The roots of 'angry perfectionism'

Angry perfectionism is a unique symptom of depression where frustration and rage come from your perception of how the world should work, but doesn't.

Join this channel to get access to perks:

Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly.

My book: For When Everything is Burning

Mood Bloom games for depression and anxiety (I have partnered with this brand):
iOS
Android

Connect with me on TikTok:

Therapy with me (Iowa residents only)

Work with me (Non-Iowa residents)

Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

#AngryPerfectionism #DepressionAwareness #MentalWellness

[spacegirl]

Welp. I feel called out. I struggle with this all the time. I think my standards are very basic. They make sense in my head, sure. But the world doesn't work this way now. I think some time ago it used to, but now it doesn't. I don't ask for much, just something to function how it should, how it ought to, how it did for decades before everything turned to crap.

I'm going to send this to my counselor. It explains a lot about how frustrated I get when I keep up my end of the bargain or agreement and nobody else does. I know that's a trauma trigger for me from being parentified at a young age. I've carried this anger into my adult years, it makes my codependency erupt in spectacular fashion when things don't go the way I think they should.

Thank you, Dr. Scott.

[EburneaTower]

I feel what you're saying. Adapting to something malfunctioning shouldn't be our task. One would have to be sick to be ok with the world. Idk, what else to tell you, in my case, only my faith gives me ways to make things work

[cookiecaticat]

I absolutely feel this. I do feel that I am not fit for this world.

[fikujez]

This was visualised really nicely in Bojack Horseman, where Diane was holding everyone to impossible standards and it was just making her miserable.

[eyonfrankston]

Describes me very well. I picked up angry perfectionism from my old managers when I worked in a supermarket 2 decades ago - an eftpos crash they screamed and swore at you, checkout outage they screamed and swore at you, national/global it outage they'd scream and swear at you. Inherited this as a survival mechanism which I still have today.

[onyoutube]

Absolutely spot on. Don't expect the world to live up to your standards.

[SueEllenSmith-juot]

Thank you, Spot on. With this word I can move forward. 👍Learning so much from your professional platform. 🇺🇲

[likesgood]

oh man so real. i'm a doctor too. and trying to put my life that is on fire in every way out. and not succeeding...so real. and it's angry. ideology vs practice in medicine is making me furious . this helps . at least i know. even though i guess i did.

[scottjackson]

Who decided that having high standards and being upset when others don’t have similarly high standards is a symptom of depression? This dynamic is the prerequisite for accomplishing anything meaningful in life.

[SheriMeligan-tnvb]

😮 I feel that in myself. Maybe that's why I'm very independent (my husband understood that).
There ARE standards though, that really need to be met.

[lunagabriella]

😅 I'll throw you a curve ball. My parents didn't care much about me, so however I saw the world was obviously wrong. I just didn't know it. My late teens and entire twenties were f-ing horrible. Absolutely horrible. I'm glad I took my work ethic of rolling with the punches into the rest of my life, because that was the only way I could grow and also just I guess BE a "normal" human. So weird but true. I avoided some stuff, like drug and alcohol addictions which were prevalent, plus teen pregnancy that was really high as well.

[MiCTURITIONHATEGAVz]

So it's all 'my fault' then?What if the world around IS a mess and people do stupid 🤬%?!? that I see everyday?I am aware of how I perceive things, my state of mind etc, butI am somewhat perturbed & vexed that it's due to me 'not enjoying life and not being successful'? What about the actual 🤬 state of the world..?!I have high standards because a lot of people do things Half arsed.... xo

[small_dropin_the_big_ocean]

So, it's an aspect of depression indeed. How can I reframe my beliefs then? Is there a way to calm down my anger because despite knowing the reason as to why I feel this way, I cannot let go of high expectations. I believe I feel justified in my anger because of my personal bad experiences that led me to have those expectations in first place.

[TokyoBlue]

Yes I feel this. Didn’t know it stemmed from my depression. What is the solution to this?

[mreese]

This could be a cause and effect misunderstanding. Shitty world causing depression seems more likely than the other way around.

[Biiku_]

Like requiring an ADHD person to go to three different people to refill their ADHD meds every month, requiring going to 4 different locations and shutting down and crying in 4 different parking lots?

[shawnsnow]

Okay you’ve got me to a T but what’s the means of overcoming this?

[brendalg]

Some are related to how I am not successful in the world, and some are why others are not successful. For example, how we handle criminals. Sometimes we could have stopped someond from being a criminal if we handled it right when they were a kid. Once they get to prison, we still don't handle it right. They learn how to be a better criminal. Or they want to change, but the system is set up so it is nearly impossible for them to be successful. Even though we know this stuff goes on, we do nothing about it. The average public doesn't care at all. All they think about is putting the criminal in jail. They don't think about how a very high percentage commit crime again. Politicians even brag about how they are tough on crime. No politician is going to run on a platform of prison reform... He will get branded as being soft on crime.

I am not a criminal. I don't have family in prison. So why do I care about this topic?

[maxsheerin]

This is me sort of. Or a lot. Or, I dont F know, I'm only learning about perfectionism and when ive done it or might be doing it. 😮

[colinandrews]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ the universe being as a whole giving us our daily lives at the moment by arranging it self in the form of worlds orbiting their suns with their moons for life to exist as we know it the universe being existed long before we did at this time in this form
Lots of universal love everyone Colin 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Scott love Colin