtiredness.

I'm very happy that you have that luck, wish I could trade, cause I dó get sick a lot.

[breemari]

A phrase I’ve grown to love as someone who also has chronic migraines is “Is there anything I can do to help?” It shows compassion without trying to imply that you understand cause as you said, if they don’t have a chronic illness, they don’t understand. It’s belittling to hear someone say “oh yeah that must suck I remember one time I had a really bad headache” like, that’s not the same thing. Thank you for talking about chronic illnesses

[charlottebeingampumee]

Hi um I don’t know if you’ll see this I really hope you do...I had my leg amputated just over a month ago and honestly if it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would have done, I really mean it I feel like people don’t full appreciate the overwhelming feeling of loosing a limb till your there, you just can’t. But seeing you helped me and my mum so so much, my mum struggled to come to terms with it until she saw your videos so I can never thank you enough for that. I had 68 operations in the last 7 years I know chronic pain like the back of my hand so although it’s awful you’ve suffered with it like you have it was also comforting to see someone else who has felt what I have felt even if the causes or circumstances are different pain is pain. Anyway I was wondering if there’s any way I can get in contact with you, just to say thank you properly and perhaps ask you some burning questions I have 😅 much love, Charlotte Xx

[Lil_Sprout_]

“Don’t you take medication for that?” as if medication made it all go away.

“I thought you had surgery for that?” as if surgery magically fixes everything

[virginiagrenier]

"But you don't look sick" or "You look so normal" - I get those all the time as a "silent" MSer. Blurred vision, dizziness, pain, tingling, foggy headedness, numbness, etc. can't be seen by the outside world but I sure feel them.

[candicejackson]

My least favourite “Why did you even come to work today? You’re going to make everyone sick!” I live with severe allergies that flare up from all sorts of things and also causes allergic rhinitis. Many employers don’t provide sick days and often my allergies aren’t bad enough for me to feel that I need to stay home, but so many assume I’m sick and contagious. PSA: Allergies are a form of autoimmune disorder and are not contagious. Thank you for putting this list together. I’ve had a number of these said to me and so many times I just don’t even want to acknowledge what was said or know how to answer especially “I hope you get better soon”...I’ve had this all my life so I don’t know when that’s going to happen! 🤦‍♀️😆

[darrellschoppa]

I had a couple of pastor/elders at a church say, “Well your wife goes to her doctor appointments, why can’t she come to church?” She has chronic migraines and her’s are especially set off by sound. In addition, she has developed an anxiety to being around large gatherings of people because of the potential increase in pain. My wife wasn’t even there when this was said and it was all I could do not to start throwing hands right there in the sanctuary.

[twilafreek]

"you're too young to have knee problems 🙃" oh wow thank you my kneecaps are now magically back in place and will never dislocate ever again and my surgeries to fix it have been reversed because they are now redundant because I'm cured by youth! 😊

[davegoodridge]

When the Doctor says “It’s just not that bad for you to be feeling this way”.

[onka]

"Have you ever tried"... it's a call for the mass murderer in me

[sophiecarter]

I hate the "You're too young", I just roll my eyes when I hear this and change the subject. I don't mind the diagnosing one but I phrased as "have you looked into I find that can be helpful early on in the issue you are having. I don't like the shaming of taking medication, I understand that some people are ignorant through no fault of their own. I've been told by colleagues and even my company director to stop taking medication.

[nikkimcgeary]

a famous one in my family ... "I know what you mean, I had to take an aspirin last night I was in so much pain"

Really? They pulled two-thirds of my spine out within 90 days ... Five years later pulled my entire lumbar out again ... Along with butchering most of the muscles along the spine, neck and shoulder area ... But I'm sorry you were in so much pain (discomfort) ... But so truly happy for you that aspirin is able to give you relief. I'm saying this with a chuckle and a smile because after so many years I know this is what I will here whenever I take my mask off or give an honest answer to someone inquiring about how I feel. My go to answer is now --- "I'm good, I'm always good" said with a smile