What to Say (and Not to Say) to a Friend with Cancer

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It's hard to know what to say to help support a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer or is dealing with other difficult news. Members of the Young Adult Program (YAP) at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute provided insight on what was helpful to them. This video provides guidelines on things you can do or say that may be comforting — and which topics you should avoid.

This video was created by JV Films and is supported by the BU Activist Lab and the Young Adult Program at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.

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On August 3rd I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. For the most part my friends have been very supportive and encouraging . I had one person I thought was a friend who was very negative and hateful, I ended the friendship because I don't need any negativity or toxic people in my life while I'm going through treatment to cure this disease. I'm going to stay strong and think positive thoughts and I know I will beat this disease. I know I have a tough road ahead of me but I'm not going to allow it to stop living and enjoying life

tytaylor
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I just hate hearing people tell me I will keep you in my prayers. To me that's saying I will not in any physical or emotional way be there for you

markncely
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My friend was recently diagnosed with cancer and this helped me support and talk to him about it

meowmeowmeowmeowme
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I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer at age 38 & began experiencing drastic hair loss 2 weeks after my 1st chemo treatment. Although friends mean well, them telling me that "it will grow back" did not diminish how hard it is to suddenly have to cope with how real my illness is. We know how hair works & that it will indeed grow back, & that's just part of the journey, but I totally agree with how undermining (although unintentionally) it is when someone who doesn't know what you're going through tries to share their 'silver linings' instead of listening.

emmyh
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This video NAILS, it. Please pay attention to this and apply it if someone you care about tells you they are diagnosed with cancer and you want to be there for them. 100% spot on.

jeandivine
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What a wonderful, helpful and touching video. Thank you! ❤️🙏🏾

sufialove
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Today my grandma was diagnosed with lung, liver, and rib cancer, my mom was so upset, i tried making her feel better, nobody deserves cancer!

Edit:
She passed away at the late age of 83, may she rest in peace ❤️

RDBS