5 Things Not To Say To Someone With Depression

Do you know someone struggling with depression? Is it your family, close friends or someone you know who has depression? Sometimes, a well-intentioned remark can be misconceived as something hurtful or ignorant, so it’s very important that you know how to be careful with your words. In this video, Psych2Go shares 5 common phrases that people say that could make someone with depression feel worse.

#depression #donotsay #mentalhealth

This video is made possible by Betterhelp, an affordable online counseling platform. Use the link below to help support psych2go:

Credits:
Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Teresa
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Levinson, D. F. (2006). The genetics of depression: a review. Biological psychiatry, 60(2), 84-92.
Shalev, A. Y., Freedman, S., Peri, T., Brandes, D., Sahar, T., Orr, S. P., & Pitman, R. K. (1998). Prospective study of posttraumatic stress disorder and depression following trauma. American Journal of psychiatry, 155(5), 630-637.
Nutt, D. J. (2008). Relationship of neurotransmitters to the symptoms of major depressive disorder. The Journal of clinical psychiatry, 69, 4-7.
Lim, L. (2008). Depression: The misunderstood illness. Armour Publishing Pte Ltd.
Ingram, R. E., Miranda, J., & Segal, Z. V. (1998). Cognitive vulnerability to depression. Guilford Press.

[Psychgo]

Favour needed! Psych2Go's mission has always been to make psychology and mental health topics more accessible for the public, but lately, with the Covid-19 situation, it has been harder to remind people of the importance of mental health. Hence, our videos haven't been reaching that many people. If you have a chance, and you find our content helpful, could you help share one of our videos on your social platform? If you did, let us know so we can thank you! Have a good day!

[callumtait]

"It's all in your head" yeah no duh just like asthma is all in your lungs.

[luckii]

Saying “don’t be depressed! Look at all the good things in life!” to a depressed person Is basically the same as saying “Don’t have asthma! Look at all this air!”

[qwbhrfi]

One that really ticks me off is:
“Sex is a great way to get rid of depression”

I might just be sensitive but what if the person got previously assaulted and that’s why they’re depressed

[nola-]

Telling someone depressed to “just be happy” is like telling someone homeless “just buy a house”


Btw your voice is so soothing

[mariapazgonzalezlesme]

*7:* "Get over it". Never said this to someone who is depressed. Like jesus, try to listen and understand what is going on.

[Rexray.]

my dad: “you just have to try”
*my depression cured*

[harleyquinn]

"You're just doing it for attention" That should be illegal

[Robin-lplx]

My mom to me: "Just stop being sad"
* Suicide rate drops to 0*

[aleidarts]

"You can't have depression, you're just a child"

[destinyolivo]

“You’re fine”
“ You have no reason to feel this way”
“Be Grateful”
“I understand”
“Just be happy”
“ No one said life was fair”
“ Just pull yourself together”
“ There are people that have it worse than you”
“ Maybe you’re just stressed”
“It’s all in your head”
“Think positive”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself”
“ Just man up and get over it”
“You’re A guy, you can’t be depressed”
“I’d Love to see you cheer up”
“You’re slowing me down”

Just adding to the list

[melissabrock]

"you have no reason to be depressed"
"its all in your head"
" your bad mood is annoying"
"why are you so sad"
"i understand"
"depression isnt real"
"maybe you need to stop thinking negatively"
" why can't you change"
"why are you always the same"
" i dont have depression so i think you just need to think more positively"
"chin up now"
"What are you a boy?"
"why do you dress like that?"
"what are you emo now?"
" how do you expect boys to like you when you act/look like that"?
" i know you're depressed but that doesn't mean you have to be sad all the time".
"your ungrateful"
"your just looking for attention just like every other teenager"
"i think you need to calm down"
"your making a big deal out of nothing"

and the list goes on...

[cheeseburger]

Society: Why don’t men open up about there feelings and emotions

Also society when a man opens up to there depression/mental struggles: *nO oNe cArEs, jUsT mAn uP*

[dragonflame]

“It’s not as bad as my situations, you’re fine! You only have X while I have X, Y, and Z.” Someone compared my situations with theirs when I only told them why I don’t like physical contact. Him saying this made me feel like my emotions didn’t matter and that he has it worse off, even when I knew that other people situations being worse (for lack of a better term) doesn’t mean that my depression isn’t unfounded. He didn’t know the entire situations, but dispute that he assumed. So my advice is this, never compare your depressions to another’s, as it can make theirs worse.

[nightshade]

Me through all of my life: *suffering from anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts as well as self harm*

My mother whenever I mention any of my problems: What reasons do you have to be depressed? There are people out there who actually have a terrible life out there, suffering, and you’re here being sad about who knows what? *continues to scold me*

Also my mother: Why don’t you talk to me? Tell me what’s happening? Socialize at all with me? Don’t you trust your mother?

This here folks, is the very reason I no longer trust the people I’m supposed to trust the most.

[michaelclark]

I have been told:
"You allow yourself to be depressed."
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself."
"Aren't we all stressed."
"Depression can be cured in months."
"Suicide is attention seeking."
"You're too negative."
"Try to be happier."
"You don't know pain or real life."
"Im giving up on you."
"People who dying of serious illnesses are less miserable than you - appreciate things a little more."

What sucks also is when people say they understand you initially and then stop understanding you if it inconveniences them in anyway.

[lesbian]

I’m have mild depression and my grandmother always says things like:
“You’re hopeless!”
“You are so selfish, your parents are amazing they buy you everything you want!”
“You’re are so awful!”
“You’re the worst daughter ever!”
“These aren’t your thoughts!” (Whenever I say something of opinion)
So yea, I’m not looking for people feel bad. I actually do have this happen to me on a daily basis

[UPDATE]
1. Thank you for so much support about my vent.
2. It’s gotten a bit worse and my dad also joined in
3. I found a friend who can relate to me
4. I know that this will pass eventually and I know that my time to be happy is not quite my time yet
5. Also um remember it’s ok to be sad

[update 2]
How am I now? -
I’m good feeling a lot better from when I posted this 6 months ago. I have a group of friends my entire family are still a bit rude. I’m not being yelled at as much. I try to not be rude ever. I’m seeing what’s happening, I’m leaving my house at 18. Me and my 2 friends who have emotionally abusive families.

[update 3]
Today my best friend showed me a group chat that is a hate group for me. and it kind of makes me feel betrayed because no one stood up for me.

update 4 -
we kicked the girl who was being rude out of our group because she was fat shaming and being rude, life is improving. slowly but still improving

Update 5 i suppose -
It’s been a year since i made this comment and a really crazy year at that, I’m feeling better, issues with family are the same as always but what else is to be expected? I dont talk to any of that friend group except for one person, I made a bunch of new friends at a new school but thats still not exactly smooth but oh well

[cameicho]

I don't know, But i want to say this to a depressed person:
"If you want, You can tell me all about it. I'm here to listen, If you don't want to tell me, It's alright."

Does that make things better?

[Dylan-lklu]

Child: im sad :(
parents:**remove their phone
Child:**still sad**
Parents:impossible

[ivratsdargy]

"You're not trying hard enough":

Imagine someone at the bottom of a giant ditch, they know they have the physical capability to possibly climb up the sides but slide back down whenever they try. At that point they probably need someone to hold a rope down for them to at least make up a bit further. Saying that is essentially throwing the whole rope down and just saying "figure it out".