How the Narcissist Hurts You Using Cognitive Empathy

#narcissisticabuserecovery #healing

Most people think narcissists have no empathy, but there's one kind of empathy they use which can cause horrific damage and destruction to those in relationships with them.

Learn the dangers of cognitive empathy and how the narcissist is using it to torture and punish you.

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[pault]

This is what happened to me and I almost completely fell for it. It can be hard to tell when they're trying to manipulate you. They can put on an act and display emotions that seem empathetic while asking you to open up about personal matters. However, you'll be able to see through this if they: 1) are the ones doing most of the talking, 2) are not bothering to see your side of the story, 3) are constantly making statements to put you at fault. The main thing that all narcissists love to do because they can not be held accountable is BLAME SHIFT. Most importantly, listen to your gut instict. You can detect right off the bat who's a narcissist by the toxic, smothering energy they emit.

[kam]

Every emotion you thought the psychopathic narcissist felt was nothing more than a carefully created, tailor made con just for you! Beyond the use and abuse, the fact that this person never loved me or cared about me is the hardest thing to get my head around.

[TallSilentGuy]

When faced with the concept of somebody close to your home and hearth making an informed decision to behave in an unlovable manner, the healthy mind recoils.

[warriorhippie]

An effective way they use cognitive empathy is by playing the victim. Life is just always against them, life is just always unfair to them. They like to pull the “Daddy wasn’t there, mommy didn’t care” card.

[NarcissisticAbuseRehab]

This is spot on. Many in the narcissistic abuse recovery community claim that narcissists have no empathy but that isn’t true. The concept of cognitive empathy or Sam Vaknin’s “cold empathy” is more consistent with survivors’ lived experiences.

[alleyesonmeino.c]

Omg I'm so ready to break free from this bs

[obiwan]

My advice don't trust them ever. They dont change, they learn new ways of being sneaky and not get caught. You give them an inch they take a mile. These monsters are pathetic foul creatures!

[mikesmith]

My father uses cognitive empathy when I call him out for his malicious intentions and blatant hypocrisy.

[bonkahermitakaintjudge]

Awesome. I know it cognitive empathy works at creating a state of learned helplessness because it almost created that feeling in me.Fortunately I was able to turn it around and reverse the effect on the Narcissist. Everyone from time to time will need help with something. When this time comes ( and it will) for the Narcissist this is when you explain that you no longer feel safe trying to help people. Of course you can still help those people that you feel are not going to abuse your help. Thanks again for another great presentation

[dougd]

I still help people I just don't let anyone near me. They offer to come over and make dinner? LOL. I eat alone. They invite me over after filling there cupboard with food. No Thanks I eat alone. I go to movies, the beach body surfing, ride my harley last memorial day 798 miles. Alone. Beautiful day at mono lake. Snow above me hail and rain on me in a bristlw cone forest, 3 ancient volcano domes behind me. No one talking me down. No one hurting me. Alone is Good. If I stop to help someone, first names only.
Never again.

[paulcarton]

I have learned that my girlfriend/ex is a narcissist. As long as she gets her own way then everything is great. As soon as you challenge her, then she turns in to a rage machine. Yesterday I was attacked because I had got stuck in traffic. This apparently was not good enough for her and so she pushed me out and left me crying for 24 hours. Think now is my time to escape.

[matissetrixie]

You tell us who uses cognitive empathy, CIA agents, lawyers, car salesmen, etc. and why they use cognitive empathy. But, why not show an example of how they do this so we can recognize when it is being done?

[Sheilaalien]

I don't think many of them even realize that they are going through these textbook step-by-step narcissist playbook moves... This is simply their nature by nature

[demigaines]

Thank You For
Sharing Within Jus Two
Weeks Of Knowing The
Narcissists He Had Me In
A Perpetual State Of Fear.
These Ppl Are Master
Manipulators..

[xrexgamer]

I'm so grateful because I've been through this and I'm still paying the price of having a person like this in my life

[virgilallen]

Even though I’ve been through this I still have flashes in my mind of how expertly done, I thought I was losing my mind, five months and a really bad five I’ve los5 so called friends and am happier alone in peace, until she revived up the smear campaign or court letters arrive. Trying to get police to vaguely understand what your trying to explain and what’s being done to you is almost as difficult as trying to connect with the narc.

[kam]

I actually watched this again. And then again! This is the best explanation I've heard about the subtle, but apparent ways a narcissist manipulates his/her victims.

[fiveb]

Thanks Kim, for all your content.
I'm at odds with my person, and myself at the moment. I'd had enough of the lies, manipulation, gaslighting, blame shifting, and all around heartache that my person chose to utilize instead of being honest or compassionate throughout our relationship.
So after an event that drove me to attempt suicide and his callous disregard for the way his actions were affecting not just our relationship, but several others that I discovered were happening at the same time, I thought the best thing I could do would be to stand my ground and hold him accountable for his actions if he couldn’t muster the courage to do it himself. But now I fear my attempts to get him to grow a conscience are all for not, and his apathetic attitude towards this horrible experience has made me fight harder, and look like the narcissist.
Of course it doesn’t help that our couples therapist and he have something going on. Which has made trusting said "professional" impossible. I very nearly lost myself because of this mess, and I don't know what else to do to move on without harboring this resentment for the deceptive behaviors that have been at the center of all this, when I finally took a chance on love.
I want to help everyone get to a better place both mentally and physically by nature. Why do these people not see that what they’re doing is wrong, or if they do, what makes them knock that s#it off?
Sincerely, Whitt’s End

[scottdwyer]

I think it's actually mental telepathy, reading your emotions rather than having empathy uncompassionate

[wanderer]

Wow, this is exactly what happened 💔