How people avoid saying 'narcissist' in public

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[NovaPrincess]

@20:28 'It's like living with a leaky roof and thinking everything is fine on the sunny days.' That gave me chills.

[El-bztq]

Its so extremely frustrating when people don't get this. So important to break it down in details.

[christinesalyer]

"An asshole is an asshole 16:49 " is the Best Ramani quote. Get t-shirts & coffee cups ready for market.😅❤

[mariehughey]

I appreciate you saying we need to use the word when it applies. Words matter. My father use to say, “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” I’m surprised how many people don’t get that.

[geric.]

After many years of therapy for childhood trauma and narcissistic abuse, I returned to school for a degree in counseling. The director, a psychologist, at my final year placement was well known for being “intense”. She consistently triangulate, gaslight, manipulate, minimize, and isolate staff whom she deemed inferior- myself and another fellow intern! We learned quickly intense was code for mean.Teamwork meant everyone works to elevate her stature rather than enhance the strengths of each team player. I never received one compliment, only harsh criticism, the entire 10 months I worked there (for free!). But being educated (thanks to you!) I knew she never be a source of validation and support. So important to know this code!

[Sues]

They are Bullies in general. My favorite word because in my case it is perfect description other than narcissist!

[amazingjane]

Narcissists hate the mention of Narcissists.

[andreahoverson]

I WAS going to what I thought was a biblical counselor after coming out of a decades long marriage. When I used the word narcissist to describe my x, I was told not to use that word because it wasn't in the Bible and we needed to use biblical terms. I countered that with, "What's easier, use all of the descriptions or use one word that encompasses all of what I dealt with?" That "counselor" was stumped and tried to downplay my question. Much to the "counselor's" dislike, I continued calling it what it was. Needless to say, I didn't stick with that "counselor" and realized they were in need of education. Thank you, Dr. Ramani for being my long-distance counselor. Your videos and It's Not You book have helped me more than you can imagine. I'm still in recovery mode but each day is better.

[azalea]

You are so right, Dr. Ramani. In Danish we have an aphorism on calling things by their right name namely "call a shovel a shovel". As you said "an asshole is an asshole", don't excuse them. Plenty of people have been through traumatic events, yet they are still kind and empathic people anyway. To be nice or to be mean is always - always - a personal choice. If you select the latter, you are per defintion an asshole - perhaps even a narcissist or a psychopath. Don't excuse them.

[yukio_saito]

Their "anger issues" are never addressed. "Anger management" is impossible for them. Their anger is unmanageable.

[Hatbox]

I say "Jekyll and Hyde". That's sums it up in a nutshell.

[ritatharp]

Dr. Ramani you so nailed it again!
You said it's like walking on egg shells. I say its like walking on broken glass. Its definitely a cycle of anger and I'm sorry. I felt like I was in some kind of loop repeatedly. It is more than just an anger issue. 😮 I was warned before I married him that he had anger issues but my naivety maybe prevented me from thinking it was going to be a problem for me later on. I thought in my youthfulness he was just protecting me. 🤷. It gave me a false sense of safety. I hope and pray this helps someone.

[sonalib]

Selfish is the best word i think. Using code words is still another way of walking around on eggshells and allowing the narcissist to look better than they are.

and Intensely mean 😢

im facing an exit for my impending low contact with my mother whose control ive been under for the last 5 years since January 2019 and she financially and emotionally abused me to to the point of homelessnessness and being a target for others in the world outside. As im getting back on my feet again and getting my support system now with the help of your videos in the last couple years, Ive made major progress to reduce the burden of guilt amd shame that is already assigned at birth for women of color being indian by ethnicity.
Honor killing isnt uncommon for our community and i dont fit so it bacame pretty scary and tragic but its in the past now. Lessons are learned but i have a sensitivity to lying and liers now and dont want. to live in fear of narcissists who dont care about themselves or other people genuinely

[amandajohnson-williams]

Being intense is ok to me, being passionate is ok ...
If I'm refering to a narcissist I might say the person is TOXIC

[laydeezman]

There's a reason why she's my absolute favourite! I've read her book which has PEELED back my eyes and I see the world differently! I see narcs everywhere or at least able to identify narcissistic behaviour, entitlement and rage. This is one of the main reasons I like saying 'no' now. I used to be a 'yes' person- try saying no to people, a narc would feel disrespected and you'll see their body language and tone of voice change. You'll also see them rage with entitlement!

Her book should be up there with the staples such as 48 laws of power etc. I'm re-reading it with a person I'm dating and I'd recommend it to EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET!!!

[Note.O]

Dr. Ramani, I sincerely love how you can kick people's asses verbally and factually. Everytime I see Piers Morgan, I wish you could be there to tell him about himself.

[jeridelupa]

Even my current therapist, who may not hold this position for much longer, told me the same thing when I described my mother and her behavior as "narcissistic". I was immediately shut down and told that I should not be diagnosing someone, to which I replied I was using it as a descriptor. She still didn't like it, this woman has a PhD in psychology, and spent a good part of the rest of the session defending my mother's narcissistic behavior. Not only was I not heard, not witnessed, not encouraged, not supported, but my primary abuser was being defended by my therapist! I left that session just shaking my head.

[mariahwhite]

"When you don't understand narcissism, you're either going to put yourself in harms way or become your gonna be an enabler." -Dr. Ramani

[Latoree]

The two faces; one in public and the other in private.

[nopereradicator]

Narcissists know what narcissist means. The retaliation is BRUTAL. Easier to tap dance and ignore victims. Victims have no teeth to bite.