5 reasons you are always tired as a fearful avoidant

Being tired and exhausted might be something you don’t immediately link to the fearful avoidant attachment style. But there can absolutely be a link and be an association! In this video I’m going to talk about five reasons why you might always tired as a fearful avoidant.

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I'm always looking for ways to help you in your healing journey. These healing cards reveal what it looks and feels like to be healed. These are the affirmations that will make healing the fearful avoidant attachment style so much easier. You can use these as the background of your phone, or print them out and hang them anywhere.

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WHAT IS FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
HOW TO HEAL THE FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
THE ONE THING I DID TO HEAL
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6 LESSER KNOWN CAUSES OF FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE

--- CONTENTS ---

00:00 Intro
00:37 Resistance to what you are feeling and thinking
04:38 Trauma
06:01 Expectations and the belief that you have to do things when you have energy
08:25 Not being able to set boundaries
10:47 When you’re tired you’re not able to do much damage or hurt others

#fearfulavoidant #healingattachmentstyle #attachmentstyle #chronicfatiguesyndrome #tired #fatigue #tiredness #paulientimmer

[Werksonek]

Woah. So eye-opening. I struggle with chronic fatigue syndrome the most. For the majority of my life. Always called it "depression" (one doesn't exclude another one obviously). Your words made me realise that I can't let myself really rest ever, not mentally for sure. Or even put attention to my feelings. My body would make me rest, by making me truly sick, countless times. I suffer from chronic muscle tension and chronic whole-body pain because of that. Slowly trying to include body in my healing.

[RussMalina]

1. Resistance to feelings and thoughts
2. Trauma sitting in the body so functioning less efficiently
3. Subconscious benefits to hold on to tiredness
4. Bad at boundaries
5. Not able to harm others if tired

Plus physical imbalances

[Muse]

The #4 boundaries reason is so aligned with an insight I had in a recent tapping session! I’ve had tiredness as well as chronic headaches & migraines for about 15 years. I thought it had to do with the fact that being physically sick was the main time I felt love & affection as a child, but with tapping on it I realized it was the perfect strategy for getting my need for space & lower expectations met in a world were my preferences & boundaries didn’t matter. I complimented my fearbrain on it when journaling because it really is full proof. Now I’m encouraged that with this clarity & ability to set boundaries I can finally be free of the pain. 😊

[christina]

It’s amazing how interconnected our mental space and gut health becomes especially after trauma. For a while I didn’t want my leaky gut to get better because that means that I would have to give into my fearful avoidant tendencies when I healed. Aka “ To have more energy” (hurt people more)

[love_kiwee]

i am currently going thru and watching your entire library of videos LMAO and i relate so hardcore with nearly every video so far :') it feels like you are inside my head and are answering lifelong questions of mine about myself <3 THANK YOU

[kristinavisk]

Dear Paulien, it was veeery insightful! I am dealing with chronic fatigue and even i do shadow work as crazy, i found here really helpful information, such as - why you want to be tired? it is so obvious when you said that! will work with that as well. And expectations. I think my expectations to others also sucks out a lot of energy. About physical reasons - i also tried detox my body from parasites, which helped, because a lot energy our body consumes to process toxins out of body.
And wanted to thank you for your videos - they are absolute help in understanding inner state which sometimes makes to feel like going crazy. Which is really scary. Very glad to have found your channel :)

[aminabelloulou]

Thank you Pauline 💕 1 and 5 resonate the most with me

[Apbt-rvzw]

A lot of this translates to Dismissive Avoidants too

[AubernsRevolution]

Yes, the autonomic nervous system is malfunctioning from trauma. Pain, fatigue digestion etc. Your body is working harder in dysregulation and hypervigilence. Migraines, fibromilagia. Disautomia. All related for me. I'm trying very hard to hear years of trauma and illness. The vagus nerve. All of it. It's so hard processing all of it.

[Anne.....]

Hi Paulien, thank you again for a very informative video.
Can I ask you a question? You say that other peoples expectations are their own responsibility and has nothing to do with you. 
I can understand and agree with that, and I am currently practicing listening to my body/emotions and saying no to helping others if I feel I don't want to do what they ask me to do. It feels good, but I am a bit bewildered because I have a neighbor who is constantly doing favors for me, sometimes to the point where she is forcing her help onto me (I am also practicing saying no to her help when I don't want it). She has really helped me a lot and I am grateful for some of it, but I also feel that her help comes with string attached, so that she expects me to help her to the extent that she is helping me. And that would be impossible, because I simply don't have the energy.
Therefore, should I say no to her help, so that I don't receive more help from her than I am able/willing to give her myself, or is it her own responsibility how much help she wants to offer me? Sometimes it makes me feel guilty saying no to helping her out, because I feel there should be reciprocity in a relationship.

[mariea.]

Hi Paulien, thank you so much for your free resources here on YouTube 💕
Could you please make a video on how to love as a FA?

[tulip]

I've been watching a bunch of your videos and boy do I feel constantly called out. Like my dude.

[freekff]

Thanks! As soon as I sit behind my computer at home (for my job) I feel lots of tension (resistance) in hips and stomack. I do like my job, but constantly afraid, not reaching deadlines. (?) I find it very difficult to let go of.. do you have a suggestion?